Personality Cafe banner

1 - 13 of 13 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
306 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
Tons of tests, questionnaires, readings, and I still don't know my type. People around me all get to the point. I fail to accomplish everything. My life sucks at the moment. I'm unemployed and don't know what the hell I should do. Please, don't suggest to leave mbti because I'm in a shitty mood, just like everyone else already told me. I'm depressed as fuck, and very paranoid, but mbti has nothing to do with it. Even if I found my true type, it would be useless. I would never fit any description.
I don't want to use mbti for self improvement. I want to find my true type because I'm just curious.
Some of you may be thinking "oh, you're such a typical hurt Fi!". Could be. I just want to say in advance that typing someone as Fi just because of a melancholic character is stupid. It already happened too often in the past. I want help discovering my true type. No space for stereotypes. Even though I still may be Fi.

I already answered a lot of questionnaires in the past. I always appear in a different way. It's not because I'm fake. I just happen to feel like a different person everytime.

People that know me better mostly type me as ISTP, and some of them as ISFP. But even though my way of expression may appear sharp and blunt, I'm very indecisive and lose too much time hesitating. I can never choose. Everytime I get some new information, I would like to change my decisions. I change my mind every second.

I'm too lazy, and my environment is a mess. But everything has to make sense in my head. I'm pretty butthurt about details in discussions. I'm always asking the reasons, and struggle when the other person is vague. Vagueness triggers my paranoias.

I'm a very calm and cold person on the surface, but in the past I got some violent outbursts. I'm not talkative when I'm angry. I don't like to use words to hurt other people. I just punched straight in the face the other person etc (I always had good reasons). Respect and politeness is really important to me.

A reason why I struggle with the sensor typing is that I don't really notice details in the environment. When I walk on the street with my girlfriend it often happens that she's like "wow, did you see those people arguing violently at the other side of the street?", and I'm like "no. My head was in the clouds". My head is constantly in the clouds. Thinking about what I will have to do, and how I will need to do, and what else I could do. I often notice that I'm staring at a point without even seeing that spot. And therefore I doubt about the S.

So maybe this will be helpful for you. Maybe not. Feel free to answer question to get a complete vision.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
370 Posts
I'm sorry to hear about the issues going on in your life and I hope that things get better. That said, looking through your posts, you seem to be on the Fi-Te axis, but typing is difficult during states of depression. I only skimmed through your posts, but ISFP seems accurate. I know numerous ISFP's who can get caught up in daydreams and whims. The ability to get caught up in your mind isn't excusively an N thing.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
306 Posts
Discussion Starter #3
I'm sorry to hear about the issues going on in your life and I hope that things get better. That said, looking through your posts, you seem to be on the Fi-Te axis, but typing is difficult during states of depression. I only skimmed through your posts, but ISFP seems accurate. I know numerous ISFP's who can get caught up in daydreams and whims. The ability to get caught up in your mind isn't excusively an N thing.
Thank you. I really appreciate the fact that you took the time to take a look at my older posts. What would you say about enneagram and instinctual variants?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,896 Posts
Kimchi wrote [after Mentioning several persons including me] 4 days since the last answer. I just opened the last few threads in this section, and tagged the names of the people answering. This method is cheesy as fuck, but atm I just want to read some feedback.

@Kimchi

There's no better book to address where you're at than two :p (Get it, no better 'book'--singular, then I go on to hint that more than one will be coming?)

You wanted 'cheesy' so that's it.

Now the book titles:

1) Neurosis And Human Growth by Karen Horney

2) Was That Really Me by Naomi L. Quenk


Both books are aimed at persons who 'are' interested in self-improvement; self-improvement to the point of nearing as closely as possible, 'self-actualization.'

So, sorry, I cannot not take the situation you're in seriously, and for some reason, right this moment, I think underneath the blase, cynical, who-gives-a-fuck attitude is a real person in need of some guidance but doubting it will help:

Conflict.

And conflict-resolution with a caveat. I take the advice I once heard--well, not every time, but most often, "Never put more into helping a person who isn't willing to put in at least as much energy toward the goal." A paraphrase, but you get my point, I'm sure.

Hope you borrow--if either book is available--one or both of the titles I shared, or save and buy 'em if you don't have a library loan system with these in their inventory.

If you're serious, underneath the 'cheesy' bit, send me a PM for some online bookstores that have or may stock good, used copies of these authors, and these specific books.


Also, quick look at this--ignore (in your head, other people's posts) stereotypes, go with 'cognitive functions' and look at specifics in your life, see if any or many resonate:

http://www.typeinmind.com/sife/
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,896 Posts
@BranchMonkey
Such a funny coincidence: I bought Quenk's book a few weeks ago, but I'm still reading it. I relate mostly to inferior Fe, but I still have to read some chapters.
That's great news. If you pair it with Karen Horney's book and read them together, not so much back to back but giving time in between for information to coalesce in your mind, and don't be hard on yourself, just work and accept whatever progress you make, you 'will' progress up and out of where you are now.

Karen Horney was an INFJ; she also battled life-long depression, had a brutal father and the fall-out from that and more to contend with--and she never gave up or into it for long.

She had one of the keenest minds I've been privileged to benefit from her sharing its insights.

Naomi L. Quenk's book is not an easy read, and that's good, because if it were, to my mind and for my mind, it would be too topical and I'd skip it.

Keep us posted, won't you? I'd like to read about your progress, ups/downs, no matter how seemingly 'who cares,' it's all good when we improve ourselves and by example, help others see they can, too.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,707 Posts
@Kimchi

You can start with a new thread with answers to one of the questionnaire of your choice, plus (since solely questionnaire may very likely not be enough)

 
Take your time, if you really hate the question, pretend it doesn't exist. ;)

You need to build a pyramid exactly like in Egypt. Your thoughts, feelings and actions?

