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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
so first, I am new to all this. I just took a few quick personality and zodiac tests and here it is (which personally I feel is very accurate) :

MBTI personality: ENTP-T
Chinese Zodiac: Horse
Rising Sign: Sagetarious
Zodiac Sign: Leo
Moon: Aries
Element: Fire (Triple Fire actually)

I am 27 years old, I am very independent, and extrovert when I am making the effort to meet people, yet I fail to make friends. I have traveled a bit, speak multiple languages, and yet i feel a gap when it comes to making friends. I have very hard time finding soulmate (I say I am decent looking, 175lb/5'8"), or staying in relationship, my relationships are consist of booty calls and one night stands. I want affection, I want marriage, I want long term relationship but at the same time, knowing myself, I fear all that.

I am very blunt and straight forward, and people's first impression of me is :that cocky attention mongering idiot with know it all attitude who is no good"; which I would say is not true. I am good at getting things done to myself (when I put my mind to it, not so much in providing to others).

I appreciate any input you guys and other ENTP's may have in dealing with life, finding purpose... or am I just asking the wrong questions in wrong places..
 

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Welcome to PerC.

Every question is worth asking.

May I suggest breaking it down a bit.
You essentially have half the entire site of PerC
within your post. Far to many questions to give an
answer save writing a novel in response.

In short?

You choose your actions. You reap the outcomes of such choices.

You say people see you like X but you are Y. If the concern is what
people see then change how you act. If you dont care what they think
then dont care. If you care what they think but dont want to change then
stay lonely.

Within your post I see answers to your own questions. You know what you need
and want. Play the game to get it or do not.

Waiting for the world to fall inline with what an individual believes and/or wants
to believe is going to be a heck of a wait. My suggestion is to try and meet the
world in the middle.

We may only try to master ourselves. Others, have the same privilege.
 

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so first, I am new to all this. I just took a few quick personality and zodiac tests and here it is (which personally I feel is very accurate) :

MBTI personality: ENTP-T
Chinese Zodiac: Horse
Rising Sign: Sagetarious
Zodiac Sign: Leo
Moon: Aries
Element: Fire (Triple Fire actually)

I am 27 years old, I am very independent, and extrovert when I am making the effort to meet people, yet I fail to make friends. I have traveled a bit, speak multiple languages, and yet i feel a gap when it comes to making friends. I have very hard time finding soulmate (I say I am decent looking, 175lb/5'8"), or staying in relationship, my relationships are consist of booty calls and one night stands. I want affection, I want marriage, I want long term relationship but at the same time, knowing myself, I fear all that.

I am very blunt and straight forward, and people's first impression of me is :that cocky attention mongering idiot with know it all attitude who is no good"; which I would say is not true. I am good at getting things done to myself (when I put my mind to it, not so much in providing to others).

I appreciate any input you guys and other ENTP's may have in dealing with life, finding purpose... or am I just asking the wrong questions in wrong places..
Maybe you're not looking in the right places? Not to sound too cocky here, but friendships have been one of my strongest points. However, I know that in certain circles I can only be the "friend to go out with", not the real friend, because those people and I have no other interest in common other than social events.
I would suggest you get to know yourself first. Really know yourself, what you like, what you don't like, what kind of things you would spend hours talking about, what interests you intellectually. And from there on, try finding people who share your interests.

As for the relationship goals, marriage and affection and so on, I'm definitely not the one to help you with that. I'm way too fickle and a bit scared of commitment myself to help anyone with it.
 

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It kind of sucks in a way with ENTPs because when it comes to relationships you can either act like the most extroverted, assertive version of yourself and people might think you're standoffish and won't want to get to know you (because when we're arrogant, we're arrogant as FUCK)...or you really try to be nice to people make close bonds, which is a lot harder to find. I don't know what it is, but whenever I try to be really nice to people, I come off as disingenuous and untrustworthy, like I have some kind of ulterior motive.
 

