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co-miserate please

You could tell your worst stories.
We could agree life is meaningless and sad.
I don't know really.
We could co-misterate how I am above average intelligence but feel condescended to about stupid little shit all day long in my minmum wage jobs, about how people continually reject my thoughts and feelings as over-analytical so evne though I've had friends or people love me I feel it's not my "real self" and over time my relationships tend to break, we could talk about how lonely I feel right now, and how hard it is to explain myself and have people continually shoot me down, so I've given up on the goals I used to have, because I feel pretty much like my thoughts and experience do not matter to the world/anyone and I live a ghost life ghosting around doing work doing school feeling unfulfilled and sad, having relationships but no one really understands how ifeel cause they'd just tell me to "fix it then" or "stop over-analyzing things" or abandon me like most ppl do when I share neg. feelings... I get it, people are complicated, I don't expect anyone to be there unconditionally or true acceptance/understanding from others.
I had a boyfriend/friend who I used to feel true understanding and acceptance from but he ended up juding me and feeling I was overly analytical when I was suicidally depressed over the above.
Now I just feel kind of numb, how am I supposed to feel connected to anyone when it's conditional on me being what they want me to be?

I'm just very tired I want someone to understand some problems aren't fixable, I can be happy but my life feels so fake. This is one of those paradoxes I have to live with-- people are so alone. Nobody knows me, can really love me.
 

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I could tell you my worst stories.
We could agree on life being meaningless and sad.
I do know, really. I have been there.

But I would be lying if I would agree with you. Life certainly has it's sad sides, life can seem dull, dreary and meaningless, but life can also be rewarding, happy and full with meaningful activities. I realize your life is tough right now, I don't want to play down your feelings, but convincing yourself that life is sad and has no meaning is not going to help you feel any better nor is it going to make life any better. You have so much control over your own life, a lot more than you realize, but you have to take the iniative and be active in the things you want to change in your life.

You don't like how you are being treated at your job? Why stay there? Look for a different one. Keep your current job until you found it, which ensures you have income, but look around and see if you find something better. The economy is doing decent, lots of jobs are being added, so there are quite a few opportunities out there.

You can also exert influence over the people you meet, you just have to get yourself out there. Go to museums (I had the loveliest conversation about art in a gallery in Duluth), join a club, go to events/conferences about topics you are interested in. You might not find your next best friend there, but you might at least have a meaningful conversation about a subject you are passionate about. And who knows if somebody is willing to exchange phone-numbers and meet up with you.

Just telling you to 'fix it' or 'stop analyzing so much' is plain rude. If it was that easy, you would have probably fixed the problem by now. I can relate. Not so long ago I over-analyzed everything in my life, in a negative way, and my thought patterns were incredibly negative. But. I reached out for help, went to see a therapist, and now I am doing fine. I still think a lot, I am an intelligent human being....can't help it..., but I am not analyzing every little aspect of my life anymore and I am a lot more positive.

So you see, some problems are fixable. You can work on yourself. With or without help you can make yourself feel better. An egg that dropped on the floor cannot be fixed, but a person who is depressed certainly is fixable.
 

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I promise you there are unique solutions to your unique set of problems. There was to mine, and you sound about as unhappy and stuck as I was a couple years ago. Feeling completely unempowered academically, vocational, and relationally. Beaten down.

I gave up on my goals when I was around age seven. I dissociated my dreams and interests so thoroughly from my identity that getting back in touch with them was like experiencing, from what I can only imagine, the emergence of repressed memories. My interests were deeply rooted in shame (mainly I was told at some point "these interests are selfish and useless.") so my mind did intense acrobatics to subliminate and deny their existence

So, yeah, I know what it's like to have been told the very essence of what makes you you is bullshit. I know what it's like to be told this by teachers, family, the media, and so-called friends.

