How to not fall to ENFPs and how to not turn them down unconsciously

782 Views 1 Reply 2 Participants Last post by Baracuda902, Oct 22, 2017

CCCarsten

Discussion Starter · Oct 22, 2017

As long as I can remember, ENFPs females were always my greatest crush and my single biggest reason to be heartsick.

Being a male ENTJ, I am very decisive, commited, impatient and extreme extroverted (BTW: Why is this part of the forum called The Executives? I thought we were called Commanders). When I am in love, I go for her as my predator instincts command me to do. I want to spend every single minute with her.

Usually in the beginning it goes quite well, there is often mutual interest. The ENFP lady likes me to and since they start romances pretty spontaneously, we have an affair (sometimes, not always).

The phase of mutual interest does not last longer than a month, usually. I want more and she wants less (without me telling). I figure it's because I am perceived as a thread to their freedom and independence.

Hence the question to the guys here: How do you flirt with ENFPs and how do you make them feel comfortable? Or once you see you are hoplessly in love with an ENFP lady, how do you get rid of this?

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Baracuda902

· #2 · Oct 22, 2017

There's always the unhealthy and ill-advised "be a dick to them" method.

Kidding aside, I like to see whether a relationship works out in the long run. If I don't see a possibility that it'll last, then I lose interest in the person meteorically. Like, if there's little chemistry, if the person isn't responsible, if the person is more interested in excitement than commitment, if the person is dumb, or Hell, it could be because of my physical circumstances as well. I get to know them platonically before I pursue them as a lover. After all, why be in a relationship with someone if you wouldn't want them as a friend? I guess I just know when to not go for something out of pure excitement and interest, and just go with something that has potential. It doesn't lead to a lot of relationships, but I invest that it'll lead me to a happy one.

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