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How would you describe being an INFJ?
Do you believe it's one of the "rare types"?
Do you believe it's one of the "rare types"?
How would you describe being an INFJ?
[INFJ]
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Living between daydreaming and the exhausting real world, trying to make sense out of it but ultimately ending up more confused, being nice and trying to improve the world but slowly having to realize it's probably too late despite actually being a optimist, having to interact with people that you don't know, knowing that you never will because you're too different from eachother and feeling like walking on a tightrope all your life.
Honestly, I don't think INFJ's are that uncommon and that it's just difficult to type. There are a lot of overlaps between INFJ, INTP, INFP, INTJ which can be confusing. I think a lot of INFJ's mistype while others mistype as INFJ, so who knows, but I think it's definitely more than 1% of the population as some sites claim.
Honestly, I don't think INFJ's are that uncommon and that it's just difficult to type. There are a lot of overlaps between INFJ, INTP, INFP, INTJ which can be confusing. I think a lot of INFJ's mistype while others mistype as INFJ, so who knows, but I think it's definitely more than 1% of the population as some sites claim.
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A stranger in a strange land. Though rare, I've never thought of myself as special or a snowflake. I've read that people think we are SJWs, but I find SJWs to be complete frauds lacking empathy for the people they victimize in their lopsided schemes. If anything, I try to present myself as normal and conventional to fit in and avoid scrutiny. I fly below most people's radar, and only a select few people really know me.
Edit: I think being a rare type makes people on sites like this want to identify themselves as INFJ. I wonder if most of them have actually tested that way, or if they just read a description and thought it sounded cool. I can assure other types that being INFJ is no picnic. I wouldn't recommend it. However, I also think that many INFPs, especially the angry and orderly ones, are actually INFJs.
Edit: I think being a rare type makes people on sites like this want to identify themselves as INFJ. I wonder if most of them have actually tested that way, or if they just read a description and thought it sounded cool. I can assure other types that being INFJ is no picnic. I wouldn't recommend it. However, I also think that many INFPs, especially the angry and orderly ones, are actually INFJs.
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I also wonder how rare is INFJ if so many are claiming to be one. :laughing:
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An overly complicated manner of existence.
The way in which I have always fundamentally perceived the world and interacted with my environments has remained consistent.
For the day to day I find that most other people I know and have interacted with have a far easier time. So I often struggle with things but keep it under wraps.
I sometimes fantasize about having a different personality altogether and wonder if that might make certain things in life far easier. But honestly I wouldn't know any other way of existence.
Suffice it to say the regular way life is structured and lived in the modern age is quite contrary to how I would want to exist.
I also find myself always having difficulty with relating to people and I find people look up to me for a varied host of characteristics that I have cultivated into my personality and that tends to create an even further divide that I am not a fan of.
I'm not a huge fan but its the hand I've been dealt and I try to make the best of it.
On a large scale it is definitely rare. I have yet to come across another though I'm fairly sure I know of a few who hide it well.
The way in which I have always fundamentally perceived the world and interacted with my environments has remained consistent.
For the day to day I find that most other people I know and have interacted with have a far easier time. So I often struggle with things but keep it under wraps.
I sometimes fantasize about having a different personality altogether and wonder if that might make certain things in life far easier. But honestly I wouldn't know any other way of existence.
Suffice it to say the regular way life is structured and lived in the modern age is quite contrary to how I would want to exist.
I also find myself always having difficulty with relating to people and I find people look up to me for a varied host of characteristics that I have cultivated into my personality and that tends to create an even further divide that I am not a fan of.
I'm not a huge fan but its the hand I've been dealt and I try to make the best of it.
On a large scale it is definitely rare. I have yet to come across another though I'm fairly sure I know of a few who hide it well.
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Imagine living in a swamp that freezes every night, and you must go out and hunt alligators under the ice using a hand trowel and a pair of scissors. Then, after you've got your gator, you have to find a way to skin it while arguing politics with it.
It's nothing like any of that, but it's also just like that.