Try to get into a (positive) impersonal mindset to get creative juices flowing. People often think of creativity as emotionally driven but too much emotion can cause creative faculty to stagnate. I don't know if your enneagram is type 4, but this is especially true for 4s.
 

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If we are idealistic, then perhaps we need to have a framework to live our lives by. For some it can be religion, a set of values or something like humanism.

It must be very hard feeling that life has no meaning. Not everything in my life is good, for instance I live with chronic pain and suffer depression on and off since I was a kid. But no matter how bad my life gets I always have a bit of hope and a belief in a higher purpose.
 

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Sorry to hear this, but I feel ya.
Here's my perspective ... hope it makes any sense:

Agreed, sounds all so familiar, and wow did I have felt incredibly sad over the last months as well, more than ever, I was scared. I am doing better now, what I did was drop everything around me and start with an empty head, empty hands and an empty heart ... (for as far as I could keep the feelings/sorrow out of course)

Then I started to think about it, what do I have? and what gives me purpose or fulfilment?

First things first, education or a job, I need to save my own ass and make sure I can sustain myself. Working hard does not give guarantees or solid security, but it DOES create new opportunities to find happiness, fulfilment, purpose ... yes, it might take long, but there is hope in that. I don't know where I am going, but I know it counts.

Family, although they don't understand my feelings and maybe do not want to understand them because they are afraid of being powerless to influence them, I take them as how they are. They might not give me the emotional support, but I believe they genuinely want to help in whatever way that may be. If you can't ''talk'' to them, at least spend time with them anyway. Being busy, keeping your mind occupied even though it is just 20% of headspace that you have left for anything else except sadness, it will help.

Friends, there's no one friend that fully understand me and perfectly shares my perspectives, values, etc. I had my gf for this, but you know, she left me randomly ... because apparently that is called ''life''. Nothing has to make sense, it will happen anyway, or not. All the more reason to find the power and happiness first in yourself, even though I highly dislike that idea. I'm focused on other people, helping them, finding fulfilment in them ... but again you first need to help yourself. Oh ironic ..

I have friends with different qualities, I can have fun with the one, but if I need to talk and be better understood I have to go to another. This is not a problem, take friends/family/acquaintances for who they are and make each other feel better by sharing your corresponding qualities with them.
However if I can't find someone for a particular quality or need, I will try to look for them. Meeting new people, very important! :) You will be surprised. I'm still busy doing this and it is not easy, but I just know that there's very interesting likeminded people walking around that will make my life more interesting and better as well. Life can change for the worse or better on ye, but sometimes this trade-off is off balance, spamming you only with bad stuff, it tears you apart.

If you manage to hold on and be strong, you get confidence and a good feeling from that as well. Also counts ...
If you can, postpone your fulfilment and purpose issues for now and really try to focus day by day on your feelings and thoughts. Have a treat or try talking to that stranger and see what happens. Exercise? Work on your body, be healthier.

Do things you wouldn't do normally ... (just not bank robberies and car hijacking, i know it is exciting and all but you know ... doesn't help you)

If you are really down then nothing will make sense or sounds appealing, I understand this. But try to be stubborn and start with any of this nonetheless. Positive stubbornness is my friend.
 
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That was so tough to read, actually brought tears to my eyes. You sound so hopeless..

I think you need to find an outlet for expression of yourself, maybe write down your feelings everyday or write poetry or create music or draw pictures. They may seem like meaningless things but through those outlets you can get more in touch with your own 'soul' and connect this more closely with your actions and expression. Then the connection with others will slowly but surely feel more genuine and meaningful. But you have to try to find yourself and love yourself. Love yourself - so so important.

I think it would help you to imagine what you were like as a child, or better maybe watch some footage of you when you were younger or look at a photograph. As you imagine/watch yourself when you were younger, notice the similarities between how you were then and now, you still are as naive and innocent as you were back then. Its easy to love a younger version of yourself because youraelf is not clouded by the pressure of being older, but you need to try your best to realise the child is still there and you should still love it. This gives you a more clear idea of who you were meant to be.

