[andy969]

You usually won't find me in a crowd, but if i am in a crowd, this one pretty much nails it for me:

So actually, I'm pretty easy to spot.

 

[andy969]

Half of this thread of full of losers who think being anti-social and shy is a shared trait among INTJ's.

I'm not an ENFP and I also think that the one person calling other people losers usually deserves the honor.

I for one am not anti-social. In fact that's one of the misconceptions about INTJs imo. I like (nice) people. I just can't handle them in large groups, what often makes other people think I'm anti-social (or even shy for that matter).

All the INTJ's I know are just the opposite.

Maybe because they aren't INTJs and only think so because they fit the arrogant and intelligent stereotype?

To be honest, I cannot relate to most of the things you wrote. I don't really like eye contact, I don't brag or enjoy attention/admiration, I don't want to get to know only people that are really talented at something.

But then again, people can be very different even if they share the same type. You just shouldn't call different people losers - not very INTJish imo.

 

[andy969]

I think a problem we have here is what you mean by a crowd.

Good point.

Like, at church, the mall, a restaurant, a party, et cetera.

I'd like to elaborate. I don't avoid or feel awkward at all kinds of crowds. But I don't like and avoid crowds that require me to socialise and even enjoy it. I'm not anti-social, but I really don't like socialising in larger groups. This of course includes all kind of parties. Social events at work come to mind for example. I'm the guy that doesn't come at all or will be silently standing at the side (maybe talking to one person at a time). As I said before: It's actually really easy to spot me. I also don't like full (and loud) malls for example. They can really drain me. On the other hand, I like to go to concerts where I'm not forced to interact with lots of people and can just enjoy the music - no serious problems with that kind of crowd for me.

So I really don't avoid all kind of crowds per se. I only avoid crowds where I'm supposed to socialise with many people. If you want to get to know me, please talk to me one-on-one or in really small groups where ideally I already know all the people participating.

Are you quiet, or is that just a stereotype?

Yes, I am. I've always been the quiet guy. I speak very calm, too, and I really hate to raise my voice (can't remember ever doing so). If someone wants to hear what I have to say, I expect them to listen to me and shut up. So do I. So no need to raise my voice from my point of view.