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I'm sick of having crushes. They always hurt me. They never like me back, no matter how much I try. I work really hard, but it never happens to me, and it always happens to everyone else. They don't even try. I'm starting to become frustrated. They always end up finding someone "better" than me, and honestly, it pisses me off. When I get over a crush, I immediately have a crush on someone else without me being able to control it, and it's really annoying. How do you give up and never have crushes again? Is there a way to train myself to prevent myself from developing a crush on someone? Thank you! I want to focus on other things, but it's like my feelings are out of my control. These crushes are holding me back from being happy with myself, and I want to overcome this.
It will be a big weight off my shoulders if I overcome this challenge.

Thank you!

 

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Charge'n Thru The Night
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You are a kid. Having spurs of infatuations about people is perfectly fine at this stage of your life. It is something you need to accept because it is perfectly normal.

IF you have crush on someone. Ask yourself why you like that person. Then think if what you like about him or her is that unique. Most likely they are not that unique, and feeling might just go away.

Or just think of him or her taking a dump. That will usually put it out for awhile.
 

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Let's trade spots, I teach you how to not feel romantically and you teach me how to feel romantically? lol
I'm kidding of course (I like not getting crushes), but my point is that the grass is always greener and not being able to experience crushes comes with its own set of unique drawbacks. Mostly the whole "end life doom" and social alienation, feeling like I can't relate and having nothing to offer when people try to talk to me about relationships. And the strong sense of annoyance every time media shoves romance in my face. Plus, life gets harder as one person against the world. This world revolves around couples and their offspring, single adults are often seen as out of place.

Think of it this way, hardship makes us adapt and evolve. You'll learn to overcome this and then someday you'll be glad that you did. I always feel like I'm lagging behind, like I'm a bit less "mature" because I don't have to learn to pick myself back up after constant rejection like everyone else does. I never learned to take risks and roll with the punches, as such I'm overly-cautious like a turtle that goes back into its shell instead of facing problems headon. I tread through life far more carefully than I should. I get a lot less stress in general, but others would probably say I'm missing out on the reward at the end of said trials, though I can't really miss something I've never had.

On the plus side though, I learned to enjoy my own company pretty early on. Maybe you can start there, you can't learn to never have crushes, but I think you could lessen the impact they have on your life if you can learn to have fun even when you're single, and not in spite of it. Find out what your interests/hobbies are, and go immerse yourself in them! Don't think of it as distracting yourself, that's not the goal here. You're going to have crushes even if you have hobbies, because mostly everyone does. You're just going to learn how to be happy when both single or paired, you get the best of both worlds that way.
 

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But crush is life. XD

What you do: since having a crush is inevitable for you, never expect anything from your crush.

Expecting frustrates the fuck out of you. XD

Just have fun with your crush. :)
 

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I actually find it very difficult to crush on ppl, takes me super long time to build trust. This is what i do: obsess over the miner details that you dislike over people. Obsess over the reasons you imagine it would never work: play out all the ways it could go wrong.
Obsess over the reasons why relationships and love are not a priority for you right now, because before you can really commit you need to achieve x number of goals. Voila.
crush what crush?
 

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May I suggest replacing your mind and body with that of a robot?

Seriously, when I was stupid kid I had crushes too. So I spent as much as time as possible around the person...so that I would eventually learn they too were only human and had many obnoxious flaws.

Eventually I married one. Now I live with his obnoxious flaws and they are just another con ( as in pro/con) of living.
 

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I actually find it very difficult to crush on ppl, takes me super long time to build trust. This is what i do: obsess over the miner details that you dislike over people. Obsess over the reasons you imagine it would never work: play out all the ways it could go wrong.
Obsess over the reasons why relationships and love are not a priority for you right now, because before you can really commit you need to achieve x number of goals. Voila.
crush what crush?
minor*
 
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I find it completely difficult to have crushes, here is what i do,
1. Obsess over all the little details you don't like in them, (how are they not perfect).
2. Obsess over all the ways that you don't belong together, why you two are incompatible.
3. Obsess over all the reasons why you are not mature enough to be in a relationship.
crush? what crush? voila.
 

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Lotus Jester
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The more sudden and intense the crush; the more it is likely to be a really bad idea.
 

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Isn't what makes it a crush the fact that it's just you liking them? Maybe you're just the kind that has a strong need for intimacy or somebody to idolise. Some people tend to get sucked into infatuation very easily and very frequently. Luckily for you, that usually becomes less of an issue as you become older.
 
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