And finally if you are depressed don't hesitate to get some professional help.

Good luck ;)
 

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it seems like you just need to find "the right person"

Friends/partners can be hell if it's the wrong ones.........

Anyways I can totally relate with you so you aren't alone .

It looks like you just need to find the right person. And sometimes I know Romantic love isn't everything.

I spend time with my brother too. They support me in my lonely times it's really comforting.

I think you should do that too.
 

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My INFP friend is feeling low in the same kind of way; she just wants people to like her for her; can anyone explain this to me? I like her presence...no, I like her honesty...no, I like her sense of humour / loyalty / whatever...Nope. She just kept saying she wants to be liked for her...

How do I get this particular emotional point *into* my dumb head, please? Can anyone give me an analogy?

And how do I then express it to her at a later date?
 

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I WILL LOVE YOU

Climb aboard my noble steed


(Actually though, don't give up. I used to think this way too- just find people who are like you and befriend them. They're far more common than you think.)
 

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My INFP friend is feeling low in the same kind of way; she just wants people to like her for her; can anyone explain this to me? I like her presence...no, I like her honesty...no, I like her sense of humour / loyalty / whatever...Nope. She just kept saying she wants to be liked for her...

How do I get this particular emotional point *into* my dumb head, please? Can anyone give me an analogy?

And how do I then express it to her at a later date?
Say "you're not perfect, I love you". It's like a country. If you love America (sorry, I lolled), you can say you love the hotdogs, and the hamburgers, and the football, and the universities- the traits of America. But it seems to imply you wouldn't love America without those things (lolol). So just tell her you love her and not why- say you love her unconditionally. Unless, you know, she's like a serial killer or something

Fearing the day my INFP sister starts doing this, at least I've got this so I can say I've done research :kitteh:
 

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well if it helps i love you. i relate to what you're saying a lot and it can be a hard problem to tackle however as pearslug said, one possible solution is to ultimately learn how to love yourself. it's a paradox that is only uncomfortable to deal with because you want to add definition to that perspective using some form of logic or rationality by discretely dividing things into paths where no discrete solution is exists. regardless of how things are defined no conclusion will make sense so trying to rationalise things in such a way results in the problem being unsolvable.
either approach the problem without defining it or re-evaluate your perspective of the problem to fit to your goals regardless of whether or not the perspective is "realistic" or not. in other words if no discrete solution exists to the problem then the problem based on your current perspective does not exist. otherwise, the best that can be done within the same perspective is to accept that anything you choose to do is wrong and/or anything you choose to do is right thus accepting no answer.

on one hand you want to show your real self and want others to appreciate you for who you are so you can form some kind of real connection. on the other hand this shows a rigidity based on how you want to connect with people. you have defined a way you want to interact with people narrowing experiences down to specifics evidently showing that you're ignoring a lot of other factor or things that you could growth from which are of a different form from what you're looking for. by trying to manipulate the flow of things or exposing aspects of yourself that others may not be receptive of, you're disabling other people from feeling a connection based on how they like connecting with people. so instead you compromise yourself and end up feeling hollow much like a ghost. without any way of directing the flow or placing any of your own definitions on things you feel you have no mark on the world and therefore you do not exist. as a consequence of people having different needs and perspectives on things can seem like a bit of a stalemate with no way to win.

what is it that you actually love or appreciate about people when you connect with them? YOU enjoy time with them, they make YOU feel important, YOU value who they are as a person. all the criteria comes from you so in a sense the love and appreciation comes from you and you are primarily in control of whether you connect or you don't regardless of how the other person appears. you may see beauty in the world as the world matches your own experience of beauty from within. the other person can be seen as merely a projection of yourself, reflecting what you think feel and appreciate. therefore becoming more in tune with this aspect of you and expanding on what you value and how you value things will open you up to feeling more connected with other people. the more beauty you see in yourself the more you can see in others.

