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Specifically between Fi and Se;;


When it comes to wondering if I'm ESFP, I relate heavily to having more a more "I want things done, and I wanted it yesterday" attitude that my Te-inferior boyfriend lacks quite a bit. I am easily excitable, love to just go, go, go and definitely crash and burn when everything stops -- like all the energy I have i there when it needs to be, but once nothing happens, I'm good to fall asleep~ I am BIG on my appearance: constantly evolving and changing, realizing that there's so many psychological factors that can go into it. I love playing with different images and looks! And I'm not one to think a lot on it -- if I want something, I'll just jump right in! I spent a year growing out my hair, and one morning wondered what it would be like to have a pixie again? So I grabbed the scissors and just went for it! This describes majority of my decisions; thinking something sounds like a fun idea and just going into it! Having to sit and reflect on how it's going to affect me is very stressful, I hate it. It's so difficult for me to think about long-term goals and answer questions about how I plan for my future to be, because I have no idea until it's right in front of me -- what it is that I want. I'll easily distract myself rather than think about the future, it sounds really dumb but it mentally feels very hard for me to focus and answer that kind of question!

But then, I wonder if I'm ISFP? Because I know I can be really shy around others, and it could take me some time to really trust someone and open right up. Sometimes I have good hunches about others, and can pick up on vibes. I won't mind @ all approaching someone who I know deep down that I can really be friends with this person! But with others, I just feel more cautious and don't like initiating unless I need something or if I'm in a really wonderful mood~

Ooh but yeah;; I've had a lot of withdrawn moments and years, and can be seen by some as fun and outgoing, but also shy and distant by others. Function-wise, ESFP seems like a really nice fit! But I don't feel like I act like the descriptions? Especially the party stereotype -- I don't even like parties! They're always very boring and feel too "clique-y" to me;;
 

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Hello, first of all like I tell everyone, don't give any attention to descriptions. They were meant for people who aren't really interested in understanding personality.

I'd say you should try checking out the order of your functions and that way you'll know what's your type.

Type Development @MBTI-notes - Type Theory

This is a blog post talking about a lot of things regarding the development of each person according to his type, but it talks a lot about how your dominant function should act with the auxilery, auxilery with tertiary, etc.

So maybe this post can enlighten you a bit :)
 
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It's normal to get confused. In fact you would probably notice your 2nd function more than your dominant one. Sometimes your dominant function is so obvious you do it subconsciously without realising it. Honestly, you would have to find out for yourself but my bets are on ISFP at least from your personal description.
 

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I don't know about Fi and Se in ISFPs or ESFPs, but I believe a general rule of thumb is that your dominant function is where you feel at your best.

Think back to moments where you've felt like you're totally killing it, in a great mood.. in control.. comfortable in your own skin.m excelling at something that is natural for you... in a "flow" state - consider what you were doing, and what made you feel so good.

It is my understanding that to apply this theory to Se would be to get a bit of a rush when there is a lot going on - feeling at home in the hustle and bustle of a crowd, feeling at home driving fast with the music blaring, feeling at home and in the zone absorbing all the scents of some tasty food while eating some before it's ready.
If indulging your senses gives you butterflys and makes you feel truly yourself, at your best, most happiest, I'd suggest Se is a possibility.

My understanding of Fi unfortunately isn't as solid - I'd love to hear an Fi dom express how they feel at their best and in that flow state.

I imagine it would be.. freedom to do what you want, without any kind of external pressure - everybody loves this no doubt, but I picture an Fi dom feeling the same feelings I described an Se dom might feel, when they're afforded the luxury of complete freedom to do as they please, in their own time, however they want - an example might be that they love video games - so when they know they can play a game, without any pressure - no partner needing them, no chores to do, nothing on their mind - absolutely no external pressure - not even time - then they feel in that zone, at their best, most mentally healthy, most happy... if this kind of thing is what makes you feel at your best, perhaps Fi is more dominant.. but, I'd love to hear from an Fi dom about this kind of thing.


If this is true, I think an Fi dom would have a hard time really finding a career that allows them to get in the zone.
 
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"I want things done, and I wanted it yesterday" attitude that my Te-inferior boyfriend lacks quite a bit. I am easily excitable, love to just go, go, go and definitely crash and burn when everything stops -- like all the energy I have i there when it needs to be, but once nothing happens, I'm good to fall asleep~ I am BIG on my appearance: constantly evolving and changing, realizing that there's so many psychological factors that can go into it. I love playing with different images and looks! And I'm not one to think a lot on it -- if I want something, I'll just jump right in! I spent a year growing out my hair, and one morning wondered what it would be like to have a pixie again? So I grabbed the scissors and just went for it! This describes majority of my decisions; thinking something sounds like a fun idea and just going into it! Having to sit and reflect on how it's going to affect me is very stressful, I hate it. It's so difficult for me to think about long-term goals and answer questions about how I plan for my future to be, because I have no idea until it's right in front of me -- what it is that I want. I'll easily distract myself rather than think about the future, it sounds really dumb but it mentally feels very hard for me to focus and answer that kind of question!