Also, I don't buy into the rarity thing at all. Being uncommon doesn't mean that they aren't out there, just that they either aren't noticeable or don't care to engage in the whole personality theory side of existence. I do however think that there's a lot of mistyping of INFJs out there in MBTI Land, but I also tend to think that there's a lot of mistyping going on in general.
It's nothing like any of that, but it's also just like that.
Also, I don't buy into the rarity thing at all. Being uncommon doesn't mean that they aren't out there, just that they either aren't noticeable or don't care to engage in the whole personality theory side of existence. I do however think that there's a lot of mistyping of INFJs out there in MBTI Land, but I also tend to think that there's a lot of mistyping going on in general.
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There are two factors at play:
1. Everybody sees the INFJ description and the "feeling misunderstood" part and "special" and it is easy to "identify as INFJ". It's a fashionable item. It's an easy fix for anyone that doesn't want to search into the reasons of why they are having a difficult time being understood or perhaps changing their ways or perceptions. Pick INFJ, if you are feeling misunderstood, easy fix. Fixing your shortcoming is hard, and nobody has time for that, that would take away from Facebook and Snapchat time. By the way, you can quickly remove from the list of INFJ anybody with Snapchat that is active daily, because that does not look like high Ni, low Se at all.
2. INFJs tend to flock to internet forums. It only creates the illusion that there are many. How many do you know in real life? I only know one. Not to mention that actual INFJs count, not the self-titled INFJs. To tell you the truth, I am not absolutely convinced that INFJ is an INFJ. The only one that has been tested and retested is myself. So, I only know one INFJ IRL, myself. It could be possible that some cultures have more or less than them. I can imagine the US having more of them than... North Korea for example. The environment plays a factor too.
I am not convinced INFJs are not the rarest. I read somewhere that 0.5% of the population are INFJ males. That is a very low number indeed. I can't find the stupid article.
It doesn't matter that much anyways.
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A lot of teens/young adults I know feel misunderstood. This "uniquely me" concept is so attractive everyone wants to be different but actually when you line them all up, they're all uniquely the same. *bubble burst*
I live in SE Asia and where I'm from I don't meet many people who know their MBTI type. Even if they do, we don't discuss it as it isn't a big thing here. But here on this forum everyone seems to know the MBTI types of everyone around them, it amazes me. Are these people all tested? I learned from a MBTI Consultant that people can easily mistype themselves if they don't know how to do the test correctly, so I'm not surprised many people are so.
I know 2 other INFJs IRL. Why do you think US have more % of INFJs? What about the environment there that creates INFJs? And can type be created by environment? I doubt so.
Also a side note: I disagree with people who suggest that INFJs stay at home most of the time and surf the internet with little to no real-life friends. Gross misrepresentation as it makes INFJs out to be socially awkward recluse. We like our safe haven but we don't hang on to it like a crutch.
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I do think that asians are more work focused and less into interpersonal stuff. It could be culture influencing them, it could be genetics influencing culture, it could be both influencing each other.
Abundance of resources and possibly some parental neglect / trauma? I know, this sounds like INFJs are faulty, which in a way it is, if you think about it. Almost all INFJs have some sort of abandonment issue, or some responsibility issue. I see it in many ways, all sorts of phobias, mental disorders, fear of commitment, not wanting to have children, all of which overwrite the genetic programming of people that say they must eat, grow, socialize, have children, nurture. Yet, with most INFJs I see an adversity to that. Sure, you can make the case that there are other types that experience this, but you never see it with other FJs. ENFJs, ISFJs, ENFJs, seem to want to have children, yet the INFJs I see, certainly on the specific forums don't really feel they're up to it. They are often single and experience some sort of difficulty that reshapes the way they live their life.
I'm not the one to say how people should live their lives, but it does seem to me, from a logical, pragmatic point of view, that people would in general, want children? I mean, without this drive, we wouldn't be the most successful species. I am curious on how the percentages of personalities have changed over time. Which type was more numerous, which one was rare, how the dynamics changed.
