Personality Cafe banner

21 - 40 of 42 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
396 Posts
Discussion Starter #21
Talk 'with', not 'to' for starters...
Well, this is something I don't realize enough in any conversation. That would be the idea of a two way conversation right? While it's not a new concept to me my mind draws a blank when trying to relate talk with to actual conversation.
 

·
黐線 ~Chiseen~
Joined
·
5,240 Posts
Then punch them in the balls.

This reminds me of the endscene in Machete Kills, where Amber Heard laughs and says “You can't surprise pussy punch someone!”
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
69 Posts
- be Direct
- make sure whatever you say you actually mean it so when intp still thinks and analyzes you figures out that's what you were really talking about !!
- hold your pants and know intp's brain is always overloaded with thoughts so it might take some time till some point is fully understood
- really bad at sensing the emotions of other persons ( at least in my case not sure about other ) and might say something to put gasoline on fire without even relishing
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,199 Posts
^Now I'm debating whether I should have posted this in the INFJ board. Thanks for the advice. Could start off by talking about use and implication of small talk. Someone started that conversation with me once and it was interesting.



As funy as that was the "be yourself" get's me. Since at face value it disregards any self improvement that may be needed. For me I need to improve social skills especially since I don't meet people, people meet me; as I didn't have control over the meeting. So when it comes to getting to know someone by my own choice it's hard. I thought since this girl is an INTP I could ask for advice from other like minded people.

P.S. if I colored my teeth purple would I be allowed to show them.
Coloring your teeth purple will have the opposite effect as it will distract her. Of course, if distracting her is your intention so that knock her over the head with a sock full of win so that you can drag her back to her cave, then you, my friend, have succeeded.

I can't speak for the females of the INTP species, but as far as I know, INTPs don't care for small talk. If you open with such, you are likely to receive one word answers to discourage asking such questions. INTPs like "what if" questions. Ie what would happen if our moon's core was made out of marshmallows and it spontaneously combusted?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
396 Posts
Discussion Starter #25
Coloring your teeth purple will have the opposite effect as it will distract her. Of course, if distracting her is your intention so that knock her over the head with a sock full of win so that you can drag her back to her cave, then you, my friend, have succeeded.

I can't speak for the females of the INTP species, but as far as I know, INTPs don't care for small talk. If you open with such, you are likely to receive one word answers to discourage asking such questions. INTPs like "what if" questions. Ie what would happen if our moon's core was made out of marshmallows and it spontaneously combusted?
S'mores for everyone! And thanks for the advice. I'm getting the idea to stick with questions that take thought and have a lot of possibility behind them, less concrete.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
6,247 Posts
Charles
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,535 Posts
Ha, kind of funny. Was kind of thinking I was going to source though, since I was trying to talk to an INTP. Don't you guys know how you want to be talked to? Or do you not want to be talked to?
I love good conversation but I'm limited on what I can, and want to talk about. I think the most important thing is to gain my trust, in other words are you genuinely interested in me and what I have to say, or are you just trying to make conversation. I can usually tell the difference, a person that is genuinely interested will continue to ask questions as I talk and make me feel comfortable. What you get out of an INTP is what you put into it. I'm going to distrust you until you prove yourself worthy. We're quite the fragile creature underneath the armor, so lowering the force shields does not come easy.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
68 Posts
So what constitutes 'small talk'?

So far I've managed to avoid texting 'what's up?' or 'what are you doing?' but our conversations usually tend towards the inane.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
98 Posts
Small talk is not thaaaaat bad, but if someone just managed to jump into a super interesting conversation it's like great yay! Well, I mean the problem with small talk is that small talk topics dry up fast, and if no possible leads for other topics pop up then you can get some awkward well.............now what moment. That is just small talk generally though, with new people it can be hard because you have no idea about what they think about topics etc.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
1,520 Posts
Just be yourself. How the bloody hell am I meant to learn everything there is to know about human nature and the universe when all of these people are misleading me about their nature by talking to me in a specific way that will impress me, rather than just acting like how they normally act?
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
4,124 Posts
Just be yourself. How the bloody hell am I meant to learn everything there is to know about human nature and the universe when all of these people are misleading me about their nature by talking to me in a specific way that will impress me, rather than just acting like how they normally act?
This comment is beautiful and I cannot thank it enough.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Velasquez

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,071 Posts
Just be yourself. How the bloody hell am I meant to learn everything there is to know about human nature and the universe when all of these people are misleading me about their nature by talking to me in a specific way that will impress me, rather than just acting like how they normally act?
But what if it's in my nature to mislead people by talking to them in a way that I think will impress them?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,233 Posts
With me, you just have to be yourself... There is familiarity in most things once you are exposed to them, and with that familiarity you can often times find a way to communicate. There is always a form of connection with everyone, be it big or small... I just work with what I've got... If you really wanted to interest me, as an intp, you would first start off with funny, little lighthearted things to bring out some form of positive emotion, then you would say something interesting to get my attention. Then you would say another thing about that thing that gets me thinking. It could be anything, just give me your thought and usually that is enough for me to start talking to you about it. I don't know how all intps are, as I feel even though our internal structure is very similar, we are obviously completely different people, with different genes, environmental backgrounds, and brain chemistry. I don't there is one size fits all, but perhaps with enough of us giving our opinion you could derive some sort of pattern from it and apply it to your friend. I feel like that would be hard, though.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,157 Posts
I recommend opening your mouth and speaking a language they're fluent in. Try Klingon.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1 Posts
Yes, you have it wired.
For a greeting, a simple "Hi" is all that is necessary or appropriate. The best way to start a conversation with me is to directly ask for an explanation or opinion about something that I know something about. If you don't know what I might be interested in, then a "What do you know about ... [topic]...?" will often work. If I don't know about that specific topic, it gives me the opportunity to switch to something related. Attempts to lead with "small talk" will make me super uncomfortable and want to turn around and leave at the earliest opportunity.
And you literally took the words right out of my mouth with: "Yeah, most people believe X, but then most people are stupid. ..."
 

·
Registered
INTP
Joined
·
3,848 Posts
Re small talk: "How are you doing" is okay because it opens the door to many possibilities--what happened, how you feel, why you feel that way, generalizations/opinions about such events....

Normal personal questions are annoying. For example, "Where are you from?" I'm from a place. So are thousands or millions of other people. What does that have to do with anything? "Do you have any brothers or sisters?" Yes. (Or No.) What does that have to do with anything? Why do you want to know anyway?

It's not that I'll never discuss these things, but they need to be placed in an interesting context, e.g., " ... Maybe it's because I'm the middle child in my family. Do you know anything about birth order and personality?" Or, "I'm interested in linguistics, and accents in particular. I'm guessing you're from the west coast."
 
21 - 40 of 42 Posts
Top