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I can relate to this very much. I've been in a weird phase in my life where I've been "trying on" personalities since my normal self hasn't made me very happy throughout my life. Ever since starting college I've hung out with a bunch of ESXP, ENFP and ISXP types and I've created this facade of me being this outgoing, bubbly, super chill yolo person and the shocking thing is people actually believe me :D

The problem is I can't keep it up for long periods of time, I need to be alone and think about things and I find the idea of a sudden weekend trip out of town without planning very stressful. I'm also lacking the certain type of conversation that I can only get out of certain people in the late hours of night if they are feeling a philosophical mood. I crave that and I feel that people are getting tired of talking about things when I haven't even really gotten started over-analyzing yet :p
I can totally understand what you're experiencing but my advice is don't try to be someone you're not because you'll only feel drained and dissatisfied. The art is to learn their good traits, not try to emulate them. I personally find that sensors and extroverts get me going and expose me to healthy Se (which seriously we INFJs need!). INFJs keep discussing our inferior Se but we should not leave it undeveloped just because it's inferior. It's a conscientious effort and doesn't happen overnight but it's rewarding. It got me to be more spontaneous, enjoy the moment and just learn to live life, not in my mind all the time. If you use Fe too much you become overly emotional; if you use Ti too much you can become overly critical and can drive you crazy; if you use Se too much you can become an addict. Everything is about balance.

And that's where I come to my next point - INFJs need to learn when to stop. Each time you feel that you're using a function too much, stop and switch mode. You mentioned you can't keep up for long periods of time but are you supposed to keep up with the sensors? That's why I say don't try to emulate them. When you feel you've had enough, just tell them you need a break and go to your quiet haven. When you're recharged, emerge again. That's how you can get healthy doses of your functions without burning out.

You're not gonna find many people who can discuss philosophical qns with + INFJs can really bolt qns out of nowhere and catch everyone by surprise. My friends often tell me I think of weird things so I've grown accustomed to weird stares. That's not to say we're all alone in our own universe. I've found people who appreciate our quirkiness.
 

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There's times where I feel a bit lost and sometimes I don't understand certain people and have a hard time relating to people. I'll ask them a question and I'll understand their meaning behind it. When they ask me how I feel about it I usually find myself getting lost inside my own mind and tell them on how I see the situation or how I feel about it and they always look at me as if I'm really odd or that I don't come from this planet. It's very tiring and frustrating at times because I've had times where the person wasn't happy with my answer and they needed more calcification on the matter. In the end I just end up daydreaming and zoning out into my world. Once I started laughing and they got annoyed how I was drifting off again. If something becomes too much for me or if the person is angry or pissed off I take a step back from them for a bit.

In the past I used to have a hard time speaking up or even expressing myself. Now I think it's good to set boundaries for people and let them know when their crossing them. Each person thinks differently and if someone doesn't agree with me, I don't argue with them. This is something I had a hard time doing because I was afraid I'd look mean or as if I didn't care. Now I make sure they know without becoming aggressive.

There's been many many times where people tell me, "You're weird!" "Omg! Are you an alien?" Now I simply just laugh and say "Thank you." I try not to get offended by it anymore.
 

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How would you describe being an INFJ?
I don't feel like my life has been any harder simply because I'm an INFJ. If anything, it's probably made it easier in some ways because the Ni answers I get when struggling or just alone, excite me and comfort me. It's not that I haven't seen hard times, it's just that any time I did - I held another thing responsible for it - such as my own personal issues which I make an effort to work through or circumstances out of my control. But that's life and I believe I signed up for it in the first place. There's something to be learned from any situation I find myself in. I don't see myself as a victim. You're more likely to get a more colorful response from me if you ask, "How would you describe being Vivid Melody?" Lol, makes me think of that movie, Being John Malkovich.

Do you believe it's one of the "rare types"?
Supposedly, but as someone else already pointed out, that's still a lot of people. And anyway, why does it matter? I'm kind of tired of talking about rarity, to be honest. It doesn't make me some how more special than other people. Everyone is special. Lol, now I sound like Barney!
 

