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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
How has your self perception of your attractiveness changed over time?
This would likely hold a greater range the older one is to have been in a period of romantic attractiveness and life changes, but curious to transitions and the implications, small and large.

Like if you were someone in high school who had really bad acne, wore braces but come adulthood your face has cleared up, got a 10/10 smile. Your self concept likely hasn't changed significantly unless there has been immense change in how you're not treated on the basis of the looks perhaps which cause you to reevaluate.
Maybe you developed early and so you got a lot of attention and this caused you to feel comfortable in your looks or maybe cover up more, trying to downplay them.

Also wondering how this is into older age to, how has your relationship with your body changed and how you perceive others? Like your body isn't how it was when you were 20 though you may still be taking good care of yourself, how do you relate to how you look now to the past?
It's insignificant? You think you look pretty smashing still? You idealize some aspects in the past with a feeling of nostalgia but comfortable with how you are? Perhaps there isn't an acceptance of how you look and want to change things.
 

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I consider myself someone who has been in many fazes with that.

I was a pretty little girl I think I am far enough removed from being five to constructively say I was a cute little girl.

My preteen years were very uncomfortable it was mainly because I was very dark haired tho from being Italian and my mother would not let me get rid of my unibrow or mustache so I was teased for it. And I dressed and acted aggressive much more like a boy at the time so I did not view myself as pretty or desired in general not like no one liked me.

Anyways funny how easy wax or nair, and tweezing can cure those sort of insecurities. As soon as my unibrow and mustache was gone I was highly sought after. But I am glad I did have my highly awkward fugly stage because for one I appreciated the attention differently then someone who is just accustomed to always being 'pretty' and I believe I was always more laid back and modest when I did go from ugly duckling more towards swan.

Anyways I would say tho that the value and substance in what interactions I attracted became different. I was valued much more for being the person I am when I was seen as a homely plain jane, and the boys that liked me liked me because of my personality, after I transitioned I was much more sought after just for sexual gratification and physical attraction.

I am literally someone that can by one day look unnoticeable if I have a ball cap and baggy sweat pants and another day easily be stunning and highly noticed just by simple changes from male clothes and a ball cap, to not much at all fitted jeans/fitted shirt, mascara and hair that was groomed more then in a pony tail. Its funny how a few minor changes dramatically change sex appeal while not having done much really that different.

Theres a certain level of a basis one probably has to have as far as proportions and a palette. But if I want to put the effort in and transform myself from virtually any look I am able to, production and aesthetics are basically my specialty. So yeah theres gotta be some sort of a foundation. I look okay rolling outta bed, but that said I think a lot standardized attraction is just about knowing techniques in grooming.

Honestly I think I know what I am capable of and it basically makes me most days not really give a crap. Thus day to day looking casual and not trying that hard with lots of application and grooming.

Anyways I don't think I am the most attractive person or a 10, I just know my strengths which is an ability to articulate, my strong presence, my versatility in talent, and generally being down to earth and not taking myself that fucking serious, and my ability to go from PJs to a cocktail dress work for me just fine.

I think nothing has changed with age outside obviously aging, my attractiveness physically is still the same for my age group if anything maybe better as I maintained somethings while aging. I don't pretend to compete with other age groups either direction thats silly. I do think tho that I am not impressed with people that are only impressed with my appearance "your pretty" coming from a 40 year old is lame, I need to have conversing and substance, not hear I am pretty, I mean in our age group I assume naturally someone is physically attracted to me if they are pursuing me, so that does not seem like something one should say, yet some peope are idiots and that's all they care about even when they age.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
What's your story, Mr. @Wellsy?
I don't feel like I've had to think to much about my appearance too much, I don't think i've been all that appealing in part because of how slack I am in my presentation of self.
Though I did have some interesting experiences in which when I wore tighter fitting clothing that people sometimes made comment. This to me revealed an aspect I had not thought much about before of exaggerating one's figure through one's clothes though I still ultimately dress for comfort more so than anything else.
I think in the past the only concern I really had to my looks was less about muscles or being lean but more my smile, but i've mostly gotten over that and think people are fine with my slightly crooked grin.

It has been rather interesting later in life to have seen compliments from people that i'm handsome and the sort, I appreciate the compliments but still feels a bit at odds with my self concept. Not that I think myself unattractive but it's always felt somewhat neutral and when it wasn't, it was based on the whims of my mood.
Somedays feel like I look good, other days think I look bit crap but overall I think I, as with most people, look average and can improve our looks largely by presenting ourselves in a tidy manner. Kind of hoping at some point I'll take more of an interest in fashion as I take up shopping for clothes more later in life, sounds like im kind of hoping to wake up one day and care XD But think it's been a transition, I care a bit about my appearence but haven't really invested in understanding it.
 

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I don't recall how I viewed myself, when rather younger... say, a teen or pre-teen. I remember getting a bit upset as I got older and the weight on the scale showed heavier and heavier. : /

My 20s, somewhat self-conscious as that weight caught up with me, though again I don't remember having *very* strong feelings about how I looked. I was fairly disappointed, however, especially as I realised skin blemishes were *not* just going to completely go away with the passing of teenagerhood.

