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Discussion Starter #1
As the MBTI's observers class, how can we easily spot the ISTJ/ISFJ's (with whom we supposedly communicate with and would make ideal pairings)?

As I learn more about ennea/mbti, I am more easily able to spot Te (mild OCD, rearranging things, vocal about thought), Ti (fast logical reaction times, adaptability), Ne (future projection and idea vomit), Fe (rescuer and white knights) given enough time and conversation... but struggle with some of the others based purely on conversation, body language, facial expression, tone of voice, etc... I'd prefer to date someone I am naturally compatible with(for a change, lol).

What can I look for which would make an ISTJ or ISFJ obvious to me, as an ESTP?

The several I've known have not been attractive to me at all... what gives?
 

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As the MBTI's observers class, how can we easily spot the ISTJ/ISFJ's (with whom we supposedly communicate with and would make ideal pairings)?

As I learn more about ennea/mbti, I am more easily able to spot Te (mild OCD, rearranging things, vocal about thought), Ti (fast logical reaction times, adaptability), Ne (future projection and idea vomit), Fe (rescuer and white knights) given enough time and conversation... but struggle with some of the others based purely on conversation, body language, facial expression, tone of voice, etc... I'd prefer to date someone I am naturally compatible with(for a change, lol).

What can I look for which would make an ISTJ or ISFJ obvious to me, as an ESTP?

The several I've known have not been attractive to me at all... what gives?
ISTjs are great for friends, my ISFJ appeared extroverted to me because of her secondary cognitive function of Fe but has a tendency to be a little more reserved and easily frustrated due to her troubles of showing and expressing herself.My Fe being tertiary makes the relationship function slightly better as I'm better at showing my emotions, rather than talking about them and she's better vice versa.
 

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Discussion Starter #3 (Edited)
I just watched some youtube videos on ISTJ/ISFJ's females.... i find them to be incredibly easy to understand, but sort of.... simple. I think it comes off as unintelligent or sort of slow...?

After a few more videos... for various reasons, im not attracted sexually at all... I've probably never been with a partner of these types... I feel like the ISTJ's wouldnt know what to do with a boner, while the ISFJ would be annoyingly clingy and emotional.

Hopefully its just these several videos and not all of their type.
 

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I would like to meet an ISTJ or ISFJ also. They are supposedly plentiful in the wild, but I don't seem to meet them. Maybe I should start hanging out at the library. :-/ I tend to attract NF types. Those relationships don't usually work out because of poor communication. My latest relationship with an INFJ male started out very promising but ultimately turned into a nightmare. I think that was partly due to his immaturity/fear/psychological issues in addition to our cognitive functioning differences.
 

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I'm curious where this came from? 'Cause I've never heard that we pair well with these types.
I first read about it here: Natural Type Partners

The theory goes that we are best paired with a partner who shares our dominant function but who use it in a different direction. Therefore, people who are Se dom should look for partners who are Si dom - ISTJs and ISFJs.
 

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Interesting, as Socionics would (i believe) place a greater weight on the introvert/extrovert preference of the function than on their order. E.g. The duality relationship, said to be the best, is the same function preferences in reverse order. On the other hand ISTJ is said to be our contrary relationship, and ISFJ our illusionary - in both cases difficulty in understanding is stressed due to different attitudes toward prefered functions.
 

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I love ISTJs and ISFJs. They're usually quiet, modest people who have very few "wild stories" , always did well in school, pretty responsible, and admire our (ESTPs) spunk and boldness.

With ISTJs, or rather, xSTJs in general, I find that we relate on the not being emotional front. There's no BS with xSTJs, and will say things to your face (which i personally respect) they're very much about taking action like us ESTPs.


These types are not the kind of people that you do anything illegal/"morally wrong" with.
 

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Interesting, as Socionics would (i believe) place a greater weight on the introvert/extrovert preference of the function than on their order.
I'm not sure what you're saying here.
As far as I know, Socionics suggests that communication and understanding is more achievable when the same functions are introverted and extroverted.

Eg. Two types with Se (regardless of position in the stack) would be more suited than two sensing types if one is Se and the other Si (as with ESTP/ISTJ)
 

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As far as I know, Socionics suggests that communication and understanding is more achievable when the same functions are introverted and extroverted.

Eg. Two types with Se (regardless of position in the stack) would be more suited than two sensing types if one is Se and the other Si (as with ESTP/ISTJ)
Oh, okay. Thank you for clarifying. Socionics is interesting. I could see how the duality relationship has the potential to be strong. My mom was an INFJ, I think, and she and I had a close relationship. She helped me where I was weak and I helped her where she was weak.
 

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Discussion Starter #12
Oh, okay. Thank you for clarifying. Socionics is interesting. I could see how the duality relationship has the potential to be strong. My mom was an INFJ, I think, and she and I had a close relationship. She helped me where I was weak and I helped her where she was weak.
i could never be with an INFJ long term... all that sprirituality and un-groundedness... seems to lead to 'head in the clouds' and 'not being realistic' ...

ive got a couple infj friends, we help each other out understanding our inferior functions but... in terms of direction in life, ambitions, and understanding of reality... completely different.

the ESTP will see the INFJ as a child who refuses to grow up and accept reality...

meanwhile, i met an ISTJ female... we click very well.
 