alternatively loose focus of what you're searching for, stop searching, enjoy the moment and appreciate them "for the sake of appreciation". within what others define as how they connect to you, find a connection with them. if they're connecting with you they're appreciating the qualities of you which reflect aspects of them and as a reflection of them you can find a way to connect with them. others may not experience the problems in as much depth as you do because they may be less self aware in this regard. it's like flowing with things until you get to somewhere else by accepting the paradox and lack of discreteness. if you trust and allow the flow of things to take you where you want to be it will probably take you there.

no one is ever really going to "understand" you so be weary that any solution they give you may not be catered towards you. it can't be said as to whether most people love the same or through the same process either. the best you can do is trust your feelings and reject what doesn't feel natural to you. whether they really understand you is sort of redundant though. maybe this might help, it's somewhat a spiritual view based on my past experience. take care lots of love.
 

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My INFP friend is feeling low in the same kind of way; she just wants people to like her for her; can anyone explain this to me? I like her presence...no, I like her honesty...no, I like her sense of humour / loyalty / whatever...Nope. She just kept saying she wants to be liked for her...

How do I get this particular emotional point *into* my dumb head, please? Can anyone give me an analogy?

And how do I then express it to her at a later date?
You *are* a glutton for punishment, aren't you? I thought you swore off INFPs *years ago*. :frustrating: :dry:
 

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My INFP friend is feeling low in the same kind of way; she just wants people to like her for her; can anyone explain this to me? I like her presence...no, I like her honesty...no, I like her sense of humour / loyalty / whatever...Nope. She just kept saying she wants to be liked for her...

How do I get this particular emotional point *into* my dumb head, please? Can anyone give me an analogy?

And how do I then express it to her at a later date?
First, I think it's fantastic you can articulate to someone WHY you like them. I know that I really appreciate specific compliments. That said...

I will admit that INFPs tend to have a nasty habit of devaluing what is good about themselves, and it may be a result of an inferior Te voice in their head (nothing about them measures up to some objective standard, which they may experience as rather distorted).
So you may say they are "funny", and now "funny" is just frivolous. Some of this stems rom devaluing something by relating to how needs are met, so it's like, "I'm funny, but it's not making my life any happier or accomplishing anything significant, so what value does it really have?". You cannot do much with a person like this... They are in a mental pattern that they must break themselves. It did help me to realize that devaluing compliments from others devalues their opinion, and unfairly discrediting another's viewpoint is something most INFPs dont want to do.

The next possibility is that the qualities being complimented simply are not a part of the INFP's identity. True, they may be honest or loyal, etc, and perhaps they are somewhat gratified to hear it; but that is not what their inner ideal self is built around. It may even include that (in the sense that they would not want to be something at the expense of stuff like honesty or loyalty), but it's probably not a defining feature.

I am most gratified when people hit on the aspects about myself that I see as legitimately good and perhaps which distinguish me from others, and often these were formed in youth. So growing up, I was book-smart and artistically inclined and had some insight beyond my years. Getting sincere compliments on my creativity, intelligence and insight is more gratifying to me than some other compliments. If I sense someone is aggrandizing me in order to play to my ego, then I won't believe it, of course.

This is a pretty decent article another poster has been linking around here lately....
INFP vs INFJ: 5 Surprising Differences To Tell Them Apart : Personality Hacker

It's about how INFPs and INFJs differ, but the point about why INFPs ARE misunderstood (not just FEELING that way) is touched on. It has more to do with feeling invalidated by the world than having every facet of our nature grasped. Finding ways to compliment an INFP which validates their approach to life and viewpoint may work well. An e4w5 may be gratified to have it noted they can grasp complex things and create aesthetic beauty and higher meaning in life, as opposed to being seen as frivolous in intellectual and artistic pursuits; 9s may want to be noted for their sincere kindness and strength in a peaceful nature, as opposed to being written off as weak or passive.