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I am 27 years old, I am very independent, and extrovert when I am making the effort to meet people, yet I fail to make friends. I have traveled a bit, speak multiple languages, and yet i feel a gap when it comes to making friends. I have very hard time finding soulmate (I say I am decent looking, 175lb/5'8"), or staying in relationship, my relationships are consist of booty calls and one night stands. I want affection, I want marriage, I want long term relationship but at the same time, knowing myself, I fear all that.
I feel you man, I've always struggled w/ relationships/socializing. I can be very social, esp going to stuff like parties, bars, can will easily make friends ..and it is can become very apparent that i'm extroverted in those situations and I'll feel like I have lots of friends... but then other days I find myself w/o any plans and realizing I don't really have many friends that are all that close. A few that I don't talk w/ much anymore, a few that are only minor friends, and a few that I don't care all that much for: no one really close and no one i've been dating or on the horizon :/

I think it's a combination of things.

One aspect is the people I hit it off best w/ tend to be E--Ps that are even more flighty than me and hard to stay friends for long term.

Another aspect is I don't like when groups are too cliquey. To me more is always merrier and I don't like to exclude people, and i crave meeting new people. At times I find myself becoming friends w/ a circle of friends that are mostly introverted and more clique than I want.. and I find it stifling and I naturally distance myself from any group that starts to feel too confining. ... and I think that wanting to not be confined to one social circle prevents me from getting too close w/ individual friends. I'll hit it off great with a friend, but I don't want to just socialize with the one small circle of friends that person enjoys spending all their time w/ and so I end up distancing myself from that individual because I'm driven to distance myself from their social group.

Another aspect is I think when it comes to attachment theory I'm a fearful avoidant type and that makes it difficult for me to have romantic relationships. I'm only really interested in long term serious relationships... I don't go head over heals for people when I meet them, I'm realistic w/ romance, but there needs to be the potential for a long term, I hate one night stands and flings...but as soon it seems as if it's not going to work I'm over them. I'm also extremely turned off by any one who's overly clingy and affectionate... I like my SO to also be avoidant leaning... but that makes it hard for me to date anyone because the girls i'm attracted to are ones that are just as avoidant and flighty as myself. I'm guessing the fearful avoidant stuff also applies somewhat to plutonic friendships and social groups as well.

Unfortunately I don't have much advice... just the comfort that others struggle through similar things, esp entps it seems, and I think as you get older you do gradually figure stuff out: what you need in friends, romantic partners etc, awareness of unhealthy ways you deal with shit etc. .. so I guess things get better as you live and learn.
 

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I definitely feel like there are more open/extroverted social groups and more introverted closed social groups.

open/extroverted social groups are social groups that are intertwined and overlapping w/ other social circles like olympic rings. More often than not when you hang out with people in an open social circle you end up meeting and hanging out with people from other circles... like your college or coworkers buddies friends from high school or your high school friends' co workers.. or you'll have a group of friends who are friendly w/ your circle of friends who you see at parties and at bars and such, but who you don't hang out w/ for more intimate things like playing board games and watching movies and dinner and such.

Whereas closed circles more just stick to themselves and don't overlap as much w/ other social circles.

I think for myself I need my social groups to be very open and overlapping w/ other social groups. And that makes at can make it difficult to socialize and date because I end up distancing myself from individuals if their social groups feel too closed and confining. If social groups are to open and vaporous then you don't get all that close to people in them.. if they're too confining they send me running... it's kinda goldilocks type of thing
 

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awesome, I think the number of times the word "I" appears in your post might be a clue. Relationships, be they friendships or partnerships, are about giving. Try being interested in other people when you are socialising rather than talking about yourself?

Not being hard on you here, it's difficult to tell in such a short post what really makes someone tick. But I'd suggest you ask other people questions, find out what makes them sing. You might not find a soulmate tomorrow but you will probably generate some more interesting encounters.
 
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