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Discussion Starter #1
Not sure how we ended up talking about this but this guy I work for won’t describe sex as fun. I certainly didn’t start the conversation, but my coworker finds ways of turning everything into a sex topic.

We all laughed at the guy who oddly enough isn’t even phased by it. I think his exact words were closer to ‘it’s something you do that feels good, and then its done.’

This man comes from a very very traditional, ANCIENT, conservative, old school from way way back when christian community. You could almost say his marriage was arranged, except it wasn’t arranged from birth and it was entirely their decision to pursue a relationship. He’s very phlegmatic.

I nearly posted this in spam as a mockery, but then I thought ‘what if there are others?!’ So yeah on to the topic. .


I’ve always thought of sex as fun, except for a few miserable encounters. So it got me wondering how others might describe sex.

Would you describe sex as fun?
If not, then what would you describe it as?
Is what you’re describing, your ideal/fantasized sex?
 

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I think "fun" is too specific a word. Sex can be fun sometimes, or not.

"Feels good" seems to cover more territory, as it can mean many things. But of course it might not always feel good either, e.g., if you're being raped.

To me, sex is transcendental (usually).
 

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Beyond the physical .... hmmm! like mental or intellectual or abstract.
So sex is abstract for you. er! do you just sit there and imagine having sex?
That doesn't sound like "sex" as we common people know of. Are you talking about sex as in sexual activity associated with sexual course?
The question is "Would you describe sex as fun? "
and answer is yeah! with the right partner.
 

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Discussion Starter #7
Beyond the physical .... hmmm! like mental or intellectual or abstract.
So sex is abstract for you. er! do you just sit there and imagine having sex?
That doesn't sound like "sex" as we common people know of. Are you talking about sex as in sexual activity associated with sexual course?
The question is "Would you describe sex as fun? "
and answer is yeah! with the right partner.
There were multiple questions in my post.

@islandlight
I do wish you would try to explain more. It sounds to me like you’re hinting at “spiritual”.
 

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Would you describe sex as fun?
If not, then what would you describe it as?
Is what you’re describing, your ideal/fantasized sex?

Sex can be fun. Sometimes it's way better than fun.
When it's way better than fun, it's incredibly intimate and I don't really have a word to describe it. Just 'more.'
I wouldn't call it idealised or fantasised because that makes it sound like it's something imagined and I'm talking about something I've experienced.
 

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Yes, I'm talking about actual sex. No, it's more like being totally present, but internally.

I never understood about fantasies or kink. To me, they would distract from, rather than improve on, the actual thing; they'd require too much consciousness.

An ISTP boyfriend who was into kink said I was a "purist." We only did one of the things he liked (he wouldn't tell me what the others were). To me it was totally boring, like, "Okay, can we stop doing this and get back to sex?"

I don't mean I'm against positions or situations or whatever. Those things happen naturally.
 

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Sex doesn't feel that amazing, only good enough, somehow I want more of it. Very similar to eating food in general, I demand variety.
 

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If it's not uncomfortably awkward then it can be fun, though my own enjoyment of it is so heavily dependent on the other person. Ideal sex would thus involve an idealized person and I don't know if they exist. I kinda doubt it so I don't want to think about it usually.
 

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An often enjoyable activity?
 
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Discussion Starter #13
If it's not uncomfortably awkward then it can be fun, though my own enjoyment of it is so heavily dependent on the other person. Ideal sex would thus involve an idealized person and I don't know if they exist. I kinda doubt it so I don't want to think about it usually.
Perhaps you’re living in the wrong area? There’s a lot of world out there.
 

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Perhaps you’re living in the wrong area? There’s a lot of world out there.
Well, probably. I am pretty biased against the locals. If someone is foreign to me then that raises my interest, but even so I'm not able to move anywhere.
 

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Discussion Starter #15
Well, probably. I am pretty biased against the locals. If someone is foreign to me then that raises my interest, but even so I'm not able to move anywhere.
That’s unfortunate.

Are you unable to live mobile? Assuming quarantine wasn’t in the way.
 

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That’s unfortunate.

Are you unable to live mobile? Assuming quarantine wasn’t in the way.
I can't drive if that's what you mean. From how I see it, it's pretty much a choice between staying put or live on the streets.
 

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Discussion Starter #17
I can't drive if that's what you mean. From how I see it, it's pretty much a choice between staying put or live on the streets.
Yes.

But if you can work, you won’t be miserable. It’s not easy but I promise it’s worth it.
 

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It depends who it is with, if I have chemistry with the person or not.
Sometimes it's just awkward. Waiting for it to be over because within 5 minutes of foreplay I realised i'm not orgasming tonight. That type of sex where you're thinking "I want this to be good but this was probably a mistake".
If I do have chemistry with the person however, it's amazing. It's not the physical sensations only, it's this boost of feelings, all these hormones that create this euphoric feeling. Then after the sex, addictive thoughts about the person the next day. It has caused me to develop this weird attachment to him after the sex.
Penetrative sex (with a man) is incredibly intense, even though I can't orgasm from it it's still the most enjoyable type of sex.
I will admit most of the sex i've had as been awkward to an extent. Good, but there's awkward moments.
 
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