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I'll paraphrase the words of The OA, who summed up the INFJs existential predicament. Underneath it all, in the background they look as if they are in a perpetual state of trying to cross a border that is hard to define. They see fates in the minds eye and know how to facilitate a meeting. A micro expression that ive found common among the ones i'm close to is a mixture between looking confused and spaced out. That unexpected knock at the door face. But the real knock at the door is when they're reminded that they're still in this reality. I can really take this far, you guys are annoyingly interesting. Its difficult to ignore the particular details, and y'all have many.

As for an INFJ being rare that could be true. However not true in my personal experience. I believe there is always a reason why we meet certain people. Some people are asked to meet their fullest potential in this life to ensure good harvest. Like all dispositions though i think all types have had their role to play in the cycles of the past, some types more prominent than others in order to arrive at this moment. I feel the procession in this cycle is like the INFJs 'finest hour' opportunity in context of worldly affairs. There is something currently in the air that is conductive to NF's. The climate is correct to realise a new world. I find further confirmation in the vedic scriptures, we are fast approaching the thick of kali yuga that will later find its way in the age of satya yuga.
 

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Discussion Starter #26
... But here on this forum everyone seems to know the MBTI types of everyone around them, it amazes me. Are these people all tested? I learned from a MBTI Consultant that people can easily mistype themselves if they don't know how to do the test correctly, so I'm not surprised many people are so.
Imo, it is not necessary for people to 'take the test correctly'. I think one only needs to educate himself about the foundation of the system or the jungian cognitive functions and then use these labels to describe behaviors around them but also this is the issue with all personality theories in general- it's all social (or mental) concepts.
 

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I can't really say I am much different from anyone else or type although being a bit effeminate,Intersex and more :tongue: made my life a bit complicated yet entertaining.
 

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Imo, it is not necessary for people to 'take the test correctly'. I think one only needs to educate himself about the foundation of the system or the jungian cognitive functions and then use these labels to describe behaviors around them but also this is the issue with all personality theories in general- it's all social (or mental) concepts.
Yes and no, unless you're very well-versed in the respective cognitive functions and understand very well the person you're typing. For e.g., I repeatedly meet people who laugh when I told them I'm an introvert, because they don't know the real me. You can do the test and further read up on the cognitive functions to verify the test result. The problem is some people choose the answers they prefer rather than what they really are - that's what I mean by not doing the test correctly.
 

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Discussion Starter #31
Yes and no, unless you're very well-versed in the respective cognitive functions and understand very well the person you're typing. For e.g., I repeatedly meet people who laugh when I told them I'm an introvert, because they don't know the real me. You can do the test and further read up on the cognitive functions to verify the test result. The problem is some people choose the answers they prefer rather than what they really are - that's what I mean by not doing the test correctly.
This is true but for the most part like 90% of the online tests are dichotomy based and so are very very misleading. of course one can argue the dichotomies are more reliable than the study of the cognitive functions...but last time i checked the letters/dichotomies are worked around the functions, not the other way around so it should have been that way.

what do you think?
 

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This is true but for the most part like 90% of the online tests are dichotomy based and so are very very misleading. of course one can argue the dichotomies are more reliable than the study of the cognitive functions...but last time i checked the letters/dichotomies are worked around the functions, not the other way around so it should have been that way.

what do you think?
I think we're going off-track... My original comment was referring to people who are typing others, not themselves. Are they (1) well-versed with all the cognitive functions? (2) understand the people they're typing? My argument was not to do one or the other (test or simply read up the cognitive functions). I suggested doing both.

I asked the qn above because I see a lot of people typing people in their lives. One called out a classmate's type but went on to say he doesn't know him well at all. This makes me doubt if their typing of others are accurate. That's why my earlier post asked if these people they're typing have actually been tested?
 

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Discussion Starter #33
I think we're going off-track... My original comment was referring to people who are typing others, not themselves. Are they (1) well-versed with all the cognitive functions? (2) understand the people they're typing? My argument was not to do one or the other (test or simply read up the cognitive functions). I suggested doing both.