I think most INFJs never really fit anywhere. I will only apologize once for this, but I just think INFJs are so rare because they are mostly unsuccessful as a "species". Look at the most common type out there, the ISFJ, it is very nurturing and conservative. It has a purpose, it is skilled in taking care of others, they are not too focused on risks. Does anyone have any doubts why this type is everywhere? By comparison, the INFJ is the rarest. I know, we have great insight and stuff, but the problem is most don't ever get to use it. Most INFJs I see are stuck in fantasy land. They constantly envision utopias but they never seem to start with themselves. Too focused on fixing the world around them, not really interested in the reasons why it is "broken" in the first place. They live their lives a slave to Fe, a function that they are not that good at, yet they live like it is their most important goal.
No matter how much an INFJ gets our of the house, it counts for nothing, it matters how much they get out of their own heads. And from what I saw on the internet, they rarely do. Speak to an INFJ of the pragmatism of things and they will frown at you as if you're the enemy. The internet is full of INFJs talking about issues that only require some sort of toughening up a bit instead of taking pills. For me, being an INFJ feels more like a cocoon from which you need to escape rather than something to live in. I am not Neo, but I have seen the machines and I am not going back to being a battery.
If there was a group of INFJs, and I've be part of it, I'd probably be cast out very fast. While I would like to keep things polite, I wouldn't have a problem offending when there is a need to offend, saying it rough, when the truth requires it, criticizing when there is a need to criticize. I am not one with the hive mind. And it allows me to see the sun rays again. Living under the "protect everybody's feelings and walk in their shoes" mindset was one of the darkest times, especially as a child. Everybody can take care of their own feelings. This has been the most liberating thing I have learned back when I did therapy. When you leave everybody manage their own feelings (with the exception of family or very close friends that actually ask for your help) you essentially enforce freedom. And freedom is the best medicine of the mind. Never sacrifice truth for group integrity, because you only end up with a group bound together by lies, nothing ever improves when relationships are built on comfortable lies.
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I'd describe it as the feeling of holding the solution to an issue that no one wants to solve. We can do and see what others can't, but the catch is that it is not always wanted or necessary. It's all contradictions. Detached but caring. Individualistic yet a people pleaser.
I don't see the need for the skepticism towards INFJs being rare. There are types who might romanticise this idea, but it feels like a trivialisation that it makes more difficult for the people who are genuinely different/misunderstood to be taken seriously. It is not a glamorous life. I would have thought the drawbacks would be obvious.
Being the rarest type among 16 types overall is not a dramatic statistic. The more common types still only account for roughly 10% or so of the pie. I also don't think 1% is always as mythically small as it sounds when we consider the thousands of people we encounter. Finding an INFJ simply means knowing where to look.
I don't see the need for the skepticism towards INFJs being rare. There are types who might romanticise this idea, but it feels like a trivialisation that it makes more difficult for the people who are genuinely different/misunderstood to be taken seriously. It is not a glamorous life. I would have thought the drawbacks would be obvious.
Being the rarest type among 16 types overall is not a dramatic statistic. The more common types still only account for roughly 10% or so of the pie. I also don't think 1% is always as mythically small as it sounds when we consider the thousands of people we encounter. Finding an INFJ simply means knowing where to look.
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I'm not sure fear of commitment is a INFJ nature. I also don't think trauma creates INFJs. I need more convincing on that. But I admit that I think about marriage and kids much later in life than my friends. When I was younger, I didn't think they were important part of my life, or even necessary.
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First of, words if wisdom. In my opinion, atleast.
Then and I'll say this again, I really don't think you're a unique INFJ at all. If anything, you grew up in a environment damaging to your INFJ qualities. I think you severely overestimate the amount of Fe- discretion INFJ's have and underestimate the impact of Ni/Ti. INFJ's build their own opinions and their own right and wrongs, which sometimes just happens to conform - instead of forming them to conform. We are intellectuals, just because we're INF instead of INT doesn't mean we're a slave to our emotions or anything - the opposite, in fact.
