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How to prepare for fatherhood?

647 Views 9 Replies 9 Participants Last post by  g_w
My wife and have recently discovered that she is pregnant. Barring any complications, this will be our first child. This was unexpected given reports from physicians and I am mostly ignorant when it comes to all things parenting. It is my preference not to suck at it. I suppose I'm beginning the knowledge accumulation phase. I'd like to sort what I need to learn in order to keep things efficient given the vast amount of conflicting info out there. I seek advice understanding that first-hand experience is probably a big part of it. Any guidance or anecdotes you can offer are appreciated. A few tidbits that may or may not be pertinent:

* We started a business about a year ago so income and losing growth momentum are concerns.
* My wife types as ENFP and seems to fit most characteristics on reputable profiles.
* Neither of us grew up with wealth or means. We have a negative bias toward individuals we deem to be spoiled or entitled.
* I'd like our children to have strong work ethic and not grow up with a sense of entitlement. I do not feel young adults should be reliant on their parents for financial support (assuming no circumstances beyond their control).
* I'd like them to be respectful toward others and decent human beings at their core.
* I'd like them to be independent thinkers and pursue whatever interests they choose.
* From my observations, it appears that many parents have difficulty striking the balance between too rigid in trying to instill values/responsibility (ignoring them as individuals) and too passive in allowing them to freedom to pursue their own paths (unintentionally spoiling them).

Where to begin?
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Congratulations :)

Follow your instincts. They are stronger than you might expect. Focus on you, your wife and your baby. You will be bombarded with advice on how to let baby sleep, how to feed them, how to raise them. They will tell you what you should and shouldn’t be doing. Smile, nod and then go back to what works best for you and your family.

One blog I’ve found very useful; Evolutionary Parenting. Research/evidence based articles on topics like sleep and feeding etc.

Model the behaviour you would like them to pick up on. Consistently.

Let go of the idea that you can plan this all ahead and have it all worked out before baby arrives. It will turn your world upside down and babies don’t do plans. Take it a day at a time and work on finding your comfort zone in the new normal before making too many decisions about how you will parent your child.
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