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Hey!
I was always this kid nobody would really talk to, because I was always kinda weird I guess. And if we’re the chameleons, I wonder why that might be, because in all other aspects I identify with an infj personality (now). So, the one thing I wanted from you: how can I find people to talk to about interesting things?
I thought maybe online, but that’s kinda weird. And sometimes I have this awesome story ideas, but I don’t really enjoy writing them that much (but I would like to have this kind of project and see my characters go through the story) - so I thought a writer would be fine to talk to. But I also thought I would have to write something too, so we can talk about both of our stories... or whatever.
Also, when I am with one person, I can usually talk and I enjoy it sometimes very much, but with every one other person who comes into the conversation, it gets harder and harder to talk (I thought maybe I don’t wanna interrupt much and in groups, there’s never silence). I also like to help other people when they don’t know something I do, like maths or languages mostly.
One last thing. Nowadays, I feel so isolated and I want to talk to people, to have friends and to have some hobbies and that kind of thing, but I just can’t. I don’t know why. I just don’t seem to have a good kind of response to a lot of themes other people talk about. (I also somewhat enjoy the isolated state, I can’t imagine myself really going out that much, just sometimes, and most people don’t get that and think I don’ really enjoy their company)
Maybe one more thing. If you suggest going to the gym or something like that, I don’t really wanna meet people who think I’m weird already. Like, my former classmates or people from the village I live in.
 

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♂️ INFJ 5w4 // IEI-Ni
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Same here. I like people but am actually not good at making new friends, so I wish I could give advice.
Super isolated. No friends really. Sadness. Alone time is strangely nice though. I want to socialize but I also know that after awhile it gets so exhausting
 

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I’ve always been the same way. I think the best thing to do is just start talking—don’t worry about being liked, don’t worry about “making a friend,” just strike up conversations whenever there’s a chance (“hi, how are you?” “I’m great, I’ve been working on this project about...” etc), and people who are interested in what you’re saying will naturally just gravitate toward you.
 

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My vehicle is INFP, 9w8. Vroom vroom!!
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(An AR-15 is the superior fox-hunting weapon)

If you want to talk to people about interesting things, go out on a limb and find an interesting hobby you think you'd enjoy, or maybe it's one you've always wanted to do. Then you will be around people who at least have one common interest with you, which increases your chances of striking up any conversation, which increases your chance of having a really successful conversation!:yeah:

Here you will find people who are super interested in personality theories. If that's what you're also super interested in, then you already have a leg in to make some friends. But no matter what you like, I think this is still a good community to be in.

An ISTP friend of mine, a male, recently started taking pole dancing classes. Misguided inferior Fe plus Se experimentation?—I don't know! But he's having a good time, and he's getting exercise and getting stronger, and he's learning another skill and art-form, and he has something really interesting to bring to a conversation! ...He makes more like-minded friends at his ukulele club, but one thing does lead to another!

Have fun!! :)
 

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It seems like your problem is that you don't have good conversation topics, so maybe you need to try something new in order to have something to talk about with others. If your head is constantly stuffed with "weird" (eg. esoteric interests, obscure theories, books that other people haven't read), it can be hard to keep that from mixing into conversations with "normal people". So my advice would be to listen to what kinds of things other people are talking about, and then literally go and do some research on that topic. For example, if everyone at your workplace is talking about a TV show, then watch some episodes of that show. If people like to talk about sports, try to keep up with that sport. I know these might not be things you are personally interested in, but hey, maybe you will be pleasantly surprised when you try something new. Other people on this thread have already suggested finding a club or an organization for people who share your interests, which is also good advice.
 

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In the same shoes but sadly have to resort to small talk first as most people are so shallow these days like a puddle in a parking lot that it is not funny. There are very few people who like deep topics and have some sophistication. Some people will have it easier than others but for the rest it is a lonely life where one has to come to terms and accept. I've given up trying to be "normal" and just go my own way.
 
