"Fake".
First up, define "fake". Normally it means "appearing to be something you're not". The thing is we're all forced to do that at times, it's a basic necessity of life! In my case, as a teacher, I have to get up and go to school and appear positive and energised when sometimes I'm feeling really down. Sometimes I just want to stay in bed or play video games all days and just let the world go on without me. But I make myself do stuff I don't "feel" cos I have to. Is that "fake"? Or is it just dealing with the fact that we can't always expect the world to accommodate us?
On a more casual level, "fake" means "a person who deliberately pretends to be a certain way to curry favour with others". The most obvious trait here would be a person changing their opinions and attitude when around different groups of people, particularly talking about others behind their backs. I think people who do that get found out eventually - maintaining such a web of wide-spread deceit is more than most people can handle.
As for "selfishness". Well, I agree and disagree with what @
Clopin said about humans being selfish. It's a matter of semantics for me. I would say humans are all motivated by
self-interest, but that "selfishness" is not quite the same thing. By my reckoning, "self-interest" is the basic trait in humanity that motivates us to maximise our own comfort and security. It's fundamentally necessary to our survival. But "selfishness" is the quality of being focused only on the self. Now sometimes, "selfishness" (focus on the self) is not always in our long-term self-interest. But the truly selfish individual doesn't see that. They fail to see the bigger picture because they are (yes) entirely focused on the self. Instant gratification, the ID principle.
It's also common to hear some folks state that there is no such thing as "selflessness", because all acts of good will ultimately come with a feel-good pay-off. I disagree. Whatever "feel-good pay-off" we may get from an act of charity, it does not necessarily override the desire to keep that money for ourselves, or spend that time on ourselves. It's not a False Dichotomy of Purely Selfish VS Purely Selfless. It's a balancing act of gain VS loss. And sometimes one loses more than one gains in order to help someone else out. Sure, you "gain" some positive vibes. But did those good vibes make up for what you lost to do that? Not always. But you did it anyway. That to me is "selflessness". Even when the pay-off
is worth it, it's still not entirely selfish either, because you have helped to benefit another rather than just "The Self".
Anyway, enough semantic prattle. How to spot a selfish friend? They're the ones who always put their needs first. They want certain things from you (usually revolving around their needs), but they expect to be exempt from you needing them (also revolving around their needs). They're the ones whose focus is always on
their payoff, what
they want. They're the ones who never seem to have to sacrifice anything, or do anything of inconvenience to themselves to be your friend. Friendship is supposed to be about mutual support and security. If the support and security isn't mutual, you'll know it.