You need to put your home library in order. How do you feel about this activity? How will you approach this task?

What is beauty? Do you change your opinion about beauty? Does your understanding correlate with the generally accepted notion?

What is comfort? What is coziness? How do you create your comfort and coziness? How do others evaluate your skill in doing so? Do you agree with them?

How do you pick your own clothes?

Tell us how you'd design any room, house or an office. Do you do it yourself or trust someone else to do it? Why?

What does "my people" and "strangers" mean? When do "my people" become "strangers" and why?

Give us your understanding of love. Can you love and punish at the same time?

What is sympathy? When do you need to express it? When is it advised not to?

"Whole world does not cost one tear of child" – how do you understand this phrase? Do you agree with this opinion?

Do you track what mood you are in throughout the day? Do you notice the mood of others?

How people change? How do you feel about those changes? Can others see the changes?

What is time? How do you feel time? Can you "kill" time? How?

What should be done so people can be happy?

What is more important in life – to be a good person or be a successful one? Why? Is a good person always successful? If not, then why?
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
5,331 Posts
People that know me better mostly type me as ISTP, and some of them as ISFP. But even though my way of expression may appear sharp and blunt, I'm very indecisive and lose too much time hesitating. I can never choose. Everytime I get some new information, I would like to change my decisions. I change my mind every second.
Can you provide an example?
I'd love to know what's going on in your head, as new information comes in, and you change your decisions on the spot.

I'm too lazy, and my environment is a mess. But everything has to make sense in my head. I'm pretty butthurt about details in discussions. I'm always asking the reasons, and struggle when the other person is vague. Vagueness triggers my paranoias.
What precisely do you mean, by "butthurt" about details in discussions?
Do you mean that if someone were telling you a story, and you noticed something they said didn't match up with the rest of the story, you would notice this and want to clarify and correct this, before you could proceed?

Respect and politeness is really important to me.
Why?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
10,011 Posts
I will look at this better later

One thing though

I don't always notice every detail. I can get super pensive and Ti'ish where I am way out there or suddenly zero in on something Se related whether be detail or activities where I will space out. The reason I am pointing that out is because I still do not think it changes my reasoning is generally in the concrete and what is realistic and in the moment. That does not mean I can't be a space cadet at times. When I get super stuck in my head I can be fixated on reasoning or a detail and miss quite a lot.

Also something to point out is even some intuitives can actually be very detail oriented more so than a sensor. Reason... inferior Si & Se often can manifest in them looking to either enrich or secure their environment on a more conscious tried level. While dom/aux Si/Se might almost do those things with out much thought it can almost be ambivalent to it. Especially inferior Se/Si users can be extremely conscious of details as a comfort, security, and enrichment measure.

Both my ENFP ex & another ENFP friend for example can use inferior Si in more conscious ways as far as observing quite a lot of environmental detail. Where as for them they are almost focused observing at time while I more so just am in autopilot using peripheral vision (I know something is there but really don't even care to zero in always on what especially when it's in a distance and in peripheral vision I can tell it is not in route to me, where as I have seen numerous intuitives actually look further into WHAT is actually flying).
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
170 Posts
@Kimchi
I don’t want to discourage you, but in your state you most likely won’t be able to find your type. One option is to postpone it for when things get better.

However, if it’s important for you to try to find it now, with your current situation, (and finding your type+researching psychology to find your type may actually help you with it) you could take advantage of it as much as you can. If you are in a very bad place mentally you are very likely to over- and misuse your tertiary and inferior. It’s not guaranteed that looking for your lower functions will work, but it’s maybe the best way.

This is the site with the best analyses of types I found so far. This section is about inferior functions:
The Principles of Cognitive Function Theory @MBTI-notes - Type Theory
And specifically for each type (for other types search the title in the site):
How Functions Work: Inferior Te (ISFP/INFP) - Type Theory
How Functions Work: Inferior Fe (ISTP/INTP) - Type Theory
And stages of development(+regression):
MBTI & Development: ISFP - Type Theory
MBTI & Development: ISTP - Type Theory
and this general type development, especially the second half:
http://mbti-notes.tumblr.com/development

I know where you come from, I’m in a similar situation. Probably the only difference is that I easily narrowed it down to 2 types. I’m aware that the state of depression and constant frustration I’m in makes it very likely to misidentify so I simply gave up (for now, for the time I’m in shit) on trying to find my type. When I tried, I did 2 things:
1- I tried to figure out the unhealthy inferior/grip in the clearly altered from normality behaviour and way of thinking I have;
2- I tried to figure the type that fits with the way my mind worked and the way I was behaving when I was ok.
It didn’t work, probably because even in my normal state I am either a Fi injected INTJ or an INFP who uses a lot and identifies with Ni; however, what comes out in this fucked up state I’m in resembles the sick Se inf more than the sick Te inf, so I did get an idea of which is more likely. That’s why you should try it too.

I didn’t read your posts from other threads and I don’t think it’s worth the time. I don’t have much faith in the forum typing, even with a good description of self/questionnaire. It’s just another test, and if the regular tests you took were inconclusive, some strangers reading your posts won’t be able to decipher you much better. But they can give you hints and ideas and thus help you find the right direction.

Sorry if I beat your head with something you’ve already done, but you should read some non stereotypical descriptions of the types, those that focus on how the dom interacts with the secondary & the tertiary and the role of the inferior etc. (like the site I gave you) because that’s most likely to click with you: „yeah, that’s more or less how I work”.

You won't necessarily find your one type, but you will probably narrow it down a lot by elimination.
 
1 - 13 of 13 Posts
Top