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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Well, first of all I'm an INFP 4w5 (that may be an explanation by itself).
Anyway, I have this kind of weird problem that when I look in to the mirror I think:

That's not my face. That's not my body. If I have one, it's not this one. It can't, It just simply can't be me there in the mirror. That's the reflection of an ugly idiot. One that can't catch a ball nor speak to people properly. Do you wanna tell me this who I AM? NO!
This is just a dream. I know, I always knew. I won't have to go through life like this. I'll just wake up and everything will be fine. I'll be back in reality and then I'll look in to the mirror and say that's me. It looks like me. It sounds like me. It acts like me. It sure is me...
But what if (and that's a very daunting thought to me that is harder to deny with every single day of my existence)
this is reality.


So... Does anyone else of you have a similar problem
or wants to comment on this?
 

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I haven't felt that in a long time, but I understand what you mean. I think it boils down to dissatisfaction with yourself and a tendency towards fantasy, which makes sense since you're an INFP and a 4. I'm sorry you feel this way :( I remember I used to feel dissociated from my body a lot when I had an eating disorder. I'd get this feeling like my skin was just crawling and I was in somebody else's tainted body, neeeeding to break free but, obviously, completely incapable. I remember it was a horrible feeling. I think that to get over this you need to come to terms with yourself and also ground yourself more in reality. I know, easier said than done.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
I haven't felt that in a long time, but I understand what you mean. I think it boils down to dissatisfaction with yourself and a tendency towards fantasy, which makes sense since you're an INFP and a 4. I'm sorry you feel this way :( I remember I used to feel dissociated from my body a lot when I had an eating disorder. I'd get this feeling like my skin was just crawling and I was in somebody else's tainted body, neeeeding to break free but, obviously, completely incapable. I remember it was a horrible feeling. I think that to get over this you need to come to terms with yourself and also ground yourself more in reality. I know, easier said than done.
Thank a lot for your feedback :) Luckily i haven't experienced no such thing as an eating disorder. Probably just by the mere fact that I'm male and don't get pressured that much from society in that regard (though that of course is changing rapidly nowadays)
 

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Well, first of all I'm an INFP 4w5 (that may be an explanation by itself).
Anyway, I have this kind of weird problem that when I look in to the mirror I think:

That's not my face. That's not my body. If I have one, it's not this one. It can't, It just simply can't be me there in the mirror. That's the reflection of an ugly idiot. One that can't catch a ball nor speak to people properly. Do you wanna tell me this who I AM? NO!
This is just a dream. I know, I always knew. I won't have to go through life like this. I'll just wake up and everything will be fine. I'll be back in reality and then I'll look in to the mirror and say that's me. It looks like me. It sounds like me. It acts like me. It sure is me...
But what if (and that's a very daunting thought to me that is harder to deny with every single day of my existence)
this is reality.


So... Does anyone else of you have a similar problem
or wants to comment on this?
Lately, I have felt this way a lot. I really know what you mean- I will look at myself in the mirror and for some reason I just can't believe that its me I am looking at. I don't know what I really expect to see, but it just doesn't correspond with my mind or image of myself. I feel so disconnected with the person in the mirror. I hate when this happens, usually I just try and get myself back into balance by doing things that calm me. Or I stare at myself in the mirror until I recognize what I see (usually doesn't work though, haha). I always contemplate if what I am seeing is really real or not :/ I can really identify with that.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Lately, I have felt this way a lot. I really know what you mean- I will look at myself in the mirror and for some reason I just can't believe that its me I am looking at. I don't know what I really expect to see, but it just doesn't correspond with my mind or image of myself. I feel so disconnected with the person in the mirror. I hate when this happens, usually I just try and get myself back into balance by doing things that calm me. Or I stare at myself in the mirror until I recognize what I see (usually doesn't work though, haha). I always contemplate if what I am seeing is really real or not :/ I can really identify with that.
Thanks.

I am questioning reality more and more lately (as you can read above). I think my main problem is that my imagination is so vivid and my connectedness with the world is so weak that there really is little difference between here and now and the worlds in my head. Feels like being this huge consciousness trapped inside a human with a face and a body.
Why do I even need a face? It just hinders my true identity.
Why of all those wonderful worlds we have created for ourselves this one has to be the real one? It's a boring nightmare.
Why are people telling me this is all there is and when I die even this will be over? It can't be. No. Please don't let it be.


Do you know what I'm trying to express?
 

