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hey guys, i got kindoff an odd sitaution really, something which has been bugging me quite a lot.

Ive just done this test, and found it via another forum in which they said that it is all scientifically correct (the personality test which determintes your type), and when i red that i was an ISFJ, i taught.. yeah thats pretty much true.

i indeed do believe that we should help the weak, id just love to, i believe in strong tradition, i like nothing better then serving others and getting respect from them, the outcome text even compared us with mother therese and i do also have a strong sense of 'if you want to do things right, you got to do them yourself'.

but, to be honest... i have lived like this for a long while..

and i discovered that it just wasnt really working for me. traditions are no longer to be found, i am indeed introverted and dont seem to have a lot of friends, but i do have some good friends tough. When in groups like my class, when they make teams im usually if not always the one without a partner, people just dont seem to see me as intresting enough to work with..

i also always was a big fan of doing things the way i know, but other ways have often proven better. I was always motivated on my work as a designer, one of the professions which is recommend for us, because people would tell me "ohh what nice, youre so good at what you do!", but i dont get that anymore, and now work is just work and im no longer so motivated.

I usually love helping people, but the people i help are gratefull for a while, but after a while they forget about you and dont even speak to you anymore.. and i wonder.. is this my thanks?

i may be an ISFJ,.. but i just dream of the life where i have tons of friends,.. live carefree without restrictions like all the planning i put on myself... where i just dont care about others anymore and only myself,.. since they dont care about me either, and where i get my motivation back to get back to work..id just love to get my motivation from another source other then the acceptance of people and to impress them.

Is it normal for our kind of people to want to live a totally diffirent life? Or am i just the odd one out in this?
 

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I think what you have to understand is that all of this isn't about type, it's about personal acceptance of your pros and your ability to work on and improve your cons. The fact of the matter is that all 16 types have their strengths and weaknesses. You can clearly see that on PerC. It's like the whole "grass is greener" argument...you say you don't want to be an ISFJ, but if you were any other type, you'd have problems that that type has.


So the key thing is self-acceptance, first of all....I do think a lot of ISFJ's, including myself, struggle with that sometimes. And it's like you said, a lot of it comes from a feeling of not being appreciated and value, and a feeling of being taken for granted. It's because we're so steadfast, so diligent, and so nice that people get used to us. We don't demand attention, so they get used to us being there. If you look through the ISFJ forum, you'll see a lot of different threads about this kind of thing.



I think you have to remember though that type doesn't have to limit who you are and what you choose to do. You can still be an ISFJ and work on things that you don't like in your life. ISFJ's can stand up for themselves, can be more selfish, can fight for their own needs and beliefs, and can be social and have good relationships with people. Some of these things may go against our natural preferences, but that doesn't mean that we can't do them. After all, ISFJ's do have extroversion, intuition, thinking and perceiving...they're just not our preferences.



Keep in mind that other types can also suffer from the things you described. A lot of people get to the point where their jobs are un-fulfilling and they just do them for a paycheck, and a lot of people don't have tons and tons of friends. In fact, it's probably worse for an extrovert who's like that, since they get their energy from people.

The other thing is that there are problems that other people have that you don't, but that you just can't see. Things that wouldn't have even crossed your mind because you don't experience them. If you read some of the other types' forums on here, you'll see that.


So I've always felt like the starting point is confidence in yourself and focusing on all of your good traits. The more you do that, the happier you'll be, and the easier it will be to improve upon the things you don't like in your life.


Here's a thread a posted a while back that I've found to be quite helpful:

http://personalitycafe.com/isfj-forum-nurturers/26697-advice-isfjs.html




So basically...I think your feelings are common in ISFJ's but not unique to us. It can be hard sometimes, and life can be frustrating...but there are all kinds of good things in life, too, and I've kind of gone on a crazy roller roaster of emotions these last two years....over the last few months I've been on a major upswing after being pretty far down for almost a year. PerC has really helped me out a lot with that too.
 

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Hello Jackques :happy:

Is it normal for our kind of people to want to live a totally diffirent life? Or am i just the odd one out in this?
It is normal for anyone to feel like this, you are not alone

But remember that you are free

The only thing you HAVE to do is breathe

EVERYTHING else is a choice

From the moment you wake up in the morning and choose to get out of bed, to the people you choose to help on a daily basis who show no appreciation

There are no right and wrong choices, only the consequences of your actions

If you do not like the consequences that your choices have brought you to, choose a different path

Or better yet, find your own path

Pete Murray says it quite eloquently

"Life is short but you're here to flower"
 

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I think what you have to understand is that all of this isn't about type, it's about personal acceptance of your pros and your ability to work on and improve your cons. The fact of the matter is that all 16 types have their strengths and weaknesses. You can clearly see that on PerC. It's like the whole "grass is greener" argument...you say you don't want to be an ISFJ, but if you were any other type, you'd have problems that that type has.


