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I can't seem to figure out what my type is, and I'm quite curious. Everything seems to contradict everything else, and the surveys don't work too well. Help would be appreciated. Apologies for the sentence fragments and iffy capitalization.

Main Questions

1. What drives you in life? What do you look for?
I often answer this question unhesitatingly with two answers: Helping and learning, in no particular order. The learning is unquestionable. I like information and systems and the way the world works, and feel fulfilled when I try to understand things. I think that the helping thing comes from a) I like making things function. B) It gives me something to do/ something to care about. c) I enjoy giving part of myself to someone or something else.

2. What do you hope to accomplish in your life?
This question has been taking me a long time. Something positive for others or for something other than me. I want to genuinely help. Recognition would be nice too. I need a purpose before this happens, though. I don’t really have an idea of what I actually want to do in specific terms. I’m fine with that, but still like to think a lot about what I want to do. I also want to be able to learn from everybody.

3. What do you hope to avoid doing or being? What values are important to you?
I don’t want to be a burden. I don’t want to leave behind more bad than good for future generations. I don’t want to live a mediocre life. I don’t want to be pretentious or self-righteous. Decency, curiosity, the right balance between pragmatism and idealism, and grin-and-bear-it attitudes (only to some degree of course) are important to me. I’m probably missing some.

4. What are your biggest fears (not including phobias)? Why?
1. Acting on my religious views. They are very conflicting, because I chose to become religious as a child and kind of stayed that way, even if my present ideas don’t quite match up. Even though I believe that truth is not the most important thing, a part of me still wants it. Also, being religious can be inconvenient. I like the rules, though, they give me structure I don’t have anywhere else. Sort of a challenge. Acting on my present religious (or lack of religious) views would mean leaving that structure behind, so I kind of just avoid contemplating too hard about the action bit.
2. The future of humankind, because many things are going downhill. I mean, many things are going uphill too, but are trajectory is rather self-destructive. I mean, the STUPIDNESS of it all. And I’m afraid and angry because I am incapable of changing it more than a tiny bit, and in all likelihood I’m stupid as well.

5. How do you want others to see you? How do you see yourself?
I want others to see me as likable and dependable and intelligent and moderately pretty and a nice person. I also like being seen as having a good sense of humour.
I see myself differently depending on my mood, so that’s not easy to answer. I usually see myself in a positive light, except for my attitudes towards others which I regularly feel annoyed at myself about.

6. What makes you feel your best? What makes you feel your worst?
I feel my best when I’m formulating an idea or thinking or conversing with somebody I am comfortable with about something interesting or if I am reading a book. Especially when I am outside around nature.
I feel my worst when I’m in uncomfortable social situations or after days of lethargy (during holidays and that kind of thing.) Both make me feel useless, and both have this downward spiral of being annoyed with myself for not talking to people/not doing anything worthwhile.

7. Describe how you experience each of: a) anger; b) shame; c) anxiety.
a) I rarely feel heated anger at people, except for siblings and parents. Even then, sometimes in the back of my mind, I will wonder if it is useful and stop myself. I’m almost incapable of holding grudges. My anger is almost always snapping at people or impulsive things which I feel bad about afterwards. I don’t really resent people. The most anger I feel is anger at things I can’t change, which I kind of repress to avoid dealing with it.
b) I feel shame when I do something dishonest and somebody calls me out on it, which I suppose is when people usually feel shame. My shame is momentary, and I move past it quickly to think about how I can do better in the future. Once I’ve apologized sincerely about the wrong I’ve done, I can move past the shame easily.
c) My anxiety is usually about the future, like many other people in high school. I overthink things I am anxious about. I also get some social anxiety if I really do not want to interact with someone, but I usually push through it. I’ve become quite good at calming anxious thoughts by reminding myself that in the long run, little is important. The only time my anxiety actually stops me is when I am in a situation when I should confront someone, but am too nervous to.
8. Describe how you respond to each of: a) stress; b) unexpected change; c) conflict.
a) I do okay under stress, although I am not as polite. I hyperfocus on whatever I need to do and work efficiently, but I also snap at people and am unhelpful. I think clearly under stress when I remind myself to be calm. In a crisis, I tend to be the most clear-minded person present. I sometimes become control-freaky at that point.
b) I don’t have a problem with unexpected change. I like to go with the flow, and I’m quite flexible. The only unexpected changes I don’t do well with are when people suddenly act differently.
c) Conflict bothers me. Sometimes I can’t see why people can’t just DARNGOSH GET ALONG. I really like having debates and playing devil’s advocate, but when the conflict becomes more than just friendly debate I usually sit quietly and either avoid or only give opinions when asked.

