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If there's something that needs to be done, you're the first one to act. Practicality is your middle name, and you don't have patience for hysterics and drama. And yet, you don't do things in the background like the I's, oh no. My mother is an ESTJ...and she let me know up front that she'd clean my room if I didn't, but all the little knick-knacks I collect and anything else she considered superfluous was fair game for the garbage if it became her project. You've got a core of steel, but it's tempered with the slightest bit of indulgence. You'll stand beside those you love and care about no matter what stupid things they get themselves into...but that won't stop you from telling them exactly how stupid you think their actions were. You're like a warrior wielding the sword of efficiency. Loyal, steadfast, and strong, it's no wonder you're successful at whatever you set your mind to. You can just be terrifying sometimes >.> it doesn't matter than my mom is 5'2... no matter what the size, an ESTJ's calm, cool resolve hides a temper that can snap a man in half. -BIG HUG-
 

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I'd like to do more than hug an ESTJ :laughing:
 

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My mother is an ESTJ...and she let me know up front that she'd clean my room if I didn't, but all the little knick-knacks I collect and anything else she considered superfluous was fair game for the garbage if it became her project.
Oh my goodness, my ESTJ mother threatens me with the same thing :crazy:
 

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>.> It's been a month....but I just had to add this in... It doesn't matter how old I get, I still flinch when my mom gets "The Tone" when scolding the grandkids. Even though I'm an ENFP, I do take on ESTJ traits at times...generally when something needs to get done and there's no one else capable of doing it. >< I had a friend who got sick after drinking too much...and her husband is super squeamish about that kind of thing. The other person over discovered she's also got a weak stomach when it comes to other people's stomach contents. I'm usually pretty grossed out by that kind of thing too, but knowing I was the only one capable of cleaning it up, I suddenly slipped into ESTJ mode and got to work without a word.

I also can get "THE TONE" sometimes when addressing my nieces and nephews... and I think I once gave "The Look" to a stranger's kid when I worked at a retail store. >.> This lady was ignoring her little boy while he was a holy terror. She came into the beauty department, where I work, and was asking me questions. Out of the corner of my eye, I see the kid grab a handful of applicators out of one of the trays. Completely unconsciously, I shot him "THE LOOK" and his eyes got all big as he very carefully returned the applicators to their tray and proceeded to stand still and be a good little boy. >.> Then his mother decided it was time to leave... -shrug- Not like I yelled at the kid or backhanded him or anything.

Even though I love being an ENFP....I think I like having the ESTJ switch on occasion.
 

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You've got a core of steel, but it's tempered with the slightest bit of indulgence. You'll stand beside those you love and care about no matter what stupid things they get themselves into...but that won't stop you from telling them exactly how stupid you think their actions were. You're like a warrior wielding the sword of efficiency. Loyal, steadfast, and strong, it's no wonder you're successful at whatever you set your mind to. You can just be terrifying sometimes >.> it doesn't matter than my mom is 5'2... no matter what the size, an ESTJ's calm, cool resolve hides a temper that can snap a man in half. -BIG HUG-
That's me in a nutshell! I can't help but think of the saying "No one beats up my little brother but me." Your summation is definitely and undeniably true of this ESTJ.

Let's hug it out.
 

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yeah... i love estjs... even though they're so meticulous! I'm just glad I'm her friend... keeps me on track...
I love how they're so insensitive and not emotionally draining. I don't really have to worry about hurting feelings or playing hero. All I really have to do as a friend is support her, do a lot of listening, and stick to how she does things. LOL. HUG!
 

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That is a perfect description! Thanks!

That's funny that your mom is an ESTJ because I am ESTJ with an ENFP mother, and her father is an ESTJ, so who knows, you might end up like my mom and have an ESTJ for a child. I would say that probably softens the ESTJ quite a bit. I'm pretty much a ESTJ that has a lot of idealistic values and a little more feeling because of the people around me constantly telling me to soften up and be less critical.
 

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My dad is an ENFP, so that softened up my mom quite a bit I think. ^_^
 

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People are people. There are good and bad for every type, I just choose to believe that the good outweighs the bad....people just tend to focus on the negative. ^_^
 
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I love how they're so insensitive and not emotionally draining. I don't really have to worry about hurting feelings or playing hero.
My "T" is at 100%. I don't like to think I'm 'insensitive' as much as not sensitive to everything, or overly sensitive. If I wasn't sensitive, I wouldn't have responded to this!
ESTJ just don't have time for nonsense!:tongue:
 

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I'm interested in hearing more about what your mom was like as an ESTJ. I'm an ESTJ girl and I want to have children, but I am worried that I'll be overbearing. I think that room cleaning thing is hilarious, I can definitely see myself using that same line.