Somewhere in my late 20's I lost a fair bit of weight, generally got in better shape (partly on purpose, partly by accident). Got a handle on the blemishes fairly well. Diversified my fashion a bit. I've become *much* more concerned with how I look. Although I'm older - and surely look older - I'm probably more attractive than I've been for most of my life. Which is a bit disappointing to me, as I feel like I've kinda just gotten to being... more or less competent in these matters when I'm going to really start to see a downhill slide : / I nitpick a lot about myself, and get disappointed that I'm *still* not quite where I want to be, weight-wise (not that I'm doing so badly, mind).

Hasn't really translated into much more positive attention paid to me, *but* I prefer to be in decent shape and have nice clothes and whatnot, as opposed to how things were previously.
 

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Well, got out of my fat stage and lost my braces, lots and lots of opportunities came to me then. So I brought myself from like a 4 to a 6. And been an uphill battle since then. I was never called hot or anything until recently, but it is becoming a more common thing.

Depending on the persons taste Id say I can easily pull an 8.5 to 9.5. While for some people Id still be a 5 haha. Works for me though. Been working out too, so compelte my the package with abs is all I need.
 

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Up until high school, I honestly didn't think about it much, and tried not to because it was an annoying subject. I just wasn't interested yet in dating, others' appearances, or my own, and didn't really see my own body/face as a representation of my personal identity. Just a visible marker that was arbitrarily assigned to me and made me possible to distinguish.

High school ish, I started caring more for some reason; as if there was a sudden integration my external and internal worlds, or maybe I started caring more about what others thought. At least, I tried to wear well-fitting clothes instead of the loose, bland stuff I used to, and try out some different hairstyles. It was alright, didn't appreciate the attention.

Nowadays, I'm back to middle school mentality, lol, with the exception of having gained a better understanding for how our appearances affect the manner in which we are perceived. It's amazing how otherwise amazing individuals who were unfortunate enough to grow up with some "deficiency" (like weight problems, or bad acne) have been consistently getting shit their whole lives from complete strangers (and even acquaintances). Likewise, I use others' appearances to gauge how they want to present themselves to the world - who tries to be perpetually "stylish", who wants to look "tough", and whatever other effects their wardrobe choices are intended to have.

I do my best not to judge people on their innate physical appearances; I know it's not physically possible to be 100% unbiased, but I think I've always been relatively good about that.
 

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I would say I'm ugly or below average tbh. Objectively I know I'm not ugly most of the time, but I do feel that way
 

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hmm in high school etc I didn't care. I was too fantasized in my illusions and imagination I couls create anything what I looked like and everything in the real world didn't matter....but now...imagination isn't enough so I am not obsessed with my appearance...many things I want to change...the fact that certain guys are attracted to certain body types...so naturally very confused about that....so I'm going for the skinny smooth faced justin beiber ish look...though my hairstyle? no clue...
 

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I feel like I have a pretty killer face when combined with the right hairstyle and facial hair (or lack thereof) combo. Not really happy with the fact that I'm somewhat overweight as opposed to when I was lean and in shape when I was in my puberty/lower teens kind of age (did a lot more outdoor activity back then).

But I don't have any particular problems with my natural body shape. It's difficult to pull off the straight-edge military stance with my shoulders because my spine is a tad weirdly slanted/positioned. But I don't know that I see that as a body image issue - it's annoying sometimes that I can't easily pull off that look, if only because I'm pursuing acting and as an actor I want a pliable body.

I get a little insecure when I don't invest time into grooming, but that's about it. And it probably stems from the fact that most of the people in my family are pretty anal about grooming themselves. As are most of my friends/acquaintances. So I sometimes feel like the guy who can't get his grooming shit together.
 

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I'm very sexy. I know I am, people have told me my entire life and I know it about myself. However, I am physically not my cultural ideal, I am short, I am very large breasted. My teeth don't quite fit my small mouth, but I have a great smile, and I inherited a nearsighted eye from my father but my large dark eyes are one of my good features. People compliment my soft, thick, young looking skin, but it also breaks out easily.

I'm definitely imperfect. There are people who don't appreciate me, but that's fine...I mean all people are just people, I'm glad I am attractive enough, I mean some people would consider my sex life a dream come true, so I am not going to cry because I don't look like a supermodel.

I have noticed though that people who have a kind of unconventional sexiness like I do draw hate. It's almost like some people WANT you to hate yourself because you aren't a supermodel but you still manage to attract a lot of people. But generally I am able to get along with both genders. I'm not one of those women who compete with or back stab other women unless that individual has actually invaded my territory. I really hate being around women who tear each other down. I have some really sexy female friends of all shapes and sizes. I think it's about loving your self instead of desperation to be the cultural ideal.
 
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Well, during my teenage years I was probably around a 2. Now I'd place myself at a solid 1.

:happy:
 
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People told me I was really cute as a kid, but I didn't see it. In my teens, I found out I'm unapproachable. For a long time, I thought it was because I was short and ugly. Guys never asked me out at school. I got called a slut a bunch of times. Which was a little frustrating because I never got to find out if I'm a slut because no one talked to me in the first place. Of course, I wasn't brave enough to say it. I have two sisters and my big sister talked me into using Hot or Not site. She didn't know why no one was interested in me, but assured me I'm not hideous. You'd think guys my own age would have flirted with me. But the only attention I got were adult men and I'm pretty sure they thought they were being nice. People on the site rated me at 9.5 and 10. She picked flattering pics.

I think I'm attractive, but it's worthless because I don't have social skills. I don't smile enough. I spend too long trying to think of something to say and not saying anything. Knowing I'm attractive doesn't help me get from point a to point b. And I don't feel attractive. I feel short.
 
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