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Plato was supposedly an INFJ, and his Allegory of the Cave sums up the INFJ experience pretty well. Maybe all Ns can relate.
Picture prisoners in a cave who are confined in chairs so that they can only see shadows on the cave wall. These prisoners are the shallow sensors who dominate society. They have no awareness of the source of the light that creates the shadows, nor of the nature of the reality that surrounds them. They have become highly skilled at living in darkness, and they spend their days identifying shadows and discussing them in great detail among themselves. One prisoner escapes his chair and exits the cave. He learns the source of the light and the true nature of all that surrounds the cave. Now enlightened, he returns to inform the prisoners, but he is ridiculed and scorned. He has lost his night vision, and he no longer has skills at identifying shadows. He can no longer engage in small talk about the shadows, and he has lost touch with the petty miseries of man. This is the plight of the INFJ, and it explains why we are so guarded and private.
Picture prisoners in a cave who are confined in chairs so that they can only see shadows on the cave wall. These prisoners are the shallow sensors who dominate society. They have no awareness of the source of the light that creates the shadows, nor of the nature of the reality that surrounds them. They have become highly skilled at living in darkness, and they spend their days identifying shadows and discussing them in great detail among themselves. One prisoner escapes his chair and exits the cave. He learns the source of the light and the true nature of all that surrounds the cave. Now enlightened, he returns to inform the prisoners, but he is ridiculed and scorned. He has lost his night vision, and he no longer has skills at identifying shadows. He can no longer engage in small talk about the shadows, and he has lost touch with the petty miseries of man. This is the plight of the INFJ, and it explains why we are so guarded and private.
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It's hard to live in the "real world", I often feel unsatisfied with my life situation and feel like I should be doing more. I feel that I understand lots of things on a deep level but also there are things about everyday life and interaction that confuse me. Why do people ask other how they are doing if they don't care? Why do people just give up on their dreams and do what they "are supposed to do" in life? Why do we have such a lack of empathy towards each other?
I've suffered from depression and anxiety over my life and the world ever since I was 14. I am jealous of my ESTP and ENFP friends who seem to find life so easy and enjoyable. I find life hard and cruel and hate being this sensitive to everything. I agree with people posting here, being an INFJ is often glamorized as this "really cool mysterious artsy philosophy type", but that's just a rare group of INFJs who are in a healthy state. I would guess that most INFJs struggle to find balance and peace and their place in this world way more than most other types. I have not had the happiest life dealing with my inner demons and oversensitive ways.
I've suffered from depression and anxiety over my life and the world ever since I was 14. I am jealous of my ESTP and ENFP friends who seem to find life so easy and enjoyable. I find life hard and cruel and hate being this sensitive to everything. I agree with people posting here, being an INFJ is often glamorized as this "really cool mysterious artsy philosophy type", but that's just a rare group of INFJs who are in a healthy state. I would guess that most INFJs struggle to find balance and peace and their place in this world way more than most other types. I have not had the happiest life dealing with my inner demons and oversensitive ways.
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I can relate to this very much. I've been in a weird phase in my life where I've been "trying on" personalities since my normal self hasn't made me very happy throughout my life. Ever since starting college I've hung out with a bunch of ESXP, ENFP and ISXP types and I've created this facade of me being this outgoing, bubbly, super chill yolo person and the shocking thing is people actually believe me
The problem is I can't keep it up for long periods of time, I need to be alone and think about things and I find the idea of a sudden weekend trip out of town without planning very stressful. I'm also lacking the certain type of conversation that I can only get out of certain people in the late hours of night if they are feeling a philosophical mood. I crave that and I feel that people are getting tired of talking about things when I haven't even really gotten started over-analyzing yet
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Do you think Kenshin Himura (your avatar) is an INFJ? Do you relate to him?