9. Describe your orientation to: a) authority; b) power. How do you respond to these?
a) I often see sole authority as work, so I don’t usually immediately volunteer to take it. I feel that authority works best if shared. If I have a degree of expertise in something, I am happy to help out whoever has questions, but I usually avoid taking the steering wheel. I do enjoy taking authority in small-scale situations and I feel as if I do well at delegating. Under stress, I can become bossy and take authority.
b) Power has little appeal to me. As much as I sometimes admire people with power, it isn’t something I want.

10. What is your overall outlook on life and humanity?
I don’t know what the meaning of life is or if there is a meaning, but I choose to imbue life with some sort of significance anyway. I like life. I think that humanity is beautiful and fragile, but also very powerful. It is fascinating and scary how people in large groups react to things. It is usually slightly sad and upsetting how it usually doesn’t work out well. Humanity still has enormous potential for growth.


12. Comment on your relationship with trust.
I trust many people with information some people would only trust with good friends, but I trust very intimate things which most people would trust to good friends with almost nobody.
I trust people in general. I don’t think that anybody is out to get me. I show a reasonable degree of caution and let it fall away as I get to know people. If somebody breaks my trust I get angry at myself for trusting them in the first place.

14. What do you see or notice in others that most people don't?
I can notice things about people’s personalities before they even speak which a lot of people aren’t able to see. I’m especially sensitive to sniffing out high-strung people.
 

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You come across as a clear cut 9w1 to me. At first I thought you were either a 6 or a 2; but looking at your description, you really seem to not have a strong sense of preference in many of the deep passions and fears associated with each of the other types.

"We have sometimes called the Nine
the crown of the Enneagram because it is at the top of the symbol and because it seems to include the whole of it. Nines can have the strength of Eights, the sense of fun and adventure of Sevens, the dutifulness of Sixes, the intellectualism of Fives, the creativity of Fours, the attractiveness of Threes, the generosity of Twos, and the idealism of Ones. However, what they generally do not have is a sense of really inhabiting themselves—a strong sense of their own identity."
-Enneagram institute description


However, you do have a strong disagreement with conflict, which 9s also happen to passionately dislike. Multiple types are against conflict, but you tend to withdraw yourself a bit in order to escape the heat of the conflict or try to take a stance that makes it easier for the conflict to end. I also don't see any strong highly assertive or controlling/dominating tendencies from you, which is why I picked the rational, principled and idealistic type 1 for the wing.

Anyway, hope this helps. :)
 

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Discussion Starter #3
@Impact Calculus:
It makes a lot of sense. I have stuff to work on now.
ACTIVATE AMBITIOUS ME.
I'm a 9, so I can rock the multiple personalities thing. Woooo.
 

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While I think this is great, I would read up a bit more on this to make sure I'm correct. Though what I said was true, that isn't entirely how the type tends to function. I recommend the type 9 forum for more insight on the motivations and how the instinctual varients work with each type. Anyway, glad to hear. : )
 

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While I think this is great, I would read up a bit more on this to make sure I'm correct. Though what I said was true, that isn't entirely how the type tends to function. I recommend the type 9 forum for more insight on the motivations and how the instinctual varients work with each type. Anyway, glad to hear. : )
Thanks, I appreciate it. Actually, after you gave your opinion I spent quite a while reading up about type 9 and it made sense. After that I responded.
I will definitely try to learn more, though.
 
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