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Discussion Starter #1
Hi,

I have this ISTP in my class. He helped me with my homework. And after a few months, he started saying things like I like you and can we meet, so I can cook you dinner? I kind of liked him too, but did not want to admit it and gave evasive answers. I did not want to start anything, because he wasnt the one (everything feels right when someone is the one). But I kept contact with him online, sometimes too much (because one time some people were joking in the class. Saying I had a crush on him).
And he posted somethig on facebook about this one girl that changes everything. He wants to fight for her to get her, he said also. I asked him jokingly: 'I want to know your secrets, who is the girl?'. He said 'Dont worry its not you. Also I dont have a crush on you'.

I find it kind of strange because he kind of said it. And maybe its just me being an NF, dreaming of what a relationship could be.

So my question: How should I take it? And was he leading me on?

thank you !
 

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Yeah, let it go. You say he's not the one anyway.
 
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It sounds to me like he may be testing the waters, we generally dont pursue a relationship unless the other person also shows interest. He might appreciate being told your not interested however awkward that may be for you. Otherwise just accept what he said about it not being you.
 

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It sounds to me like he may be testing the waters, we generally dont pursue a relationship unless the other person also shows interest. He might appreciate being told your not interested however awkward that may be for you. Otherwise just accept what he said about it not being you.
That makes sense. Thank you =)
 

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Sounds to me like you were leading him on a little bit (being evasive), and he decided to move on.
 

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I think young, relationship - inexperienced ISTPs tend to cast out a lot of lines, make possible opportunities. We approach it in an objective kind of way, so it can seem pretty insensitive. I can see why it might hurt your feelings, but I'm sure it was unintentional. Doesn't seem like he'd have a reason to hurt you unless he was especially immature or something.
 
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Maybe he didn't lie, because if he posted something like that on his facebook he may have been hoping to see if he got a reaction from that particular person and if that person was you he would have told you when you asked him that it was indeed you he was talking about or he would have persue the subject but he didn't, he was really direct I think he block you the way when he said he didn't had a crush on you, I would say something like that only if I wasnt interested otherwise I wouldn't, when I think someone has no interest in me whatsoever I tend to forget them quite fast I don't waste my time. But then again maybe I'm mistaken.
 

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He showed interest. You showed disinterest. If I were him, I'd say fuck it and move on as soon as you stated disinterest. I can see the "also, I don't have a crush on you," as a kind of sting, not unlike a, "really bitch? You rejected me, why do you care?"
 

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Yeah, to echo, why do you say "relationship" possibilities, when you made it pretty clear (to his point of view) that you weren't interested.

That Facebook post is still a bit cryptic, though.
 

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I can't speak for him but if I were inclined to use facebook and posted that (facebook is way too public for me, and I'd not advertise my interest in a girl to anyone let alone everyone) then if I were interested in you I wouldn't have said I wasn't. Besides, where's the fight - you're single! I don't see any reason to think he's talking about you so you'd best forget him. I hope your instincts were right...
 

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He showed interest. You showed disinterest. If I were him, I'd say fuck it and move on as soon as you stated disinterest. I can see the "also, I don't have a crush on you," as a kind of sting, not unlike a, "really bitch? You rejected me, why do you care?"
I tend to agree with this. ISTPs often have to go out on a limb to start a relationship and express interest, and when rejected, are not likely to continue pursuing it, but back off and find someone new. Plus, it would make me rather angry to have the one who rejected me suddenly be upset by my moving on.
 
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