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When a new relationship begins, it can be full of fluff and rainbows and all the good things that little boys and little girls dream of, but as time goes on, every relationship will eventually have their own challenges and hurdles that couples need to face together.

Ask any happy couple who have lasted fifty years, ten, or even just one year and they’ll hint at issues that they’ve had to work out together. But how do they do it? How do people make relationships last for decades? To understand that, let’s talk about how to stay happy in a long relationship.

Let’s take a look at some of the most common relationship advice:

Communication Is Key

Relationships are about mutual understanding. Most problems in relationships can often be avoided by talking to your partner as most problems arise from misunderstandings. Talk to your partner about anything and everything.

Having open communication builds trust between you and your partner, and since people can change over the years, keeping your connection with your partner becomes more vital so they can understand any changes going on in your life.

Always Trust and Respect Your Partner

Let’s be real. Love can only get you so far. You can’t just rely on love alone to carry you through decades of hardship. That’s why you need to form mutual trust and respect with your partner, because when love fails, you’ll have something to fall back on. Your relationship won’t become a mess and will continue on ‘til you’ve rediscovered the spark that ignited your love from the start.

Try Something New Together

There are so many things to do in the world that can’t all be done in a single lifetime. Keep your relationship fresh and exciting by trying new things! Don’t let your relationship become stale and boring.

Bring your partner along with you when there’s a new place in town to visit or a new activity to do. Go out of your comfort zone and break away from the usual stuff that you and your partner are used to.

Go watch a bad movie and laugh together about how terrible it is. Travel to a different country and experience a different culture together. Heck, try a new position in bed to keep things interesting. Try anything to keep your relationship working.
Always Look on the Bright Side of Life

Optimism is a great motivator. When you meet dark moments in your relationship, shine some light on it by looking at the upside of what’s happening. It’s no use trying to intensify an issue as that’ll only make it harder for you and your partner.

If there’s nothing you can do about it, look at it from a different perspective and appreciate the good things that came out of it. There’s always something positive about any situation. You just need to look at a problem from a different angle. Blaming your partner will only make it worse.

Even if it’s their fault, try to make fun of it so it’ll be easier for them to make it up to you. Likewise, if you were in the wrong, accept responsibility and look forward to the make-up cuddle the both of you will have while watching a random, forgettable movie on Netflix.

These are just some of the common tips on how to stay happy in a long relationship. What other things do you do to stay happy in a long relationship? Share your thoughts and let’s have a discussion about it. Comment below or message me!
 

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Read academic books about relationships and find out what is likely to happen at each stage in your life (e.g. unemployment, birth of a child, bereavement). --> You will be prepared for challenges and be able to find constructive solutions.

Be prepared to have arguments. At least as long as you argue you're still talking. It's better than stonewalling, growing apart, etc.

If you have disagreements, carefully analyse whether they are just caused by external circumstances (everyday logistics, stress at work, financial situation, etc) or whether they are about the relationship itself (e.g. mismatched attachment styles/ unwillingness to overcome attachment issues).

Keep retelling the story of how you got to know each other so that you'll remember what it felt like when you fell in love.

Sent from my EVA-L09 using Tapatalk
 

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Make sure that you actively do things together as a couple.

This means sex, obviously, but also things like engaging in a common hobby together, or going away on dates or weekends as a couple. I am sure you will have all sorts of ideas about what you might like to do. Even if you both work long hours there is always time to do something. You just need to be highly structured and schedule your day.
 

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It's really helped me to learn how to look at the relationship more like a marathon instead of a sprint. It used to really upset and scare me when I would feel like I didn't want to be around my partner after a disagreement or if I was in a particularly bad mood. Over time I've begun to understand how to just disengage and delve into some kind of activity when I'm annoyed at my husband. Inevitably a few hours later I'll start feeling lovey towards him again. It's just not a big deal.
 

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Interesting. Thanks for starting this. I'll add that at least 15 hours a week of quality time together is a must.

Share in all the work at home.

Don't keep secrets.

Don't share your personal lives with friends. They can help to ruin what you have. See a counselor instead.

Check each others goals once in a while. They change over time.

Make sure you are happy and love yourself, or you can't love your partner.

I don't know. Just some thoughts.
 

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It's really helped me to learn how to look at the relationship more like a marathon instead of a sprint. It used to really upset and scare me when I would feel like I didn't want to be around my partner after a disagreement or if I was in a particularly bad mood. Over time I've begun to understand how to just disengage and delve into some kind of activity when I'm annoyed at my husband. Inevitably a few hours later I'll start feeling lovey towards him again. It's just not a big deal.
I am learning something similar, too. I have a particularly hard time accepting that long term relationships have ups and downs, and I always feel so distressed during a difficult period because in my mind, it'll always be this way, it's a downhill spiral, and it's just going to be terrible from here on out. It's like my mind can't comprehend the fact that things CAN get better. I'm slowly (and painfully) teaching myself to realize that relationships are dynamic, and have normal ebbs and flows. Acceptance of that process will only make it easier.
 

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Yesss and be realistic and just love your partner the way he is.. It's just fucking easy

What's hard is when we decided to be selfish and that would end the relationship
 

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Adding: Give each other own time and own space too.
 
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