I asked the qn above because I see a lot of people typing people in their lives. One called out a classmate's type but went on to say he doesn't know him well at all. This makes me doubt if their typing of others are accurate. That's why my earlier post asked if these people they're typing have actually been tested?
I just went off on a tangent with that post that you quoted.

I said "this is true"

then I should have said next to that that, "I think that 90% of the online tests ...."

so you see I just threw in my opinion. It wasn't really directed at your post I believe lol.
 

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Discussion Starter #35
I don't know about anyone else, but much of my life and existence has felt surreal. It never fails to surprise me how much I actually manage to get done, to my relief, considering my almost constant dream-like state.

I fear my Se is retarded. Well behind its developmental milestones.
Can you describe your Ni?

And can you give examples of your "dream-like state" ?
 

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Can you describe your Ni?

And can you give examples of your "dream-like state" ?
I'm not sure I can give a good description of Ni. I can tell you some things about myself that I think might point to, but not be conclusive of, Ni though. Like the fact that the most vivid memories I have in my life are not events, but moments of revelation I have had, and the internal dialogue I had about them at the time. Some of these revelations are things I realised about the world and my relationship with it, and others are insights about people I have observed or only glimpsed for a moment; the kind of insights which I realise I wouldn't like strangers to know about me, as it would feel very intrusive, so I keep to myself to not freak people out. Whilst I can ponder matters at length, my thoughts don't tend to progress in a linear way, but somehow find their own way. I tend to think this is indicative of Ni rather than Ne, because I tend to come to a confident conclusion one way or another as opposed to Ne which seems to enjoy exploring endlessly and never feels comfortable coming to definitive conclusions.

My 'dream-like' state is literally passing my days often only semi aware of what is going on around me. It's not very healthy actually, and I need to work on being more 'present' in whatever I'm doing. I somehow manage to get away with it because I have many bursts of high productivity which compensate and can impress people (who only notice the bursts, because I've never had a job with a high level of supervision; where people would notice my otherwise general inactivity). I'm about to start quite a different job next week though, so things might change..

Why do you ask? What 'type' are you? :)
 

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When I feel really good, I think of INFJ's as a rarity like a diamond. All the parts of the machine are necessary and important, but some are more common than others.

When I feel lousy, I think of INFJ's as mutants. Sigh* It's no fun always being the odd person out, and never really being able to share who you really are. I wonder how many standard deviations we are away from the "norm."
 
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Discussion Starter #38
I'm not sure I can give a good description of Ni. I can tell you some things about myself that I think might point to, but not be conclusive of, Ni though. Like the fact that the most vivid memories I have in my life are not events, but moments of revelation I have had, and the internal dialogue I had about them at the time. Some of these revelations are things I realised about the world and my relationship with it, and others are insights about people I have observed or only glimpsed for a moment; the kind of insights which I realise I wouldn't like strangers to know about me, as it would feel very intrusive, so I keep to myself to not freak people out. Whilst I can ponder matters at length, my thoughts don't tend to progress in a linear way, but somehow find their own way. I tend to think this is indicative of Ni rather than Ne, because I tend to come to a confident conclusion one way or another as opposed to Ne which seems to enjoy exploring endlessly and never feels comfortable coming to definitive conclusions.

My 'dream-like' state is literally passing my days often only semi aware of what is going on around me. It's not very healthy actually, and I need to work on being more 'present' in whatever I'm doing. I somehow manage to get away with it because I have many bursts of high productivity which compensate and can impress people (who only notice the bursts, because I've never had a job with a high level of supervision; where people would notice my otherwise general inactivity). I'm about to start quite a different job next week though, so things might change..

Why do you ask? What 'type' are you? :)
INFP, I think. :) based on the cognitive functions, that is.
 

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A curse disguised as a blessing.
This, so much.

It's not enjoyable when you try to reach out to a friend and explain why being what you are is not a walk in the park, only to have it thrown back in your face because of the 'rarity' factor or something else just makes your predicament seem unique alone to them. It's time like that which make me feel like I'm not being heard.
 
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