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This is something else and i'm at loss, here's the story...
My friend, let's say U where with E for 7 years and they even had a child now 2 years old, but then they broke up. U had a friend for 6 months named J and it was good until U found out that J has been out with E for 2 weeks. Yes very sad handling of situation from J not telling anything for U.
When U found out about it J wouldn't want to talk about it at all so U went and hit J one night out of desperation and J send a very nasty text after that, very nasty.
After all this U and E has being seeing each other for the sake of the child and J has been keeping his distance from U, not even wanting to talk on the phone with E when U has been around. Few weeks passed and U and J run to each other in the night club, J fleeing the scene. Few weeks more and again they meet at the same place and U get's very pissed and throws some drinks on J. Even further in time and again they meet, but now after arguing J hits U and now where in the situation where even U and my friendship is on the line as U seems to be going unstable from fear for his son. Fear because J doesn't seem to be reasonable at all and to begin with he was very unresponsible for his own actions and anything at all actually.
We had lengthy discussion about this all with U and he doesn't seem to get my point of view at all, like where talking about entirely different things.
It boils down to that he wont get it at all when i try to seek solution by entertaining J's point of view and he expects me the pacifist to just join in on the rage. Yes i share his feelings and have made it very clear, but i just can't lose my rationality and reason.
For this miscommunication of sorts he has poured some very nasty accusation on me and doubts on our almost 10 year long friendship. Anything i say he attacks vicariously and says something like "how's it that i'm always the bad guy".
Very sad situation, any help or thought would be nice. If my writing made any sense to begin with
Edit: I feel like i see the situation as it is with the knowledge i have given and i feel deep empathy for my friend, but it wont seem to be enough.
My friend, let's say U where with E for 7 years and they even had a child now 2 years old, but then they broke up. U had a friend for 6 months named J and it was good until U found out that J has been out with E for 2 weeks. Yes very sad handling of situation from J not telling anything for U.
When U found out about it J wouldn't want to talk about it at all so U went and hit J one night out of desperation and J send a very nasty text after that, very nasty.
After all this U and E has being seeing each other for the sake of the child and J has been keeping his distance from U, not even wanting to talk on the phone with E when U has been around. Few weeks passed and U and J run to each other in the night club, J fleeing the scene. Few weeks more and again they meet at the same place and U get's very pissed and throws some drinks on J. Even further in time and again they meet, but now after arguing J hits U and now where in the situation where even U and my friendship is on the line as U seems to be going unstable from fear for his son. Fear because J doesn't seem to be reasonable at all and to begin with he was very unresponsible for his own actions and anything at all actually.
We had lengthy discussion about this all with U and he doesn't seem to get my point of view at all, like where talking about entirely different things.
It boils down to that he wont get it at all when i try to seek solution by entertaining J's point of view and he expects me the pacifist to just join in on the rage. Yes i share his feelings and have made it very clear, but i just can't lose my rationality and reason.
For this miscommunication of sorts he has poured some very nasty accusation on me and doubts on our almost 10 year long friendship. Anything i say he attacks vicariously and says something like "how's it that i'm always the bad guy".
Very sad situation, any help or thought would be nice. If my writing made any sense to begin with
Edit: I feel like i see the situation as it is with the knowledge i have given and i feel deep empathy for my friend, but it wont seem to be enough.