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i could never be with an INFJ long term... all that sprirituality and un-groundedness... seems to lead to 'head in the clouds' and 'not being realistic' ...

ive got a couple infj friends, we help each other out understanding our inferior functions but... in terms of direction in life, ambitions, and understanding of reality... completely different.

the ESTP will see the INFJ as a child who refuses to grow up and accept reality...

meanwhile, i met an ISTJ female... we click very well.
I hear you. My most recent relationship was with an INFJ. It was a disaster - simultaneously the best and worst relationship I've ever had. He is an unhealthy INFJ though. He admits to having psychological and emotional problems stemming from childhood. I think he could do with some counseling. One major problem I had with him was his tendency to get pissy and downright mean if people didn't live up to his expectations of what he thought they should be. He never seemed to be happy or satisfied with anyone, including me. Really got on my nerves.

I've always loved ISTJs. For as plentiful as ISTJ males are supposed to be, I have trouble meeting them IRL. I tend to attract NF males. smh I'm glad you found an ISTJ female that you like. :)
 

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meanwhile, i met an ISTJ female... we click very well.
What do you like about her?

I'm married to a girl I have typed as ISTJ, but sometimes I think I might be wrong.

(My Mom's an INFJ btw and while I love her, I would never be able to be in a long term relationship with someone like her. She's too mystical, too quiet, rigid in her spiritual non-sense and all that emotional drama can get draining sometimes).
 

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I would like to meet an ISTJ or ISFJ also. They are supposedly plentiful in the wild, but I don't seem to meet them. Maybe I should start hanging out at the library. 😕 I tend to attract NF types. Those relationships don't usually work out because of poor communication. My latest relationship with an INFJ male started out very promising but ultimately turned into a nightmare. I think that was partly due to his immaturity/fear/psychological issues in addition to our cognitive functioning differences.
My mom is an ISFJ nurse and a friend of mine is an ISTJ EMT. I believe you’ll find some of them in roles where they’re around people and can help them. Maybe more conventional roles?
My friends dad is an ISFJ and he’s a cop.
Another ISFJ was working in a vet tech but also worked as the office girl at a funeral home.
 

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As I learn more about ennea/mbti, I am more easily able to spot Te (mild OCD, rearranging things, vocal about thought), Ti (fast logical reaction times, adaptability), Ne (future projection and idea vomit), Fe (rescuer and white knights) given enough time and conversation
Hahah the Te thingy fits me.

Ti defined as adaptability though, Jung is turning in his grave now. :kitteh:

(Of course MBTI isn't Jungian anyway.)


...ok, as for OP. How to spot me. :p Watch for the Te just like you described it while the person comes off grounded and aware of the world too, but is reserved, watching more than actively managing people though the latter can also happen, along with just correcting some actions or suddenly throwing in some really opinionated bit. Not too often though, it's with a lot of breaks, or you'd be looking at ExTJ.

As for ISFJ: a lot of it is really similar for ISFJ, except their default facial expression comes off way more mistrustful, but on the other hand they'll look really warm when they feel good about someone. I find ISTJs look more emotionally neutral overall.
 

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Discussion Starter #17
Hahah the Te thingy fits me.

Ti defined as adaptability though, Jung is turning in his grave now. :kitteh:

(Of course MBTI isn't Jungian anyway.)


...ok, as for OP. How to spot me. :p Watch for the Te just like you described it while the person comes off grounded and aware of the world too, but is reserved, watching more than actively managing people though the latter can also happen, along with just correcting some actions or suddenly throwing in some really opinionated bit. Not too often though, it's with a lot of breaks, or you'd be looking at ExTJ.

As for ISFJ: a lot of it is really similar for ISFJ, except their default facial expression comes off way more mistrustful, but on the other hand they'll look really warm when they feel good about someone. I find ISTJs look more emotionally neutral overall.
youre right, if i rewrote that today id put Ti (organization/categorization of perceived data, inductive/irrational reasoning for fast output)
 

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aaaaand ive changed my mind... id be interested in meeting the right INFJ, which i guess would be INFJ/2 if it lines up perfectly.
 

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youre right, if i rewrote that today id put Ti (organization/categorization of perceived data, inductive/irrational reasoning for fast output)
I think that's good yeah. I do organization/categorization of perceived data too so that may be part of Te as well, but the rest I only see in xxTPs yeah, the "inductive/irrational reasoning for fast output" thingy.


aaaaand ive changed my mind... id be interested in meeting the right INFJ, which i guess would be INFJ/2 if it lines up perfectly.
Out of curiosity. What makes you interested in the INFJs? I've had some struggles with them recently but I tend to like them, too.


Istj = workaholic bastards. No emotions; very keen to what they're doing
Isfj = love friends family first. Has emotions
Ahaha, right... OK, the "no emotions" is not literally true but yeah it would look like that a lot. Good to-the-point distinctions there.
 
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