So the key thing is self-acceptance, first of all....I do think a lot of ISFJ's, including myself, struggle with that sometimes. And it's like you said, a lot of it comes from a feeling of not being appreciated and value, and a feeling of being taken for granted. It's because we're so steadfast, so diligent, and so nice that people get used to us. We don't demand attention, so they get used to us being there. If you look through the ISFJ forum, you'll see a lot of different threads about this kind of thing.



I think you have to remember though that type doesn't have to limit who you are and what you choose to do. You can still be an ISFJ and work on things that you don't like in your life. ISFJ's can stand up for themselves, can be more selfish, can fight for their own needs and beliefs, and can be social and have good relationships with people. Some of these things may go against our natural preferences, but that doesn't mean that we can't do them. After all, ISFJ's do have extroversion, intuition, thinking and perceiving...they're just not our preferences.



Keep in mind that other types can also suffer from the things you described. A lot of people get to the point where their jobs are un-fulfilling and they just do them for a paycheck, and a lot of people don't have tons and tons of friends. In fact, it's probably worse for an extrovert who's like that, since they get their energy from people.

The other thing is that there are problems that other people have that you don't, but that you just can't see. Things that wouldn't have even crossed your mind because you don't experience them. If you read some of the other types' forums on here, you'll see that.


So I've always felt like the starting point is confidence in yourself and focusing on all of your good traits. The more you do that, the happier you'll be, and the easier it will be to improve upon the things you don't like in your life.


Here's a thread a posted a while back that I've found to be quite helpful:

http://personalitycafe.com/isfj-forum-nurturers/26697-advice-isfjs.html




So basically...I think your feelings are common in ISFJ's but not unique to us. It can be hard sometimes, and life can be frustrating...but there are all kinds of good things in life, too, and I've kind of gone on a crazy roller roaster of emotions these last two years....over the last few months I've been on a major upswing after being pretty far down for almost a year. PerC has really helped me out a lot with that too.
Teddy.....

There is nothing more I can add to that. Wow... your good. Continously you amaze me.
Can you adopt me???? Ahahahhahhaaa..... I'm very low mantenance. Hehehe.. being silly. Sorry Teddy.
 

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you say you don't want to be an ISFJ, but if you were any other type, you'd have problems that that type has.
^ This. Excellent post, BTW. Don't be embarassed or ashamed of what "type" you are. Teddy is SO right in that each type has their weaknesses AND their strengths. I admire ISFJ's for their concern for other people's feelings

In fact, if one of you could have bottled it up and given it to me before the fiasco that is my current "group project" at school, it probably would have helped.

ISTJ's have their own problems. Others see us as being robots or having ice for blood (which is patently untrue, but I'm disinclined from defending myself against someone who's already appointed themself as judge, jury, and executioner).
 

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The reality is we are changing all the time,
and if you want to change you can.

But I would think it be akin to swimming upstream....
 

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hey guys, i got kindoff an odd sitaution really, something which has been bugging me quite a lot.

Ive just done this test, and found it via another forum in which they said that it is all scientifically correct (the personality test which determintes your type), and when i red that i was an ISFJ, i taught.. yeah thats pretty much true.

i indeed do believe that we should help the weak, id just love to, i believe in strong tradition, i like nothing better then serving others and getting respect from them, the outcome text even compared us with mother therese and i do also have a strong sense of 'if you want to do things right, you got to do them yourself'.

but, to be honest... i have lived like this for a long while..

and i discovered that it just wasnt really working for me. traditions are no longer to be found, i am indeed introverted and dont seem to have a lot of friends, but i do have some good friends tough. When in groups like my class, when they make teams im usually if not always the one without a partner, people just dont seem to see me as intresting enough to work with..

i also always was a big fan of doing things the way i know, but other ways have often proven better. I was always motivated on my work as a designer, one of the professions which is recommend for us, because people would tell me "ohh what nice, youre so good at what you do!", but i dont get that anymore, and now work is just work and im no longer so motivated.

I usually love helping people, but the people i help are gratefull for a while, but after a while they forget about you and dont even speak to you anymore.. and i wonder.. is this my thanks?

i may be an ISFJ,.. but i just dream of the life where i have tons of friends,.. live carefree without restrictions like all the planning i put on myself... where i just dont care about others anymore and only myself,.. since they dont care about me either, and where i get my motivation back to get back to work..id just love to get my motivation from another source other then the acceptance of people and to impress them.

Is it normal for our kind of people to want to live a totally diffirent life? Or am i just the odd one out in this?
its hard out there for a male nurse...

my grandma is an isfj...shes very involved with religion. it seems to make her pretty happy when she isnt too worried about...awww garsh...going to hell

it provides her with friends and direction. btw she is the sweetest lady i ever done known. isfjs are great, good luck.
 
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