Pretty much with anyone, INFP or not, validating their ego will sit well with them.

LASTLY, and this is a big one and perhaps the most likely - In complimenting someone for a specific trait (which I think is GREAT at times), it may seem as if you are saying, "I like you when you are ____, but not if you are not." Since no person is perfectly consistent and will always have a flipside to the good traits that are bad traits, it is inevitable they will not live up to any idealized image of themselves (to themselves or to others). In short, they could be saying, "I need to know you accept the BAD with the good to feel that you truly care for me as a whole, individual being, and not just for certain qualities which benefit you."

Relationships which appear to be based on people caring for someone because that person benefits them (ie loving someone because of how they make you feel or what they do for you, not for WHO they are; but of course, the two are related) can look like shallow exchanges to some INFPs. It reduces the relationship to some trade of personal favors. A valuing of someone which is more about their individual, intrinsic person can strike the INFP as more authentic and not pressure to meet some criteria in order to be loved/valued.

Well, I hope some of that helps ;)
 

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First, I think it's fantastic you can articulate to someone WHY you like them. I know that I really appreciate specific compliments. That said...
First of all, many thanks for this reply. It has been making me think and that need to reflect and ponder has made me slow to reply to you, for which I apologise. When I first read it I thought 'oh yes, that's obvious,' but when I stop to think about it it's just sufficiently different from how I think to be '*almost* as familiar as the back of my hand' and that's been quite tricky to get my head around. in places I feel as though I'm splitting hairs, but the back of *your* hand just isn't quite the same as the back of *my* hand, and the difference is both subtle and profound. I'm interested in why it's different.

I will admit that INFPs tend to have a nasty habit of devaluing what is good about themselves, and it may be a result of an inferior Te voice in their head (nothing about them measures up to some objective standard, which they may experience as rather distorted).
Now I have a Te voice which generally says that I'm right, so I have a tendency to overvalue myself by contrast. Now I think that is because society tends to value (= pay big salaries to) high Te, among other marketable skills. Even undeveloped Te is usually rewarded and encouraged to develop. The inner authenticity which is characteristic of Fi tends to go unrewarded and so I suppose that devaluing becomes internalised over time. But I like it that my friend knows 'who' she is, to the level of being able to say what is or isn't good about herself. Doing that about myself would scare me because most of the confidence I have in being me is a bunch of internalised positive feedback based on other people's Te praising viewpoint; I'm now old enough to figure out that many people have been praised in the same way as me, so I'm left wondering what makes *me* unique...which is doubtless undeveloped Fi. She knows she is unique but doesn't think she is valuable. I know I'm valuable for the learnt Te but I think anyone could have learnt it so I'm not unique. It's a fascinating difference.

So you may say they are "funny", and now "funny" is just frivolous. Some of this stems rom devaluing something by relating to how needs are met, so it's like, "I'm funny, but it's not making my life any happier or accomplishing anything significant, so what value does it really have?". You cannot do much with a person like this... They are in a mental pattern that they must break themselves. It did help me to realize that devaluing compliments from others devalues their opinion, and unfairly discrediting another's viewpoint is something most INFPs dont want to do.
Yes, this made huge sense, that a compliment could be stretched to an unintended and ultimately meaningless shape because it could not have been intended as its face value. This hit me somewhere in my stomach, if I'm honest. I mean my compliments fair and square on the nose of their definition, usually, and I make efforts to refine them as well. I put quite a lot of 'looking' and then some descriptive thought into choosing the right words. But yes, I can see the rejection of them as non-useful or non-relevant to the INFPs inner values or aims. That's helpful to know. But for *me* saying what I actually *see* is in itself an act of love, and she is completely missing that. I can't alter what I see in order to compliment her because then my seeing would become inauthentic.