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In the same shoes but sadly have to resort to small talk first as most people are so shallow these days like a puddle in a parking lot that it is not funny. There are very few people who like deep topics and have some sophistication. Some people will have it easier than others but for the rest it is a lonely life where one has to come to terms and accept. I've given up trying to be "normal" and just go my own way.
@The Lonley Hobbit, I used to think this way too, until I realized that talking about mundane things doesn't necessarily have to be boring or shallow; I've had very interesting conversations with people about things like our opinions on bread (we started talking about our travels and different places where we've eaten bread, and cool articles that we'd read about the history of bread, and funny bread-related stories from our past). Almost any topic can be deep or shallow depending on how you talk about it. Anyways, there are plenty of book clubs, philosophy meetups, and other places where you can go to have more substantial conversations if you want to. But I think if you enter a conversation with an open mind and take an interest in what the other person is interested in, rather than only focusing on what you want to talk about, you might learn something new even from a "small talk" conversation.
 

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@The Lonley Hobbit, I used to think this way too, until I realized that talking about mundane things doesn't necessarily have to be boring or shallow; I've had very interesting conversations with people about things like our opinions on bread (we started talking about our travels and different places where we've eaten bread, and cool articles that we'd read about the history of bread, and funny bread-related stories from our past). Almost any topic can be deep or shallow depending on how you talk about it. Anyways, there are plenty of book clubs, philosophy meetups, and other places where you can go to have more substantial conversations if you want to. But I think if you enter a conversation with an open mind and take an interest in what the other person is interested in, rather than only focusing on what you want to talk about, you might learn something new even from a "small talk" conversation.
Sometimes yes but I don't always have the energy to burn on small talk, the town I've been dealing with is pretty dry. Small town USA honestly sucks to be honest and the next couple rungs on the ladder isn't much better if at all. I am not interested in the big cities for obvious reasons, I just want to escape to somewhere untainted and free spirited.
 

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After living most of my life living in the shadows of those whose social skills eclipsed my own, I decided recently(ish) - in the last couple of years - to stand out of the shadows and be my own weird, idiosyncratic self. I started making the odd observations that I had previously held back, I gave myself the permission to share my thoughts, and I learnt to be myself without apology. The things that I am interested in are generally not all that interesting to the a lot of people. I am into educational theory, history, meteorology, art...but I talk about these things anyway, because when I talk about things with passion, I don't think it particularly matters whether others are interested or not, they tend to want to talk because they become interested. And if they don't, well, that's their problem rather than mine. I also like to make observations about social behaviours and quirks, and this can lead to some quite interesting discussions.

The simple point is that I am not responsible for making decisions about how other people perceive me, I need to give them the information they need to make their own decision. And if they see me as boring or weird that is a reflection of them, not me.
 

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You could find a group on Meetup or find a book club or something. You said groups aren't your thing but groups are an easy way to meet a variety of people. And in groups there are main conversations but sometimes they break up into smaller groups. It could help you to find people to talk to.
 

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You talk about being weird like it's a bad thing. I'm weird, always wanted to be and I was always attracted to other weird people and it worked both ways. I'm that weird brother, co-worker, partner. I make everything weird and put a spin on everything. Recently I overheard a co-workers conversation and one of them asked "What does eccentric mean?" She just pointed at me and said "This guy".

You will always be weird and just accept it and be weird. Many people suffer from loneliness but you still have chance to make friends at school. I don't even know how to make friends, somehow I end up having them without trying. Sometimes you just meet one or two people, turns out that they know few more and you end up knowing quite a lot.

Probably the easiest way to have a conversation is to ask people questions. Where they come from, their family members. How they spend free time or who they want to be when they grow up (my favourite one, especially to ask old people).

Now between work and full time relationship I have no time for friends since I like my alone time too. Brooding mostly.

MBTI wise most of my friends are INxx with one ISTJ.
 

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I would have to say: Just get out there and make mistakes.

