So you wish to learn to start a thread? You have a long and difficult journey ahead of you if you want to attain this mystical power. Are you sure you have what it takes? Pack your bags. You must leave at 4 PM. Why 4 PM, you ask? You will understand one day. Make sure you bring a flashlight and some gloves, and wear black pants and a black and yellow striped shirt. First you need to locate Mount Forum. Just Google it. You shouldn't have any problem finding out where it is. Everyone who can start a thread has made a pilgrimage to this mountain. But this isn't just an ordinary mountain. No, this is a volcano. Here you will be granted the ability to start a thread. But first, you must obtain three sacred items. The first is the Golden Sunflower of Entry. It is hidden somewhere in a field of sunflowers. Once you find it, the path to the next item will appear. But from the moment you touch it, you will be surrounded by hundreds of bees. You have to get past them. That's what those clothes I told you to wear are for. You'll look like a bee, so as long as you move very slowly, you should be able to get past the bees without being stung. The next item you seek is the Electric Beetle of Selection. It's hidden deep within a dark forest, so you'll need your flashlight. It will shock you if you touch it with your bare hands, so you need to use the gloves to carefully take it. A door will appear with a screen asking if you wish to continue. You can select yes to make the door open, or select no to go home. You can never come back. If you ever want to be able to post a thread, you need to select yes. (The only person who has ever learned to post a thread without completing this quest is Clara Oswald, a young woman who used to travel with the Doctor. But she's a special case.) When you walk through this door, you'll find yourself in an empty white room that seems to stretch on forever. Or at least it seems empty. If you look very carefully, you will find what you're looking for: the Silver Clock of Computation. But you must hurry, for as soon as you find the clock, it will begin ticking. Before the time runs out, you must locate a door with an indentation on it the same size and shape as the clock. Place the clock in this indentation and it will calculate the pass code to let you through the door. Go through the door, taking the clock with you, and you'll find yourself in a cave. In the center is a pool of lava, and it's rising. There are three pedestals around the lava pool. You must place each item on the correct pedestal. Once you have completed this task, the lava pool will turn into a fountain. This is Fount Forum. Go bathe in the fountain. An android will appear and introduce himself as the Internet Sage. Looking around, you'll see that the items have all been transformed! The Golden Sunflower of Entry is a wireless keyboard. The Electric Beetle of Selection is a wireless mouse. And the Silver Clock of Computation is an all-in-one desktop computer. The Internet Sage explains that you now possess the magical power, the knowledge, and the technology you need to finally begin starting threads. He shows you to a rainbow. You climb onto the rainbow with your new computer, keyboard, and mouse and wave goodbye to the Internet Sage, and the rainbow carries you home. Learning to reply to a thread is a journey for another day, but I'm sure you can figure it out if you just buy a set of Rory's Story Cubes. After all, that's how I came up with this quest.