The next possibility is that the qualities being complimented simply are not a part of the INFP's identity. True, they may be honest or loyal, etc, and perhaps they are somewhat gratified to hear it; but that is not what their inner ideal self is built around. It may even include that (in the sense that they would not want to be something at the expense of stuff like honesty or loyalty), but it's probably not a defining feature.

I am most gratified when people hit on the aspects about myself that I see as legitimately good and perhaps which distinguish me from others, and often these were formed in youth. So growing up, I was book-smart and artistically inclined and had some insight beyond my years. Getting sincere compliments on my creativity, intelligence and insight is more gratifying to me than some other compliments. If I sense someone is aggrandizing me in order to play to my ego, then I won't believe it, of course.
I hear you on this - just very occasionally I get tiny twinges of this, when someone hits a compliment at me which is about me as a person, which is apt and which chimes with my aims as a person. It doesn't happen often, partly because my aims are generally private (often even private from myself), because generally I get complimented on what I've done or said rather than on who I am, and because most of my friends don't look very deeply...I will give you that it's a weird feeling to be known, though...do you actually *like* being *seen* in this way?

This is a pretty decent article another poster has been linking around here lately....
INFP vs INFJ: 5 Surprising Differences To Tell Them Apart : Personality Hacker
Thanks. I read it and it was very interesting. It confirmed in my head that a different friend is an INFJ. I had not been sure about her but the emotional sponging is exactly what she does.

It's about how INFPs and INFJs differ, but the point about why INFPs ARE misunderstood (not just FEELING that way) is touched on. It has more to do with feeling invalidated by the world than having every facet of our nature grasped. Finding ways to compliment an INFP which validates their approach to life and viewpoint may work well. An e4w5 may be gratified to have it noted they can grasp complex things and create aesthetic beauty and higher meaning in life, as opposed to being seen as frivolous in intellectual and artistic pursuits; 9s may want to be noted for their sincere kindness and strength in a peaceful nature, as opposed to being written off as weak or passive.
That's interesting. I thought the article was saying that it was more about validating their *intent* for an INFP than about their ability. This is a point of profound difference for me. I know enough of my friend to know that there is plenty about her which I don't know. So how can I say I like *all* of her, which is what the blank 'I like you' implies? her insides seem to me to turn into mush and bog, so I don't know what she will do next and what she does is often successful but this appears to be a surprise to her, or it requires her to use life skills which are not intrinsic to her nature, such as being organised or planning in advance... and when she is low as she is at the moment, her intent is what disappears and she loses motivation to do anything beyond the necessary anyway. But what she does and doesn't do doesn't change my liking for her one whit; it might make me admire her if she achieves something but mostly I like the way she goes about things, that demonstrates aspects of her personality which I like. I mean, I like the interplay between the struggle and her good humour, or someone awkward and her persistence with them, or lack of resources and her ingenuity, or her unexpected wisdom when I'm in trouble. Do you see? The compliment is specific to the situation as well as to her; in one case she is patient, but in another situation she produces courage or in a third case humour. It's like watching the sea in all its moods and sometimes there are aspects of that sea which I might not find an affinity with; it hasn't happened much or often at all but I'd be careful of the blanket statement 'I like the sea in all its moods'. I like the interplay between us and that is always moment-specific and never general. What to do?

Pretty much with anyone, INFP or not, validating their ego will sit well with them.

