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How to Spot One of You Guys in a Crowd

27206 Views 79 Replies 61 Participants Last post by  Morn
The title basically says it all.

How can an ENFP like me differentiate one of you guys from the rest? Do you guys typically have a thing you guys do, or something? I've only ever met one INTJ in my life so far (that I know of), and they seem pretty cool.

I guess my question is, in social settings, where can I find you guys? Who do you typically hang out with (personality type wise)? What do you usually talk about? What topics of conversation do you avoid? Are you quiet, or is that just a stereotype?

Any and all thoughts appreciated! :D
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We generally avoid social settings. You're more likely to find us at work or home. On the off chance we are out somewhere, we avoid eye contact and stay on the periphery. We find a safe spot, like against a wall where we can see everything and can't be surprised by someone coming up from behind, and cling to it for dear life. Our answers to questions will be terse, a lot of yes and no answers that signal we are not interested in conversation. The exception is when we are around people we're comfortable with. Then our safe zone increases to include them but not beyond.
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INTJs? In a crowd?
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Try looking not in the crowd.

I am typically doing my own thing with very little interest in joining crowds or groups of people... in fact, joining a 'circle' of people is something I am really bad at and never do.

I typically only talk to max 2 people at a time... any more than that and I'm relegated to silent edge-of-crowd observer, unless they are mostly very close friends.

I usually find a safe spot and watch, or find something to do/help with.

I prefer intellectual conversations or games... I won't play some games just because I think they are silly, but others I will join in with. I also will leave conversations if they get stupid.
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Well, INTJs do not usually hang out in large crowds, and if they actually do, as some of the INTJs mentioned earlier, will stay at the periphery. We generally like to stand from a distance where we can observe happenings. I myself love to do that. It gives me satisfaction being able to understand social interactions between people i know. I assume INTJs don't really like to go out, as I do not go out unless absolutely necessary. We are usually poker faced... Not really adapt with expressions i guess. Lastly, personally I happen to smile in the public sometimes when i notice something funny or weird that I didn't realise all the while. It comes across to my friends as freaky or some sinister plot hatching freak, apparently.
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try to look for people who look like outsiders in the crowd. BINGO!
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Uhh... ways to differentiate INTJs (Or just me in particular, which may apply to other INTJs) from other people:

I'm either glaring or looking like I'm pissed off/sad when I'm not... this usually only happens when I'm not in a conversation with someone.

On days where teachers allow free time, I'm working while everyone else is socializing.

I'll be looking at the crowd.

My great sense of style.

Look for the person who doesn't want to be there.

Look for the person who is just standing in the crowd observing people but not actually participating in it.


I don't really know how else. I haven't been in many crowds in my lifetime, so...
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You usually won't find me in a crowd, but if i am in a crowd, this one pretty much nails it for me:



So actually, I'm pretty easy to spot.
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Ways to spot me in a crowd ? I'm the one staring back at you with piercing eyes until you stare away. Either in front of in the back. I hate blending in the crowd.

I hang mostly at home. You can find me on a soccer field too, or Philosophy club... I don't really go out that much.
I talk about anything: Celebs, fashion, science, sport... If we put a good amount of intuit in the conversation, it gets me going.
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Try looking not in the crowd.

I am typically doing my own thing with very little interest in joining crowds or groups of people... in fact, joining a 'circle' of people is something I am really bad at and never do.

I typically only talk to max 2 people at a time... any more than that and I'm relegated to silent edge-of-crowd observer, unless they are mostly very close friends.
This is very true, do not look in crowds. If there are more than 3 people I cannot do more than add small details to conversations at that point. One or Two people I can control the conversation and will steer it to interesting topics.

Well, INTJs do not usually hang out in large crowds, and if they actually do, as some of the INTJs mentioned earlier, will stay at the periphery. We generally like to stand from a distance where we can observe happenings. I myself love to do that. It gives me satisfaction being able to understand social interactions between people i know. I assume INTJs don't really like to go out, as I do not go out unless absolutely necessary. We are usually poker faced... Not really adapt with expressions i guess. Lastly, personally I happen to smile in the public sometimes when i notice something funny or weird that I didn't realise all the while. It comes across to my friends as freaky or some sinister plot hatching freak, apparently.
The only thing different I have to add to this, is I smile like a giddy schoolgirl listening to people's conversations. They care about such simple odd things and I find it terribly fascinating.

The problem with spotting us; is we don't all act or dress the same. INTJ are the second to last for caring about their appearance, but they understand the value of being presentable. INTJs are likely to dress up nice, but forget to clip their finger nails or comb their hair. If they haven't researched how to make themselves presentable, they will wear practical clothes everywhere.

I used to wear a very light carpenter jean and whatever t-shirt was at the top of my drawer. Now, I have a college jacket that matches my shoe color(The collar also matches my eyes) and some nice dark aeropostale jeans.

Whatever you do don't set yourself too hard on finding an INTJ specifically, I know some pretty terrible INTJs who cannot get their lives figured out. Arrogant, lazy, and negative; find one who is at least willing to develop their Fi and is actively working to better themselves.
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The title basically says it all.

How can an ENFP like me differentiate one of you guys from the rest? Do you guys typically have a thing you guys do, or something? I've only ever met one INTJ in my life so far (that I know of), and they seem pretty cool.

I guess my question is, in social settings, where can I find you guys? Who do you typically hang out with (personality type wise)? What do you usually talk about? What topics of conversation do you avoid? Are you quiet, or is that just a stereotype?