Did you think she was bossy and overbearing, was she good at being a friend to you? Anyway, any insight in what she "did" would be helpful, especially things you think she did poorly so I can try to not do those...maybe :).
 

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Let's see....well....one thing I'd say is don't let interruptions get to you. Kids have terrible timing for wanting something from mom, and it will only stress you out if you let it bother you when your reading, tv time, or nap gets interrupted for the 10th time when the little ones want to know if it's ok to throw waterballoons off the roof. No? How about from a tree? Is it ok to fill the balloon with pudding instead? :p Also, you're going to find yourself being the "strict" parent, so be aware that if daddy is a pushover, you may find your decrees getting undermined. >.> I frankly think that parenting style is definitely something a couple should discuss before having children. It can be a big deal if you suddenly discover your partner has completely different ideas on how to raise a child.

My mom has always been very understanding and supportive (aside from a few flashes of temper. It doesn't snap often, but when it does, it snaps hard). She makes an effort to be there for all of her children even if she doesn't really understand our motivations.
It seems to me like my mother took parenthood in stages.

1. Loving but stern with very young children to establish expectations and proper behavior for certain situations. It's not ok to throw food on the floor at dinner. It's not ok to be loud indoors, especially in public places.

2. I wouldn't say overbearing persay, but I believe that at a certain age, the expectations of proper behavior are demanded more strictly, and inappropriate behavior is punished and scolded. If you're really good, you'll be able to just give the child "THE LOOK" and it will be enough. Rules are applied with consequences attached - if you don't eat all your food, you don't get dessert. If you don't ask a day in advance, you don't get to spend the night at a friend's house.

3. As the child hits their teens, the parent becomes more lenient, with more basic rules of calling to say where they are if plans change, if they'll be late, or if they won't be home that night. More structured, detailed rules may go into effect: My mother's personal dating rules for all of us were group dates at 13, double dates at 15, and single dating at 16 (more for the practicality of having a car).

4. Every year, the child becomes more independent and becomes less of a concern to the parent. She still cares about me, but she doesn't really care what I do most of the time.
 

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Hooray! big hugs to ESTJs! yes we can be pretty direct but really we're not being mean - we just care a lot!

I so agree with that Mindbane - why don't people just do what they say they're gonna do and in the timescale they say? instead of me having to get teed off and ask them 'in the nicest possiblest way I can' when it really means "Get on with it!'

lol :crazy:
 

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That child thing is interesting. I was incredibly bossy to my younger sister ALL the time. And she's an INFP so of course she absolutely HATED that. I once really worried that I'd be too controlling of a mother, but then I had 2 younger brothers and 5 younger cousins, and started babysitting more and working at a day camp. The thing about children is that they completely loosen you up and change you. My mom who's an ENFP and had a ESTJ father said she never understood him until she had me as her child, and I used to drive her CRAZY. But as you live with them they always change you. I was a super uptight sister, cousin, and counselor before. But after years of being with them, i've completely loosened up. I think its in an ESTJ's nature to be a parent. We are just born parent like. We may not be the most nurturing of parents, but we'd make excellent parents.

Try to be around kids a little more and see what you think. I really didnt like them at first, but now I can wait to be a mom! Of course I have to find a husband first lol :)
 

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*hugs ESTJs*
I now have an ESTJ best friend, and she's delightful :happy:
 
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I once told a friend "babies are good in theory, but undesirable in practice." I was kidding (I love children), but it sounds like the reasoning may be a classic ESTJ approach.

My ESFJ mom always said I was a strong-willed child. I built a reputation of being bossy towards my ISFP sister, who also built a reputation on being a cry-baby. However, some people like telling me I'd be a great father. It is usually coupled with a compliment regarding my conversation style (one of my favorites: "when I talk to you, there's always a hint of a smirk on your face and I always feel you're laughing at me on the inside. But ultimately you humor me and listen to what I have to say...I think you'll be a great father and husband!").
 

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Discussion Starter #19
one of my favorites: "when I talk to you, there's always a hint of a smirk on your face and I always feel you're laughing at me on the inside. But ultimately you humor me and listen to what I have to say...
That's exactly it! My mom has the same expression/manner.
 
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