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Discussion Starter #1
I can't choose between these two stackings. I'm sure that I'm a social first,but it's very difficult to understand what is my blind-spot. Can you help me,please?
 

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Social/Sexual

This is overall the “lightest” type Four when it comes to social interaction. They are likely to utilize charm and humor. This type is more scattered and can be down right disorganized. They can drift through life always feeling like an outsider, yet they usually have friends. They can alternate from being the life of the party to withdrawing. Intimates will know of their insecurities and dark moody side while acquaintances will see a softer, friendlier side. This subtype’s energy is geared towards people, but they never feel as though they really fit in. They are often quite creative, talented people who have many interests, but they frequently lack the energy to actually accomplish what they would like. They can drift and withdraw very easily. When healthy and with the right support from friends (and perhaps a little push) they tap into their instinctual energy. When they do this, they begin to see how much they can accomplish. A positive connection to others helps them stay focused.








Social/Self-pres

This subtype can mimic type One when it comes to social values. They can be harsh critics of the current mores. They have romantic ideals of what the world should be like; reality always falls short. Ironically, this type can be the most withdrawn of the Fours. Social anxiety combines with the Four’s shame issues to make this type feel that the pressure associated with “fitting in” is just not worth it. They are also the most likely of the Fours to intellectualize their emotions and in this way resemble type Five.

The social instinct tends to give the personality a focus on being included, fitting in, or finding a way to make a valued contribution. This agenda conflicts with the Four’s sense of being “different from” or “other than.” The Four’s need to establish a separate identity conflicts with the social instinct’s drive towards inclusion. The social Four often deals with this dilemma by defining themselves as being outside the social system. By defining themselves always in terms of the system, even if it is to establish distance, this Four stays essentially tied to it. Fours with the social/self-pres stacking tend to acutely feel a sense of social shame at not quite belonging.

When this subtype is reasonably healthy, they are often gifted critics of the prevailing culture. They develop true insight into social dynamics and have an eye for the nuances and subtleties of social interactions. Many Four writers are soc/self.





Funny thing is if you are So/Sx then you are pretty much like me, Same exact MBTI enneagram tri type and instinct stack. What's up twin!
 

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Discussion Starter #3
Social/Sexual

This is overall the “lightest” type Four when it comes to social interaction. They are likely to utilize charm and humor.
This type is more scattered and can be down right disorganized. They can drift through life always feeling like an outsider, yet they usually have friends. They can alternate from being the life of the party to withdrawing. Intimates will know of their insecurities and dark moody side while acquaintances will see a softer, friendlier side. This subtype’s energy is geared towards people, but they never feel as though they really fit in. They are often quite creative, talented people who have many interests, but they frequently lack the energy to actually accomplish what they would like. They can drift and withdraw very easily. When healthy and with the right support from friends (and perhaps a little push) they tap into their instinctual energy. When they do this, they begin to see how much they can accomplish. A positive connection to others helps them stay focused .








Social/Self-pres

This subtype can mimic type One when it comes to social values. They can be harsh critics of the current mores. They have romantic ideals of what the world should be like; reality always falls short. Ironically, this type can be the most withdrawn of the Fours. Social anxiety combines with the Four’s shame issues to make this type feel that the pressure associated with “fitting in” is just not worth it . They are also the most likely of the Fours to intellectualize their emotions and in this way resemble type Five.

The social instinct tends to give the personality a focus on being included, fitting in, or finding a way to make a valued contribution. This agenda conflicts with the Four’s sense of being “different from” or “other than.” The Four’s need to establish a separate identity conflicts with the social instinct’s drive towards inclusion. The social Four often deals with this dilemma by defining themselves as being outside the social system. By defining themselves always in terms of the system, even if it is to establish distance, this Four stays essentially tied to it. Fours with the social/self-pres stacking tend to acutely feel a sense of social shame at not quite belonging.

When this subtype is reasonably healthy, they are often gifted critics of the prevailing culture. They develop true insight into social dynamics and have an eye for the nuances and subtleties of social interactions. Many Four writers are soc/self.





