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Weve known eachother for 7 months, dated for 4, and have been much closer this last month. I get this fear. He likes me because im unique, fun, interesting, and pretty smart. But i feel he may be a little immature in ways, selfish in ways, and that maybe this is just lust or infatuation for him. Something out of the norm, and he's having fun with this possible conquest so far, but the future is what scares me. It's hard to feel secure with being vulnerable, but so far he's the person ive been most comfortable with, in my whole life. He doesnt judge me, hes very sweet and so far he's giving me enough attention that assures me of his interest. But for how long will it last.. I feel his interest in me is genuine, but i feel he is in over his head. I feel that because of that, and his somewhat selfish youthful attitude, that he is definitely enjoying himself right now, but its hard for me to know that im letting myself open up, letting my guard down, being vulnerable, and selfless and caring, that when he loses interest, gets bored, completes his conquest (to have me trust and give myself fully), that i would have then wasted time and effort, my heart and mind, on something so foolish.. Love is foolish, its a risk, but love in the end is worth it. Loved lost is hard, but i know love is worth is. Though foolish.. How can i work around this doubt and fear.. ? Ive talked to him about this but i know he's not purposely being reckless with my heart. I just get the sense that he gets what he wants, loves what i give him, really likes me so far :), likes excitement, wants love and affection/connection, no bullshit type, and has a slight selfish youthfulness about him but is still very caring and considerate- especially with me. I wonder if he knows what selfless love is, and if he can give that. I wonder if he even loves himself. I feel im taking a risk with something that may be real at the moment, but the type of thing that when its over, you realize it was never the real thing at all. Just selfish attraction and momentary devotion to it due to selfish needs, etc. Anyone have any comments? Experience with feeling that way? Knowledge on how to trust anyways? Or am i just being stupid?
 

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Please tell me if you disagree with anything I say.

It sounds to me like he hasn't actually done anything yet, but your mind has chucked up this possibility and you've put the facts with how his with it and think that this really could happen. What if it doesn't happen, what if you last forever and get married, or break up but over something that has nothing to do with this? These could both happen, so I would tell you to stop worrying about the end and aftermath and enjoy the present of the relationship, or you may create a self fulfilling prophecy.

People can grow up, and so can relationships. It might be based on excitement at first, but your pairing could easily come to be based upon something else given time. Don't give up on him yet.

What's important is that you don't lose focus of what you want and how you want to be treated. INFPs are absolutely awful at leaving bad relationships because we can always see the good in people. I have no real advice to counter this because I am yet to experience or observe it and come up with a response. All I can I think that might help is keeping focused on what you want, and being able to take the plunge and get out when things go bad regardless of how much other people are telling you you're wrong.

I wish you the very best of luck and happiness with this :D
 

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Well, let me tell you my story. I am in an eerily similar situation to yours right now, with a girl (named Heather). The man you describe sounds just like me, while you sound just like her. And the dynamics of the relationship are basically the same. I am an INFP and she is too. I'm pretty sure that she is aware of this forum. You even write like her. But what really made things strange was when I read your other post that mentions your learning German. She is also learning German in university right now. Add my INFP daydreaming to all this, and my brain apparently created a pattern where there actually was no pattern.
 

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Plus, I've been experiencing a lot of other strange occurrences and coincidences these past few days. So my mind was ripe...
 
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