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Hi everyone,
I have a bit weird question. I've been struggling with social anxiety and overthinking for many years. Recently, I decided on psychotherapy because I got really tired of my obsessive thoughts or social phobia. It's very exhausting. I already met with my psychotherapist a few times but the more times I see her, the more I start realizing that I am afraid of changing myself. Why? I believe it's because deep inside I like being an INFP - I like being so emotional, so sensitive, empathetic, introverted, for some people even a bit mysterious. I'm just too afraid that if I (somehow) let myself stop overthinking or start being socially "normal", then I stop being an INFP. I know, I totally know how childish it must sound. I just want to keep my personality but get rid of these self-destructive thoughts and anxieties. Is it possible? Is it possible to be an INFP with ease of mind? Or the moment I become more confident about myself, more social, more calm inside etc. I also start being somebody different?
I think that INFP type is a very cool type (that's why I don't wanna change) but it's also very mentally exhausting type (and that's what I'd like to change).
I will be really greatful for your answers because I feel that I created some kind of obstacle in my head that keeps me from 'healing' myself.

PS: English is not my native language so I'm sorry if there are some mistakes in the text above.
 

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ENFJ — sx/so — 2w3 7w6 9w8: The Peacekeeper
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I'm not INFP, so I don't know if what I say will apply to you. But therapy is what's helped me come back from the deepest depths one can go, suicide. The positive things you listed about being an INFP does not include obsesion, that's not healthy. You're not going to become less emotional, sensitive, empathetic, or introverted. You're just going to have healthier versions of those things. Ones that do not harm your mental wellbeing.
 
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Look into cognitive behavioral therapy. It will simply teach you new coping skills and more useful ways to think about the things that bother you, without delving into the core of who you are.
 

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@mayah

PS: English is not my native language so I'm sorry if there are some mistakes in the text above.
Nobody noticed. There exist native single language English speakers whom you speak and write better than. So you beat them in two different languages. :wink:

I already met with my psychotherapist a few times but the more times I see her, the more I start realizing that I am afraid of changing myself. Why? I believe it's because deep inside I like being an INFP - I like being so emotional, so sensitive, empathetic, introverted, for some people even a bit mysterious.
Psychotherapy might change you, yes. But that doesn't mean you will lose who you are. Healing is change, no? You could change for the better, gain access to a fuller range of your personality and retain all that you were before. It doesn't go away. That's not what the therapy is for.

I believe it's because deep inside I like being an INFP - I like being so emotional, so sensitive, empathetic, introverted, for some people even a bit mysterious.
Glad to hear you like those traits that you possess. You can develop a fuller range of behavior and remain the same INFP with the same traits you previously had.

Hang out with some PhD nerds, take care of that soft butter jello stuff floating around inside of your skull. You'll be okies.
 

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No matter how much psychotherapy you get you have to resonate with reality. Cognitive therapy can be summed up with an understanding that we have fixed ideas about things about reality that make no sense. Reality includes all kinds of embarrassing things and imperfections. INFP's have trouble laughing at themselves and external judgment. Eg. How Krist Novoselic described Kurt Cobain. He couldn't stand being made fun of.

Any stress has some fixed idea behind it and you need to explore it yourself with mindfulness. Relax your body and let the triggers pass away naturally. Don't elaborate, follow and construct narratives from these fixed ideas. Come back to the present again and again. You'll need to probably repeat this for the rest of your life.


Like George Carlin said you have to not "give a shit."


Florence Pugh actually looks like one of those types that just rolls with things. You don't have to imitate it completely, or be inauthentic, but you want to be comfortable in your own skin and roll with whatever goofy things show up. Feel the embarrassed anxious feelings and let it pass away without trying to push it away. It goes away on its own.

 

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Discussion Starter #6
Thank you very much for your anwers. I really appreaciate them. I think they can be very helpful to me, I just need to think everything through once again.
Best wishes! :)
 
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