LASTLY, and this is a big one and perhaps the most likely - In complimenting someone for a specific trait (which I think is GREAT at times), it may seem as if you are saying, "I like you when you are ____, but not if you are not." Since no person is perfectly consistent and will always have a flipside to the good traits that are bad traits, it is inevitable they will not live up to any idealized image of themselves (to themselves or to others). In short, they could be saying, "I need to know you accept the BAD with the good to feel that you truly care for me as a whole, individual being, and not just for certain qualities which benefit you."
Yes. She and I are well past the stage of mutual benefit, I think we would both see that as shallow compared to what we have. But she will say this about other people...I'd rather have G with all his/her faults (which we have just been discussing) than someone who was <different negative attribute>. This drives me bonkers logically. I just don't compute it. The fictional person isn't *on* the real world options list in the first place. Secondly I don't *know* whether I'd prefer the different negative attribute but I'd need time to consider it, and I might do. Thirdly a change sometimes *is* as good as a rest, so I probably *would* choose the new person whatever their unknown faults might be (and how would their faults be known in advance and anyway the new situation would show them in a different light, since the situation would *not* repeat anyway, the new person's very presence would affect it...) and fourthly this is usually spoken as a completely *obvious* platitude which is clearly intended to bring the discussion to a close. It hits right into my Te as you can see. And what I want to know is how to improve life with G, not anything hypothetical intended to make me feel better about the present situation. I'd rather she said 'at least G isn't lying openly...or something. Whew. That one really got me going.

Relationships which appear to be based on people caring for someone because that person benefits them (ie loving someone because of how they make you feel or what they do for you, not for WHO they are; but of course, the two are related) can look like shallow exchanges to some INFPs. It reduces the relationship to some trade of personal favors. A valuing of someone which is more about their individual, intrinsic person can strike the INFP as more authentic and not pressure to meet some criteria in order to be loved/valued.

Well, I hope some of that helps ;)
Yes, it certainly did. And thank you for your remarks. They threw light of a new colour onto my bewilderment. In places I feel my frustration is justified, and you have given me words to help me discuss that with her. And in places you have made me move a little closer to recognising that although I don't actually know every face of the sea, perhaps I could I tell her that I like it... :)

So yes. Thanks.
 

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You *are* a glutton for punishment, aren't you? I thought you swore off INFPs *years ago*. :frustrating: :dry:
She is one of my longest-term friends. I can't let the small matter of MBTI type be a deal-breaker... :)
 

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co-miserate please

You could tell your worst stories.
We could agree life is meaningless and sad.
I don't know really.
We could co-misterate how I am above average intelligence but feel condescended to about stupid little shit all day long in my minmum wage jobs, about how people continually reject my thoughts and feelings as over-analytical so evne though I've had friends or people love me I feel it's not my "real self" and over time my relationships tend to break, we could talk about how lonely I feel right now, and how hard it is to explain myself and have people continually shoot me down, so I've given up on the goals I used to have, because I feel pretty much like my thoughts and experience do not matter to the world/anyone and I live a ghost life ghosting around doing work doing school feeling unfulfilled and sad, having relationships but no one really understands how ifeel cause they'd just tell me to "fix it then" or "stop over-analyzing things" or abandon me like most ppl do when I share neg. feelings... I get it, people are complicated, I don't expect anyone to be there unconditionally or true acceptance/understanding from others.
I had a boyfriend/friend who I used to feel true understanding and acceptance from but he ended up juding me and feeling I was overly analytical when I was suicidally depressed over the above.
Now I just feel kind of numb, how am I supposed to feel connected to anyone when it's conditional on me being what they want me to be?

I'm just very tired I want someone to understand some problems aren't fixable, I can be happy but my life feels so fake. This is one of those paradoxes I have to live with-- people are so alone. Nobody knows me, can really love me.
Take it from a guy who tried suicide twice, there's only 1 problem that's unfixable: that is death. Once your body packs in, you're fucked.
But everything else is very fixable.

You got likeminded folks here who care. Don't let your dream die (what is your dream anyway?)

Bear one thing in mind: everybody has their limitations. Everybody has their faults.
One guy I knew at Uni, most likely ESTP, I actually respected & looked up to him somewhat. Then in my last year, he snorts a load of Mephedrone in the toilet, and offers me some too. So stupid.
And that is why despite supposedly being a 'hit' with the ladies, he was incapable of holding down a relationship longer term.
Nobody has it all. It's about finding your niche.

And this is probably a little too sentimental, even for me, but love comes when you least expect it.
 
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