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Discussion Starter #1
INTP here

Howdy

I'm a 21 year old.
I'm good looking (my lady friends tell me so all the time).
I'm a good guy (friends tell me I'm an awesome person).

I have one problem: I am unable to function without frequent sex. And to make it worse, I can only enjoy sex when I'm able to eat her out, and cum inside her, and I can't stand condoms, no matter how wide they claim to be.:mellow:

I've been told I'm pretty good at pleasing the ladies.:proud:

In my country, the birth control pill (the every day pill) is pretty widespread, so if I'm able to have oral sex with someone (checked for STD's) I'm also able to have bareback sex (given she's on the pill).:mellow:

This, of course, means occasional sex with random girls is out of the question.:bored:

So I'm only able to function when in a sex-related relationship, be it friends with benefits, or serious relationship.
The problem is, right now, I'm in a friends with benefits relationship which only occasionally results in sex, and I'm also stuck in a situation for the next few months, that makes it near impossible for me to meet new people.:unsure:

It's been 1 month since I last had sex.
I've been in a living hell. One day I can only think about having sex and am unable to get anything done, the next day I'm so horny I become an aggressive twitchy fuck.:angry:

I've been completely unable to study.
When I have sex every few days, I'm a happy, VERY productive, functional and calm person.:laughing:

Also, I avoid porn, and masturbation doesn't work for me, it only makes me depressed and frustrated.:sad:



I would like some feedback on my present situation.
 
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I think given your situation, the only realistic solution that I can think of for you right now is that, you need to change the way you view masturbation. Do you have the mentality that only 'losers who can't get girls' masturbate? It kind of sounds that way to me. Yeah, change that. Maybe get yourself some Fleshlights or something.

I really don't like the way you're handling the contraceptive issue. Ok, you don't like condoms, but have you ever given a thought about what if the girl prefers not to take the pill or any sort of hormonal contraceptives? There are all sorts of side effects to hormonal contraceptives that are a lot more serious than reduced sensation. Of course the choice of contraceptive is entirely up to both of you, but it's important that if your partner is going to take contraceptives that override her natural estrogen and progesterone levels, then it should be out of her own initiative, not because you pressure her into it because you 'don't like the feel of condoms'. Also, are you willing to put up with a potential mood-swinging basketcase? yeah, exactly. There are also other methods that are non-hormonal and dont require you to use a condom, like sponges, diaphragm, rhythm...stuff like that. Do your research.

I wish you good luck on your quest in finding yourself a girl with whom you can be in a mutual relationship (be it romantic, physical, friends with benefits or whatever..)
 

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MOTM June 2011
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I read the OP's post with what I assume is a Portuguese accent. Which I assume sounds like an accent from Spain.

My advice: Boohoo, let me get my tiny violin and play it for you. With your standards and low safety precautions, I recommend you just masturbate. No one here is going to "help" you out, bro. The best advice and safest is masturbation, not just sleeping around without condoms risking pregnancy and STIs*.

*Sexually Transmitted Infections
 

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Discussion Starter #6
Did you even read the whole post?

When I do things my way there is no risk of STIs or pregnancy.
 

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Sex addict help line maybe?
 

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MOTM June 2011
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You are aware the only real way to avoid those is to avoid sex altogether, right?
Sometimes I worry about humanity.

He's not taking into account that birth control pills, patches, injections aren't 100% infallible. That's why the pamphlets say 99.9% effective so they don't get sued. One of my friends was conceived AFTER her mom had her tubes tied. There's no 100% guarantee of not getting pregnant. Added onto that, people can lie about being on the pill, they can also lie about getting STI checked. They will assume since they don't see or feel any different that they aren't in any danger.

It's mostly ignorance and self-reassurance going on, not any skills or actual ways to shirk getting STIs while having sex. You can still contract an STI through sex WITH condoms.
 

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MOTM June 2011
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I wanted to see what "his way of doing it" would be, but you might have scared him off with rationality =(
Personally, I sacrifice one live chicken at my candle alter and smear chicken blood allover myself while chanting. Then I proceed to make love and it hasn't failed yet!
 

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I thought this was to give advise on how to help him?

Not belittle him.
 

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MOTM June 2011
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I thought this was to give advise on how to help him?

Not belittle him.
How are we supposed to help him when he thinks that you can evade STIs and pregnancy without using condoms? Both of which can happen with condoms anyway.

We've already suggested masturbation, he doesn't like that idea.

What are we supposed to say? Find an insatiable woman who is taking birth control that's STI-free? That seems obvious. Someone already suggested a prostitute, that's his prerogative if that's how he solves his problems.
 

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How are we supposed to help him when he thinks that you can evade STIs and pregnancy without using condoms? Both of which can happen with condoms anyway.

We've already suggested masturbation, he doesn't like that idea.

What are we supposed to say? Find an insatiable woman who is taking birth control that's STI-free? That seems obvious. Someone already suggested a prostitute, that's his prerogative if that's how he solves his problems.
@Fizz is right. *shakes head* The sense of entitlement of some people is tough to get a grasp of when there are lot worse things that can happen to someone. Maybe it would be better to just jerk off and be glad you're not in Japan (or Libya, or Iraq, or....you get the idea). Wow.

"Get used to disappointment!" -The Dread Pirate Roberts
 

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I thought this was to give advise on how to help him?

Not belittle him.
It seems to me that an increased amount of masturbation is probably not the answer as it may just strengthen the cycle of compulsion. I think the key is to really find out what you are not getting from other sources. If for example you have few other means of stress/anxiety release maybe you could try tackling this issue. How much (non-sexual) exercise do you get?

I have the same problem crop up every now and again and the way (perhaps as an INTP or type 5) I neglect my body and neglect to seek catharsis for my emotions too often contributes to this. Sex (finding myself through another) is then vital to my being physically present and having a relationship with my own emotions. It's not very fun.
 
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