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Well, first of all I'm an INFP 4w5 (that may be an explanation by itself).
Anyway, I have this kind of weird problem that when I look in to the mirror I think:

That's not my face. That's not my body. If I have one, it's not this one. It can't, It just simply can't be me there in the mirror. That's the reflection of an ugly idiot. One that can't catch a ball nor speak to people properly. Do you wanna tell me this who I AM? NO!
This is just a dream. I know, I always knew. I won't have to go through life like this. I'll just wake up and everything will be fine. I'll be back in reality and then I'll look in to the mirror and say that's me. It looks like me. It sounds like me. It acts like me. It sure is me...
But what if (and that's a very daunting thought to me that is harder to deny with every single day of my existence)
this is reality.


So... Does anyone else of you have a similar problem
or wants to comment on this?

For the longest time, yes.

But then I began telling myself, that the reflection in the mirror was me. & if that didnt help I had an identical twin sister.

It might be do to Body Dismorphic Disorder. Its one of the main criteria.
 

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Well, first of all I'm an INFP 4w5 (that may be an explanation by itself).
Anyway, I have this kind of weird problem that when I look in to the mirror I think:

That's not my face. That's not my body. If I have one, it's not this one. It can't, It just simply can't be me there in the mirror. That's the reflection of an ugly idiot. One that can't catch a ball nor speak to people properly. Do you wanna tell me this who I AM? NO!
This is just a dream. I know, I always knew. I won't have to go through life like this. I'll just wake up and everything will be fine. I'll be back in reality and then I'll look in to the mirror and say that's me. It looks like me. It sounds like me. It acts like me. It sure is me...
But what if (and that's a very daunting thought to me that is harder to deny with every single day of my existence)
this is reality.


So... Does anyone else of you have a similar problem
or wants to comment on this?
I used to have this dismorphic-like disorder. There was a big difference between how I saw myself (inner self-image) and the image in the mirror. There were times I was shameful about this real image and could not bear looking at me from unusual angles. However, today those images are more aligned and I let go of this (un)consious desire to look different, more perfect. I am not that ugly person I used to think I was. As a four, I compared myself to an image of perfection and I identified with it. It went better when I started letting go of all desires to please people, but I never neglected myself. I feel much better now, as I know the brain of a 4 works processing self-created images (to which I superficially identify now), comparisons and I do not base my self-esteem on images anymore. Desire is the fuel to comparisons and identifications. So, you may need to let go of your strongest desires.
 
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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
I used to have this dismorphic-like disorder. There was a big difference between how I saw myself (inner self-image) and the image in the mirror. There were times I was shameful about this real image and could not bear looking at me from unusual angles. However, today those images are more aligned and I let go of this (un)consious desire to look different, more perfect. I am not that ugly person I used to think I was. As a four, I compared myself to an image of perfection and I identified with it. It went better when I started letting go of all desires to please people, but I never neglected myself. I feel much better now, as I know the brain of a 4 works processing self-created images (to which I superficially identify now), comparisons and I do not base my self-esteem on images anymore. Desire is the fuel to comparisons and identifications. So, you may need to let go of your strongest desires.
Letting go of my desires... I think it'd be easier to cut my arm off. For a 4 it's probably healthiest to redirect them.
 

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I feel this way more when I see photos of myself. I have gotten seriously upset over bad photos of myself, and I experience this disconnect between the photos & my self-perception. There are times I'm convinced I look hideous and other people tell me I look fine. But I've actually had friends & family openly tell me I am not photogenic & that I look better in person. That is strangely a comfort to me, but this confirmation that I don't photograph well makes me avoid having my photo taken.

You know that episode of Friends where Chandler can't take a good photo? He smiles normal until the camera goes up, then his face contorts... that's kind of what I do, I think. I don't know what to do with my face. My body is not so bad, but I often have this stiff mannequin look, like I am posed, even if someone gets a candid shot of me. I am also the only person who manages to look thinner on camera than in person. This has been confirmed by others also.

However, I often am pleasantly surprised by the mirror. I've on occasion unexpectedly caught myself in a mirror and then I can see why people compliment me sometimes. It's when I too closely examine my face in the mirror that I get weird thoughts like "I am deformed" or something.

I'll echo this other 4 I read on another forum who said he feels like he wears clothes well, that he likes his appearance in the mirror, but that in photos it just doesn't look the same. That's generally how I feel also.

So there's a weird pendulum for me between a kind of vanity and feeling deformed or strange in a bad way.
 
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