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How to prepare for fatherhood?

648 Views 9 Replies 9 Participants Last post by  g_w
My wife and have recently discovered that she is pregnant. Barring any complications, this will be our first child. This was unexpected given reports from physicians and I am mostly ignorant when it comes to all things parenting. It is my preference not to suck at it. I suppose I'm beginning the knowledge accumulation phase. I'd like to sort what I need to learn in order to keep things efficient given the vast amount of conflicting info out there. I seek advice understanding that first-hand experience is probably a big part of it. Any guidance or anecdotes you can offer are appreciated. A few tidbits that may or may not be pertinent:


* We started a business about a year ago so income and losing growth momentum are concerns.
* My wife types as ENFP and seems to fit most characteristics on reputable profiles.
* Neither of us grew up with wealth or means. We have a negative bias toward individuals we deem to be spoiled or entitled.
* I'd like our children to have strong work ethic and not grow up with a sense of entitlement. I do not feel young adults should be reliant on their parents for financial support (assuming no circumstances beyond their control).
* I'd like them to be respectful toward others and decent human beings at their core.
* I'd like them to be independent thinkers and pursue whatever interests they choose.
* From my observations, it appears that many parents have difficulty striking the balance between too rigid in trying to instill values/responsibility (ignoring them as individuals) and too passive in allowing them to freedom to pursue their own paths (unintentionally spoiling them).


Where to begin?
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i have only one thing i seem to say consistently to every pregnant person.

chill out. your baby is going to be a person, pretty much right from the git. and there's going to be lots and lots and lots of time for the two of you to get to know one another.

when you actually have a kid, and your kid is so obviously and almost-immediately a person entirely in his or her own personal right, at least 80% of this kind of parenting-as-abstract-idea stuff just vanishes. it becomes obvious almost all of the time what the right thing is going to be for that specific particular person who is your kid.

tl;dr: try not to worry too much. you are the person who is going to know your own child better than anyone else in the world.
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