Personality Cafe banner
1 - 16 of 16 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
6 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Before I start: My first post here (yay) after a bit of lurking. I finally scraped what's left of my dignity away and decided to ask for help from anons on the internet, so I'm apologizing now as I'll probably just use you friendly people selfishly for my own benefit (if any).

Anyways, a little background information, I'm 17 and currently a junior in highschool. I used to be a complete shut-in before 9th grade, and now it seems like I've been thrown out of my nice box, free of outside emotions and logic. Because of this, I have little to no social skills.

Now the specific reason why I'm here is because I accidentally dragged myself into a situation. A month ago I found out that a girl wanted to go out with me, Morgan. But before I could accept, she found out that I liked her best friend, Dionna. Morgan ended up faltering when I accepted, but eventually accepted, and shortly after (2 days) broke up for an unknown reason and then proceeded to ignore me for several weeks.

Just a few days ago I was able to find out that it was because she thought I was just using her to get with Dionna. The worst part is, during that time she ignored me I did ask Dionna out, and was rejected harshly. I have been able to apologize for her feeling like I was using her, but I have no idea if Morgan knows that I did ask Dionna out shortly after.

There's a very awkward tension about both of them now towards me. What I want to know is is this whole relationship destroyed with them with no hope of being a trusted friend anymore? More importantly, is it possible that Morgan knows and hates me now?

Yes I know, pitiful for a highschooler to get caught up like this because its not going to matter in two years, but as of right now I feel pain any time I look at either of them, so I want short-term relief by knowing either to cut both of them off or try to repair the damage. Sorry again for my selfishness.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6 Posts
Discussion Starter · #3 ·
The headache was worse when I didn't notice how Morgan actually felt because I felt like I had done something horribly wrong and my head was exploding trying to think of what.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
40 Posts
Make up your mind. If you want to be with Dionna, why were you dating Morgan?
Anyway, I don't think it has no hope.
It is possible that she knows and hates you now.

First of all, CALM DOWN. You are in a bad situation, but you can fix it.
Think about what you really want and have a serious conversation with whoever you judge as necessary. If you feel the need to apologize, do it. Make you thoughts and feelings clear. Also: Be firm on what you say.
They might be hardheaded when listening to you, but don't let it get you down. If they can't forgive, it's their problem. If you do what's correct (in your conception), there will be nothing to worry about.
 

·
黐線 ~Chiseen~
Joined
·
5,241 Posts
The headache was worse when I didn't notice how Morgan actually felt because I felt like I had done something horribly wrong and my head was exploding trying to think of what.
confront and ask to give 'us' a chance? but given you're 17, there's plenty of time to search for love... unless, that is... you're searching for a junior prom date, senior prom date and what not... if you are fortunate, go for it... if not, you're not missing much.

Unremarkable?

... yeah, I got nothing. Um, any NFs want to help out here? My inferior Fe is throwing in the towel, here.
unremarkable... kind of like saying 'not surprising' in a sense...

can INTP's juggle love triangles? Fe would tire them out with the juggling and all... Regardless of gender, it would drive any INTx's mad.... J's might have more decisiveness and split second thinking... but P's on the other hand, they'd be unsure of who to go for and wind up losing both ....
 

·
Registered
ENFP
Joined
·
4,206 Posts
All I can say is people talk. People update each other on this kind of stuff.

When there's validity behind a story, it might hurt for all parties. Eventually in time, those feelings subside. Not worth the pain if it wasn't true love to begin with..