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I tried that in high school. ESTJ was my facade of choice. Got me through some troubling moments where I needed to be authoritative and in a leadership like role.I can relate to this very much. I've been in a weird phase in my life where I've been "trying on" personalities since my normal self hasn't made me very happy throughout my life. Ever since starting college I've hung out with a bunch of ESXP, ENFP and ISXP types and I've created this facade of me being this outgoing, bubbly, super chill yolo person and the shocking thing is people actually believe me
The problem is I can't keep it up for long periods of time, I need to be alone and think about things and I find the idea of a sudden weekend trip out of town without planning very stressful. I'm also lacking the certain type of conversation that I can only get out of certain people in the late hours of night if they are feeling a philosophical mood. I crave that and I feel that people are getting tired of talking about things when I haven't even really gotten started over-analyzing yet
It drained me quite heavily though, and also brought a more abrasive side to my personality that I didn't quite enjoy.
It doesn't last. The bubbly side I have tried too and eventually I succumb to solitude needing that deep conversation with someone close.
I find that I can put on various masks because they tie into the smaller aspects of personality but the core remains unseen and when it also becomes unexpressed that is when it fails.
You know funnily enough before I learned about personality types I used to always relate to Kenshin. At least the non battousai the slasher part.
I find that just the way he is portrayed he very much could be an INFJ with a fully realized, accepted and embraced shadow side. Especially considering how he interacts with the world and how he forms relationships.
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It’s a curse and a blessing being an INFJ.
I don’t really know how rare they are statistically, but I never met one in real life. So they’re rare to me.
I don’t really know how rare they are statistically, but I never met one in real life. So they’re rare to me.
One thing I can say about being an INFJ, is that, even as I try to live my life honestly, I can still be caught up in some irrational belief. I would have to reflect and see how the situation really is; make time getting the facts right. That is probably why most would say it is hard living as an INFJ, because of how 'un-linearly' we experience the world; Imagine having a natural process of "Searching" throughout your life, for something beyond what you see. If we are not using that "Searching" on some project, we can endlessly contemplate about life, and so I would say a big trait of mine is how 'unsocially' deep my thinking is, how many miles I've ran through my mind without any 'social' reciprocation of the effort.
As an INFJ, one of the biggest lessons I had to learn was to not live my life aligned to ignorance. Other's ignorance, and my own ignorance. I have to change my lifestyle in order for me to be happy, and without my critical thinking about my life - having my mind on auto-pilot and simply 'socially' reciprocating with the world, I would probably be in a routine that never serves the greater need inside me, and be depressed or something. Lose myself (forgotten, but never lost entirely). And there you go, maybe this is another irrational belief of mine as well.
It can be hard being an INFJ, but that is just letters. Sometimes I say to myself, INFJs are the most human type. We can have inflated egos and give out BS theories via emotion>thinking, but its simply a common fallacy of humankind; we just need to accept our way, though we strive for beautiful things that boon society's growth. There are many kinds of INFJs, that you could say have various inbuilt services for society, and though there are some uniting factors, our righteous paths are as unique as the humans we are. It helps to simply see myself as a big human being (having MBTI etched into my mind).
Well, in my life I've probably known a handful of INFJ males (no idea about the females). I'd would personally say we are sort of rare.
As an INFJ, one of the biggest lessons I had to learn was to not live my life aligned to ignorance. Other's ignorance, and my own ignorance. I have to change my lifestyle in order for me to be happy, and without my critical thinking about my life - having my mind on auto-pilot and simply 'socially' reciprocating with the world, I would probably be in a routine that never serves the greater need inside me, and be depressed or something. Lose myself (forgotten, but never lost entirely). And there you go, maybe this is another irrational belief of mine as well.
It can be hard being an INFJ, but that is just letters. Sometimes I say to myself, INFJs are the most human type. We can have inflated egos and give out BS theories via emotion>thinking, but its simply a common fallacy of humankind; we just need to accept our way, though we strive for beautiful things that boon society's growth. There are many kinds of INFJs, that you could say have various inbuilt services for society, and though there are some uniting factors, our righteous paths are as unique as the humans we are. It helps to simply see myself as a big human being (having MBTI etched into my mind).
Well, in my life I've probably known a handful of INFJ males (no idea about the females). I'd would personally say we are sort of rare.
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