But then, I wonder if I'm ISFP? Because I know I can be really shy around others, and it could take me some time to really trust someone and open right up. Sometimes I have good hunches about others, and can pick up on vibes. I won't mind @ all approaching someone who I know deep down that I can really be friends with this person! But with others, I just feel more cautious and don't like initiating unless I need something or if I'm in a really wonderful mood~

Ooh but yeah;; I've had a lot of withdrawn moments and years, and can be seen by some as fun and outgoing, but also shy and distant by others. Function-wise, ESFP seems like a really nice fit! But I don't feel like I act like the descriptions? Especially the party stereotype -- I don't even like parties! They're always very boring and feel too "clique-y" to me;;[/FONT]
There is definitely more to ESFP than being a party girl...

Your energetic attitude, awareness of impactful appearances and tendency to mobilize (being a go-getter, essentially) indicates strong Se / extroversion. Like you say, it seems to fit you (something like Socionics SEE: Se base, Fe demonstrative, creative use of Fi, Te HA...). I don't think an introvert would have as much difficulty thinking about how things affect them.

Just curious about the future thing - is it something you would rather not think at all, or is there some interest to that sort of thing but you just find it difficult to do on your own?

Btw the part about you approaching people who you know you could befriend reminds me of how Fi conserned with proximity and distance, distinguishing relations and is supposed to recognize innate affinity between two people rather than achieve that through Fe communication.
 

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For me, it was mainly figuring out how "childlike" my Fi was. Most people suggest looking at your what your inferior function might be, which is also good advice.

Also, shy extroverts exist; there's more than many realize.
 

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Forget about stereotypes. The descriptions are there to fit hundred million people or more into a single description. It can't be done.

From your description I see an ESFP. ESFP's can be shy, why couldn't they be? ESFP's can hate parties, no problem.

We could look at it from an inferior function standpoint too:

ESFP's have inferior Ni, meaning it's stressful for them to sit there and visualize everything, when they could just go out and try it out.
ISFP's have inferior Te, meaning it's stressful for them to formulate goals and craft a plan for reaching them.

You even describe your inferior Ni in your post. So I say: screw the sterotypes. If they don't fit you, it's the stereotypes that are wrong. Not you. Be the ESFP you have to be. You have my permission *wink*
 

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Discussion Starter #9
Thank you everyone for taking the time to respond and help me out on this, I truly appreciate it! ♡♡

@TalNFJ I think the link you provided was what helped me out the most, even when I didn't want to accept the fact that I may be an Fi-dom;; I lazily skimmed through it when you had posted, and pushed aside the functions that resonated with ISFP in favor of trying to fool myself into wrongly believing I'm ESFP. During this time of deciding between the two types, I'm endlessly looking back on past experiences and judgments of those closest to me; what these things put together are most congruent to. It doesn't help that I have an Fi-dom partner whose mindset is easily described as "us against the world" -- in that every time I tried to bring up a valid point for myself being an ISFP based on traits pointed out by others, he is defiant in that everyone is wrong and that the only opinions that matter are our own;; Which I don't believe is so healthy in trying to determine myself? Because I understand I have some difficulty relying on my own idea of whom it is I am, I understand my perceptions may be skewed or I indulge in deceiving myself -- only to be disappointed and self-loathing once I accept these truths. I've spent my whole childhood growing up believing that I was right and everyone else was wrong; it led to sudden harsh reality and isolation. Perhaps there is good in opening yourself up to criticism and honesty: a lesson I'm forever learning, over and over.

I wish to express to you my deepest thanks. I'm truly relieved to have clicked on your link once more and properly read through all it had to tell, without any bias or consciously avoiding particularly Fi-dominant descriptions. If you have any other helpful or curious sites correlating with MBTI, I'd be more than happy to explore them! ♡



Now all that's left is finding out the rest of my personality LOL;; I'm most certain of sx/sp. Difficulty distinguishing between type 6 and 4 however? And socionics is just a bundle of confusion for me;; Still! I am most happy to have found my true type in MBTI, however embarrassing and honest all the flaws and descriptions may be. Thank you everyone for your support, I wish you all the best in future endeavors and in discovering/expressing oneself; to all your happiness.
 

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Usually, it's the one where you read the description and think ''Yup, that's the story of my life''.

A lot of people believe that you can't recognize your dominant function because it's so effortless and subconscious, but I disagree. Yes, it's true that for introverts you may recognize your first extroverted version better because it's....extroverted. But by virtue of being an introvert, you HAVE to know how you operate on a primary level.
 
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