They'll get over it. If anything, Morgan seems to be hurting most. It's not easy to feel like a 3rd wheel.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,620 Posts
unremarkable... kind of like saying 'not surprising' in a sense...

can INTP's juggle love triangles? Fe would tire them out with the juggling and all... Regardless of gender, it would drive any INTx's mad.... J's might have more decisiveness and split second thinking... but P's on the other hand, they'd be unsure of who to go for and wind up losing both ....
Yes, simultaneously unremarkable, because expected, but remarkable, on account of the extent of the headache. ... holy crap, I can see an INTP getting stuck in a love triangle, but *initiating* one? Wow. That's like a love Klein bottle or something. I don't think geometry is supposed to do that....
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6 Posts
Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Well, to be honest I guess the reason I even decided to date Morgan was because I felt desperate at the time, and in my head a probably knew that I would get shut down hard by Dionna. I can tell that going out with Dionna is never going to happen now and the problem I've been juggling in my head is if Morgan would even trust me enough if she knew the whole story. So I guess it seems like the only question left is do I really want to go out with Morgan? It does really hurt that I have to face the fact that Dionna was an illusion that would never happen.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,620 Posts
Well, to be honest I guess the reason I even decided to date Morgan was because I felt desperate at the time, and in my head a probably knew that I would get shut down hard by Dionna. I can tell that going out with Dionna is never going to happen now and the problem I've been juggling in my head is if Morgan would even trust me enough if she knew the whole story. So I guess it seems like the only question left is do I really want to go out with Morgan? It does really hurt that I have to face the fact that Dionna was an illusion that would never happen.
.. oh yeah, definitely a Klein bottle... good luck with Morgan, man. Go try your best, it's not like you can really fuck up too much worse :D once you've hit rock-bottom, the only direction is up.

... uh, he has hit rock-bottom, right, guys?
 

·
Registered
ENFP
Joined
·
4,206 Posts
Morgan reacted. I'm guessing, her intuition kicked in and knew something was up.

Whatever the case is, it's really about who makes you most happy. Sounds like neither of them do. Otherwise, there would be mutual reciprocation from both parties (in either parts of the triangle).
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6 Posts
Discussion Starter · #13 ·
Well, I guess the only way it could get worse is if Morgan decides to do another 180 out of nowhere again and jam a second spike through me like Dionna, there is no lower. Thanks everyone involved, and thank the moderator who ninja moved this to advise, I obviously didn't lurk enough lol.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
544 Posts
Listen very carefully, no women wants to feel like the second choice or sloppy seconds. If you don't feel anything for Morgan but want to remain friends, then praise her good points, apologize for being a jerk/immature and tell her that you don't want to lose her friendship simply because you were an idiot.

If you do like Morgan and want a relationship with her, then ease her insecurity and make her feel like the only woman in your world, only then will she trust you again. Some grand gesture is required as the wound she has is deep. So the question is how much are you willing to do/endure to regain her trust? Be honest with yourself though, if Morgan is still a second choice in your mind then don't lie and say she is because how you treat her will be 2nd choice treatment even if your not intentionally doing it. Given enough time your thoughts will effect what you say to her and treat her.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6 Posts
Discussion Starter · #15 ·
You know what, I really can be stupid at times. I just remember something I've oppressed from the day I asked Dionna out, when I went into a small fit of rage after that, I ended up trying to vent to other people. In my blindness I actually told both Dionna and Morgan goodbye forever. Now that's not the worst part since I apologized for my outburst there, but I also got mad that Morgan wouldn't even respond to that and ended up saying, "Atleast Dionna took the time to shatter my heart with a text". So in other words, she knows, I told it to her face and I repressed this memory until now because it was painful.

I can see why Morgan is very reluctant to hang out with me at all, I think I've failed already.
 

·
Referral Princess
Joined
·
1,386 Posts
I completely agree with @strawberryLola

AND to be perfectly honest, it is probably best not to involve yourself with the two girl friends as of right now. Let things settle and subside. Remember, at this age, their bond is tighter than what you have had with them. They have talked thoroughly of the situation, i'm sure Morgan knows that Dionna knows of you asking her out shortly after she started ignoring you. What is Morgan's fault is that she never confronted you or explained to you what was unsettling to her. She should of communicated with you which would of given you a fair chance to explain yourself. Love makes you do crazy things - maybe one day you can explain to Dionna that you went out with Morgan because you were desperate. Maybe you can tell you one day that you were sorely hurting for Dionna but being alone was even worse.

I'd seriously wait things out for a bit unless you want more drama.
 
  • Like
Reactions: strawberryLola
1 - 16 of 16 Posts
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top