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Why an ENTJ is a beneficiary in a relationship with ENFPs? What exactly an ENTJ "benefits" from ENFP? And how can an ENTJ spot an ENFP?

Honestly speaking, I belive in MBTI. And according to MBTI, ENFP along with INFP are supposed to be "marriage material" for ENTJ. This intrigues me. How can someone on Earth be able to handle an ENTJ?



EXACTLY! I am going absolutely insane with my ENTJ. I just don't know if I can deal with him. I've never met anyone like him before (or another ENTJ for that matter). Tonight he just lambasted knowing details about an email he sent over to 1,000 plus people. He's a prominent person and sends some weekly email out. He said they reacted to it , and me who is suppose to be with him and would benefit from it can't even tell him what was in the email when I claim I read it :/. (Yes, he tested me at dinner tonight.) He's always testing me. I feel like a test mouse. He doesn't believe in the MBTI stuff says it's crap, which incidentally the letter was addressing that, and i did stop reading after the first couple of sentences because I'm tired of being picked on constantly like there is something wrong with me. He says that he can't just fly by the seat of his pants and that I need to get rid of my big ego. :| Ego? Ego because I don't agree with everything he says? Yes, I am sensitive to criticism from a loved one. I couldn't care less about a stranger but my God, does everything have to be so aimed at the throat? He claims that I am the only woman he's ever loved, and that is a HONOR...(at least that is the way he makes it sound) I said , yes well we all can't be so perfect and well adjusted and problem free like you. He said.. It's a choice. I make a choice. No SHIT, but there are times as an ENFP we TRY hard to change what we don't like about ourselves, we go inward and we deal with it. Just because I am not moving fast enough for you or in a linear fashion, or nodding like a damn bobble head at every suggestion you make doesn't mean I'm not taking it in. I have a listening FACE. It is ------------> :|. When I am trying to focus on not taking things he says personally and I am quiet! I am really afraid that this will end up very bad. I feel like in his eyes nothing I do is right. I'm scolded for messing up my iphone update. Just from downloading it. "I should know this and that." Why is he even with me if I am this poor creature girl thing that just needs to be fixed? There are some things that I could stand to learn yes but I don't learn like this. I'm totally ENFPing over here.
 

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Could you summarize this? ... just kidding :p
As far as I know about myself, I don't 'test' people, it's just nice to hear feedback and talk about subjects i'm personally vested in.

I take it you haven't told him your complaints?
 

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Discussion Starter #4
Could you summarize this? ... just kidding :p
As far as I know about myself, I don't 'test' people, it's just nice to hear feedback and talk about subjects i'm personally vested in.

I take it you haven't told him your complaints?
I have told him some of my complaints but in ENFP fashion I was probably all over the place. But I did try something different in my conversation with him yesterday. I took out any discussion or mention of the word Feelings and after that dead silence on the drive home, he held my hand and looked over at me and sighed. lol. So I think some of what I said hit home with him. What I want to know Thomas, as an ENTJ male, how do you ascertain that the advice you are giving or suggestions that you are making to another is being entertained or considered? What types of physical cues, verbal? validation? I value the things he has to say, it's just hard for me to process immediately and apparently that looks like i'm indifferent and don't care but I really do!. Wow. I never thought I'd sound like an INTJ...lol "looks like i'm indifferent and don't care but I really do!" Ha. Thanks Thomas any advice would be helpful.
 

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What I want to know Thomas, as an ENTJ male, how do you ascertain that the advice you are giving or suggestions that you are making to another is being entertained or considered?.
1)If people take my suggestions and act on them, it tells me they take authoritative judgement.
2)If they question my suggestions (how/why/what if) then they are requesting me to help them entertain it and even if they disagree, they are more empowered to revisit and relearn in their own time if they find flaws in their own way.
3)If people (introverts) stop to think, then the thought seems to have been considered but I don't know the conclusion, so I'd ask to confirm.

Usually I don't set out to 'ascertain' these things in relationships unless there's a trust issue, it'll either be if I sense a request or if I wanted to train & coach. If you have to raise an issue that reflects on the perception of trust, it'll feel rather uncomfortable since apparently we don't like to raise doubt where there is none. Personally if I don't trust someone, it only means something when they ask me for favors/rely on them/mutual commitment etc otherwise it's their right to hide their intentions. If someone said they read a letter, then admitted later it was a half-truth I wouldn't even be phased unless it was established that I was relying on them; the "what this means about my attitude towards the relationship" thoughts won't occur, it's more like "oh, you skim past these sort of things, I just need to be clearer if needed" - typical N trait.
 
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:crying:
Why is he even with me if I am this poor creature girl thing that just needs to be fixed?
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(summarized from the Relation of Benefit description in Socionics)
ENTJs can see the ENFP's weaknesses. They often point out the weaknesses hoping to help their partner strengthen themselves. The ENFP in this situation usually rejects the advice for no good reason.

What to take from this: Try not to get hurt by your boyfriends seeming taunting. He comes from a place of good intentions. ENTJs really do find ENFPs special, and are one of the few types who can really strengthen them. Only if the ENFP in this situation is resilient in objective thinking and contemplates what the ENTJ is trying to say without judging through Fi and preemptively ignoring them.
 

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Discussion Starter #7
1)If people take my suggestions and act on them, it tells me they take authoritative judgement.
2)If they question my suggestions (how/why/what if) then they are requesting me to help them entertain it and even if they disagree, they are more empowered to revisit and relearn in their own time if they find flaws in their own way.
3)If people (introverts) stop to think, then the thought seems to have been considered but I don't know the conclusion, so I'd ask to confirm.
I think that is it! I need to not speak up even if I disagree. I'm thinking that ENTJs would rather hear what you have to say (sans tons of emotional stuff) so then they choose to adjust or not. Thanks Thomas that really helped a lot. *smiley face*
 

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Discussion Starter #8
(summarized from the Relation of Benefit description in Socionics)
ENTJs can see the ENFP's weaknesses. They often point out the weaknesses hoping to help their partner strengthen themselves. The ENFP in this situation usually rejects the advice for no good reason.

Yes, he keeps saying that, I see so much potential and you will just keep repeating the same mistakes. I hate to agree with this (rejects the advice for no good reason) but I do.. :/

What to take from this: Try not to get hurt by your boyfriends seeming taunting. He comes from a place of good intentions. ENTJs really do find ENFPs special, and are one of the few types who can really strengthen them. Only if the ENFP in this situation is resilient in objective thinking and contemplates what the ENTJ is trying to say without judging through Fi and preemptively ignoring them.
Thank you so much. I was so hesitant to even rant but it seems that it was the best thing I could do. Thanks Absyrd for taking the time out. I printed this advice out. haha.
 

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I think that is it! I need to not speak up even if I disagree.
No. Noone can take away from you that you might enjoy your way; freedom/flexibility/how you feel at the time. If what he says is logically correct then you can thank him for enlightening that 'there is another way available' yet not have to put it into action if doing it that way is not enjoyable/important at the moment.
 
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