Seek people through activities you enjoy. The more you socialize and open up to various people, you will realize everyone is weird in their own way. The ones who decide to judge you negatively for it, you do not need to give them any attention. Turn around and talk to new people. There are always people who will like you for who you are. Build self-esteem through them to practice socializing even more. Feeling comfortable being yourself attracts more people.

Groups are difficult as an introvert. I just tend to stand there. I say a couple of things here and there, comment and compliment. Don't feel the need to be as talkative and at ease as some extroverts. They will do the talking, and you can kind of observe those around you to seek out who you think you can get along. And then talk to a couple of people. There is no fault in that.
 

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how can I find people to talk to about interesting things?
It's hard giving generic advice because only you know what will work for you. So the only advice I can give is go out there and practice, practice, practice (meeting and socializing). Use EVERY public setting as an encounter for meeting new people and think outside the box in this way (I met a great person while buying a soda at a quick mart). Set your pesonal goal at 0% probability to avoid discouragement, but rejoice with every success. Evaluate every encounter after the fact like you're watching the replay of the game in the locker room. Over time you will learn what works and what doesn't. Remember that Edison had nearly 3000 failures before he invented the light bulb.
 

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Joining a club or group that does something that you are interested in. That way it is easier to make small talk or break the ice. If I join a photography club (assuming I am interested in photography) than people at the club will also be interested in photography. It gives me something to talk about right off the bat that I am interested in.
 

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Woo Slovakia! Screw people, get into that incredible wilderness of yours. We had one night camping by Bojnice and it was bliss. Great work there.

Seriously though, when I was working in the world I usually found something to talk about in the newspaper or TV shows. My boss and I would analyse Desperate Housewives the next day after each episode. He was the chief bean counter. It is surprising the things people are into, like accountants will gamble on anything. I have a mental dossier on the people around me so once I know something about them I will refer back to it next time. Like, how was that weekend with your in-laws? Bad as you were expecting? Not names though, because that would be useful hahaha Eventually talking about their lives will come around to something interesting. Unless they like sport. Then you're fucked.

I am self imposed isolated at the moment, it's just too hard because I have a weird diet and I don't like people in my house so the food/booze/reciprocating hospitality thing just doesn't happen. I'm working on it, the termite guy is coming in a couple of weeks so there's that 😃
 

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Join an internet forum that aligns with your hobbies/interests. You'll find a lot of good people to talk to. Watch videos on Youtube that align with your "wierd" quirks --- because all forms of "weirdness" has real world manifestations and there are others that are "weird" just like you --- comment on those videos to get your thoughts out.

Your responsibility to go out there and find your place in the world you know? Sometimes people with similar interests will do meetups that you can then travel to if you like.

In 2013 I was going through an extended period of isolation and I got interested in wrestling again and joined a related forum. Well, now four years later I'm 20k posts in on that forum and it allows me to socialize without ever having to leave the home. I don't just talk about wrestling there. I talk about everything from books, movies, politics, current events etc. In fact, their movie/entertainment and video game sections are more active than the ones I've seen here.

And yes, we also discuss teh "deep and feelasophical" meanings behind the things we watch. Sometimes it seems like a lot of people think that N's on PerC have some sort of monopoly over reeeally, really deeeep thoughts .. but that is obviously not true. Also, if you guys miss these philosophical discussions IRL, create some threads in related sections. Engage.

My extroversion is off the charts and I don't have a single IRL friend (I'm good with my wife) and I have absolutely no signs / hints of depression of any kind. I'm good. There's a HUGE fucking world out there. Finding my place in it is something that comes naturally to me.

Engage. Reap rewards.
 

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I'm bad with my tiny mobile and not much better at the best of times so I couldn't modify my post. I think you should carry a notebook for your story ideas and maybe sneak up on writing by writing a short story one day when you're bored. I know someone who did a writing course online and there was interaction between students. Oh and I feel no need to talk in groups. As soon as there are more than two people I'm out, observer only mode. I think people realise introverts exist now so it's a bit more accepted. I do know a person who prepares a list for group discussions. An example from a few years ago was 9/11 conspiracy theories.
 
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