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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I was just thinking about how the majority of mild annoyances (not really arguments, just those "sigh" moments) in our relationship are because of my tendency to ask "why?". Here's an example:

Me: So, do you want me to pick something up for dinner on the way home?
Him: Sure
Me: Ok, what do you want?
Him: How about the taco truck?
Me: Sounds why do you want taco truck?
Him: Well, we can get something else if you don't want that...
Me: No, it sounds good I just wanted to know why you wanted it
Him: Really, I don't care where you go, get something you like
Me: I really do want taco truck! I'll go there
Him: Just get something else!
Me: No, I'm going there!

Lol...this is a daily occurance...stupid I know, but I just can't help being curious about "why" he want's something or "why" he does something, even simple things. It's not really a problem because we are mostly just joking around/slightly annoyed. I've tried explaining to him that I'm not disagreeing with him but he doesn't understand why I would ask why then. Soooo, is there any way to convey this to him? Like I said, this isn't really a problem, I'd just like to be able to explain to him why I do this in a way he will understand.

1,095 Posts
I am a guy, so my thought process is likely different :tongue:

But I myself would just refrain from asking.

- So, do you want me to pick something up for dinner on the way home?
- Sure
- Ok, what do you want?
- How about the taco truck?
- Sounds good...

The end heh. I usually asked my questions in this manner and then changed the subject with my former ENFP girlfriend -

What would you like to eat?
It may take me about 30 mins to get back.
Do you need anything else?
You look great today, call me if you need anything.

This can be patronizing, but lucky for me I don't mind getting called out on anything. It lets me ask 'Why?'[smiley]

If he likes it, and you both find the humor, why change though? If it ain't broken.. or whatever.
If you want to explain it, say that it may be in your nature to question everyone and everything, from a speck of dust to a deity.

136 Posts
I fully understand the problem with people reading things between the lines, when there is nothing there. Although I don't have this problem with my INTJ boyfriend. It seems like he knows me well enough to know that I say things for what they mean.

But asking why someone is in to mood for taco is imo a really stupid question. You can't really argument why you feel like eating one thing over another, and why is it even necessarily to ask? Why do you need to know? Is it relevant to ask?

Too many meaningless why's is just annoying.
In Denmark we have a childrens song called "Spørge Jørgen", meaning something like "Asking Jorgen" (the last one is a name).
Its about a little boy who asked about everything all the time, witch annoys his parents and everyone. He asks stuff like, why don't cows have wings, why do they say 'muh' and not bark? Why is there nails on his fingers? If it was on his nose, it would be funny. Why isn't he a cat? Why can't his boot talk? Why this, and why that...
Anyway, he asked a lot of silly questions like this, his parents got enough of him, spanked him, and send him to bed without any pancakes.
Only then he asked the relevant question; Why doesn't he get any pancakes, and why is his butt so soar?

The moral of the story is of cause not to ask too many stupid questions, especially if they aren't really relevant for you to know, and you only ask for the purpose of asking.
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