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5 Posts
Disclaimer: I know there have been posts similar to this in the past, but I haven't found anything that really gives me the information I'm looking for - figured I'd give this a shot.
Well, an INTP and I were sort of seeing each other for a few months (although we lived about four hours apart) until he decided he didn't want to continue pursuing a romantic relationship, although he was adamant about remaining friends. Even though I still had very strong feelings for him (and still do currently, to be honest), I agreed to a platonic friendship because I figured I'd rather have him at least somewhat in my life than not at all. We began communicating much less, as would be expected, but for a while there would still be bursts of lots of communication that was very flirtatious in nature before he would disappear once again, leaving me both hurt and desperate for him to come back. I know - it's a vicious cycle and pretty terrible on my end, but for whatever reason he has me hooked. Now though, we've existed in this platonic state for about as long as we were in a romantic state, and I've noticed that recently he's been far less receptive to my attempts to contact him. His responses are more often than not relatively terse, and a few times now he's even completely ignored me, which has never happened before. Even with these developments, though, there's still the occasional instance of flirtatious communication or him initiating contact by sending me a news article or something similar.
Well, I recently found out that my job is relocating me to his city in a few months, and basically, I want to know if there is anything I can do make sure I haven't completely lost his friendship. From everything I've read, it seems like it would be better to just stop initiating any contact whatsoever, and while that's very much not in my nature (if I sense something's wrong I feel like I need to take action to correct it), I think I could make myself do that if it would help. Obviously I still secretly hope for something more than friends, but I also think that, if that really has been completely driven from his mind, I would be able to get over it eventually. More than anything I really just miss the frequency with which we used to talk/I'm still somewhat hurt by his recent blowing off without explanation our plans to talk on the phone. I know INTPs need time to themselves... but is there really nothing I can do in the meantime to speed that process along?
Well, an INTP and I were sort of seeing each other for a few months (although we lived about four hours apart) until he decided he didn't want to continue pursuing a romantic relationship, although he was adamant about remaining friends. Even though I still had very strong feelings for him (and still do currently, to be honest), I agreed to a platonic friendship because I figured I'd rather have him at least somewhat in my life than not at all. We began communicating much less, as would be expected, but for a while there would still be bursts of lots of communication that was very flirtatious in nature before he would disappear once again, leaving me both hurt and desperate for him to come back. I know - it's a vicious cycle and pretty terrible on my end, but for whatever reason he has me hooked. Now though, we've existed in this platonic state for about as long as we were in a romantic state, and I've noticed that recently he's been far less receptive to my attempts to contact him. His responses are more often than not relatively terse, and a few times now he's even completely ignored me, which has never happened before. Even with these developments, though, there's still the occasional instance of flirtatious communication or him initiating contact by sending me a news article or something similar.
Well, I recently found out that my job is relocating me to his city in a few months, and basically, I want to know if there is anything I can do make sure I haven't completely lost his friendship. From everything I've read, it seems like it would be better to just stop initiating any contact whatsoever, and while that's very much not in my nature (if I sense something's wrong I feel like I need to take action to correct it), I think I could make myself do that if it would help. Obviously I still secretly hope for something more than friends, but I also think that, if that really has been completely driven from his mind, I would be able to get over it eventually. More than anything I really just miss the frequency with which we used to talk/I'm still somewhat hurt by his recent blowing off without explanation our plans to talk on the phone. I know INTPs need time to themselves... but is there really nothing I can do in the meantime to speed that process along?