Funny thing is if you are So/Sx then you are pretty much like me, Same exact MBTI enneagram tri type and instinct stack. What's up twin!
I relate with the parts in bold. Anyway, how do you understand that you are a so/sx?
 

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I relate with the parts in bold. Anyway, how do you understand that you are a so/sx?
I understood it once I read the So/Sx description. Almost every single word in there describes me.

The being the life of the party than withdrawing bit, I used to think maybe it's just because I was having a bad day, and it usually was but I never thought it would be described that way, the phenomenon to me was strange, going from super happy go lucky bringing joy to the environment, to one day just quickly shutting down and talking to no one leaving everyone asking "You alright man? You're not yourself." Sometimes I would withdraw just to see if people cared and wondered about me. Manipulative? Perhaps. Reassuring? Definetely. I guess I just wanted to know if things would mater if I was there or not, and sometimes it seems like it does, which is a niec feeling. I like knowing that people like what I bring to the table, which is usually silly antics, laughs, and jokes.

Also the public seeing the friendlier side and friends seeing the darker insecure moody side. Oh god if you asked my friends they would confirm this for me. When I am around a group of people, I feel like I sort of have to entertain folks, for my own pleasure though of course because I like being a source of joy for people, joking making them laugh with self deprecating humor, but sometimes the self decprecating humor is there to hide some internal sadness that I want to secrelty talk about but don't want to bring anybody down with so I express it in the form of jokes so it makes them laugh instead of bringing their mood down. But with my friends I will randomly text them about how much my life sucks and other problems, to the point that they think I am suicidal sometimes XD. Like they have to deal with all the dark feelings I have that I cannot express to other people, that's how I treat ppl close to me LOL.

And that's why I think I am a "light" four, because in public you only see the happy go lucky persona that is there to make you laugh and enjoy your time around me. In public I am not as angsty or depressed as other type 4 descriptions sound, I am not as intense in group settings.

Also the needing to be pushed by the people around you to believe you can do something, oh god when I read that I felt that one. When I am in an environment where people love my happy go lucky personality and feel better when I am around it makes me feel like I am special and can accomplish big things lol, and usually when people push me to do something I usuallly believe I can't do but really want to do it is much appreciated and I actually look for that in people.

Also my I usually experience my Sx sometimes when I am attracted to a person so much I can't look at them because the feelings are too intense, or when I am trying to chase a feeling, usually without catching it, but a feeling I got from a song I once heard or thing I once did, but after the first time I hear the song or do the thing that initial spark of feeling is gone, I spend much time trying to chase it back tho, to get that intensity that makes me feel alive back.

And I suck with money management and putting my needs over my wants, which I think is Sp?
I also get bored REAL quick when any conversation takes a "So I ran a mile this morning and ate a quinoa salad, and health health health....etc". Like I subconsiously tune out those conversations, I try to pay attention because I know health is important, but juicing, quinoa, kale, vegan diets, running, weight, ugh, just tell me the easy way to lose fat that's all I need to know, not the exotic fruits you put in a blender with your protein supplement. UGH!
So if all that's Sp stuff, yea, idc. Though I do like conversations about money management,but I am always on the learning side of those conversations and I always feel like I won't be very good at maintaining a routine to manage money.

Idk, just that so/sx description is so good because I used to think I was So/Sp until I read that So/Sx one and it was just like BAM! Weird things I do explained lol.
 

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Discussion Starter #5
I'm a more introverted version of you. I don't know if I am the life of the party, but I surely do a lot of stupid jokes,shitpost and black humor. Only my closest friends know my darker side and insecureties. And yeah,I hate when people talk about food,fitness,furniture or money saving. Who the fuck cares? Lol
 

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Thanks Lord Pixel. I have been thinking of myself as a sx/--, but what you posted about so/sx seems right on for me. I thought all fours were disorganized and didn't have the energy to accomplish their imagined goals. Next I'd like to find some advice on how to succeed with this orientation!
 
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