Any and all thoughts appreciated! :D
I tend to be in public locations only briefly and can be identified by the fact that I'm invariably alone and by the INTJ "death stare." I'd imagine other INTJs are similar.

Yeah, crowds are bad.
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You don't. We're not in a crowd.
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Okay so 99.9% of the time if I can avoid being in a crowd, I will.

But assuming it's that 0.01% of the time that I have to be in one:

You will find me looking around very awkwardly, talking to no one. I will probably have some sort of determined look on my face as if I'm trying to think really hard about something or if I'm trying to look for something. Neither will be the case, I will just have that look as a sort of mask for my awkwardness :) It helps me cope.
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How to Spot One of You Guys in a Crowd
I do a lot to fade into the background and avoid any attention or interest from anyone (when shopping, for example). People seem to rely heavily on unconscious instinctive and emotional behaviors when in a crowd. I find it mostly disgusting and pathetic but also a little dangerous. The zombies could mob and lynch at any moment.

I have on occasion recognized others using a similar [avoidance] tactic. So I guess even in this situation it is possible to spot one of us in a crowd.
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I'll be the guy making a beeline out of the crowd, and usually with a scowl on my face.
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They are speed walking through everyone and staring straight ahead, or standing in the back, mentally critiquing whatever the crowd has gathered for. Maybe talking to the one person who will listen to them.
Look for the person fleeing the crowd, frowned face and furrowed eyebrows giving dirty looks.
When I walk in group I'm always in the back to have a better view of my surrounding to protect against attacks and to check the girls asses in front of me obviously. You see a guy talking to a girl, the girl turn her head to the right to check something and the guy watch her boobs immediately, that's me man. That's me :p.

I always try to have a good look of my surrounding, I prefer to be on the side instead of the middle because it's more dangerous in the middle??? I don't know. I'm always going for the best defensive positions even tho nobody attacked me in years lol. (I take a good look to everybody I see, if you're a suicide bomber I'm the first to spot you and run to the exit while I say shit to nobody.)

When I open my mouth to talk there is more often than not a good reason. The things I say are informative or funny. I won't begin to talk about the cat I saw crossing the road in front of me today but if I were to I would say : So today while going to work I saw a cat in the middle of the road. I knew that if I didn't put the brake on that I would run over it so I accelerated to make sure I would kill that motherfucker who was blocking my view of the street. (I always give a crazy reason, because if I don't I'm quite sure they will think I'm serious. And I don't want them to think I'm serious when I'm really serious. I have to hide the fact that I like to run over cats with my car.)

And I wear black clothes often too. But recently I bought more red, it's suppose to look aggressive. Women like that, other men don't like that. I don't really see any difference, I guess that study was bullshit but the color is nice.

I'm like a ninja, when I walk nobody hear me.

I sometimes space out and I begin to smile randomly while people are talking because I've just told myself the best joke of the Universe. Like, it's the story of someone who trained to become an astronaut. After 8 years of training at NASA he finally did it. The give him his first mission that he will accomplished in 1 year. He goes to the bar and when a lady ask him what he does for a living he says "I'm an astronaut and I'm on a mission to Uranus". Bam!! the girl hit the guy in the genitals then walk out of the bar and we see on the TV screen : The astronaut INSERTNAME will go on a mission to Uranus.

We're probably not the only types that space out but when I do I either try to look high away from the eyes of others or on the ground. Before I would just space out wherever my head was looking at that moment then you "WAKE UP" from your mental story and you just understand that you've been looking directly at those boobs for the last 5 minutes and the worst in this is that you're so good at visualizing that you haven't actually seen anything because this introspection shit we do is quite intense. The outside world stops existing when I do this.

I seek interesting people, you'll never find me in a group with someone that played pokemon. If one guy played pokemon, I'm getting the fuck out of there or I'm making sure that others kick him out of the group with manipulation and shit. I mean if the group isn't interesting, I really won't lose my time there. It's much better to be alone. There is nothing wrong in doing things alone. If I don't want to talk I just don't talk and I'll do my independent being with nobody.


Yeah I guess that's it, gonna sleep.
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We generally avoid social settings. You're more likely to find us at work or home. On the off chance we are out somewhere, we avoid eye contact and stay on the periphery. We find a safe spot, like against a wall where we can see everything and can't be surprised by someone coming up from behind, and cling to it for dear life. Our answers to questions will be terse, a lot of yes and no answers that signal we are not interested in conversation. The exception is when we are around people we're comfortable with. Then our safe zone increases to include them but not beyond.
amen brother well said.......what age group are you referring to ? if we are with a group of friend in a public setting then we will be the quiet one, we can be found at lectures, music stores, used book stores and the theater [movies] usually a matinee to avoid crowds and we will be alone. if you should approach us say something witty or inrelligent
Usually when im out and about its because i got dragged there by someone else. So at say a concert im usually there with my brother, or close friend or two. Whom ever I am with is the one that wants to be there so im usually board out of my mind and staring at the ground or not paying attention to what ever is the main focus of the event.

When I go somewhere by myself say somewhere to eat, I choose a spot were I can see everything going on and were im not next to anybody. I scan the area looking for the least populated area and then plant myself in the middle. I like to see everything thats going on kind of a security thing. If someone is going to do something stupid then I want to be the first to know about it. And usually im in a public area to check out chicks, Im a guy, its what we do.
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