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Discussion Starter #1
I figure it's healthy to keep an eye out for blind spots and understand that I am not omniscient. I currently see myself as 4w5 sx/sp tritype 416 - any arguments for or against?

Edit: I ask that cheerleading be kept to a minimum.
 

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Discussion Starter #3
Main Questions

1. What drives you in life? What do you look for?
Nothing "drives" me in life other than the lizard brain; anything after that is an attempt to avoid boredom or pain. Though the world does keep me alive through giving me things to watch for the resolution of.

2. What do you hope to accomplish in your life?
Apparently a family, but that seems to be more of an unconscious hope at this point. I'd rather it die already so that I can focus on something else.

3. What do you hope to avoid doing or being? What values are important to you?
I hope to continue to avoid committing the atrocities I see in my head; no matter how delectably enjoyable it feels in my own mind, it will only mean the death of my humanity. I hate being bored because it allows me to obsess over my failures and the voices of my subconscious which then results in me being unproductive at work which could get me fired. Pretty much everything I feel I enjoy on the inside I have to try and avoid, even though it's only helping to prolong an existence of little worth and yet I desperately want to be me and only me.

I otherwise value my own ass, as much as the safety of those around me takes a close second. I value being myself, though I've had to learn moderation to function in society.

4. What are your biggest fears (not including phobias)? Why?
That I'm just going to screw up again with no real gain on the horizon. I have a habit of self sabotage, but it is at its worst when I let discipline fly out the window, like my subconscious is wont to do.

5. How do you want others to see you? How do you see yourself?
I like being seen as different, but I hate how scary I seem to come across as naturally. I guess I kind of see myself as the ghost of a child left to wander the earth for hundreds of years.

6. What makes you feel your best? What makes you feel your worst?
I feel my best when I get something to work and/or look, feel, taste good. The successful blending of function and form is the most rewarding for me. Something going to crap or when I seem to only manage to scare/bother people puts me in a shit mood.

7. Describe how you experience each of:
a) anger - I feel the need to see the world burn, to destroy, to kill, to wade in rivers of blood. Self-control is a beautiful thing...
b) shame - I'll feel the need to sink into the darkness, wanting no one to find me, yet hoping someone will pull me out.
c) anxiety - I can't stay still when anxious and I often feel the ned to yell or scream.

8. Describe how you respond to each of:
a) stress - I either overwork myself or eat too much. I end up so much on edge that I'm like a social hand grenade.
b) unexpected change - I'll get angry first, but I always figure out how to deal with it almost by reflex.
c) conflict - depends on how important the subject matter is, though I haven't become physically violent in almost 16 years now.

9. Describe your orientation to:
a) authority - it has its uses, but is rarely there for me when I damn well need it. I give what respect seems necessary, but I rarely trust it.
b) power - in my hands or someone else's I don't see much good coming from it, as much as part of me wants it. I seem to have this "God's greatest gift to the world" complex that people really don't need to deal with.

10. What is your overall outlook on life and humanity?
As much as I can enjoy some of the suspense, when the hell will it finally end?


Optional Questions

11. Discuss an event that has impacted your life significantly; more importantly, how you responded to it.
Lots of people I should have been able to trust proving that it was ill placed. I now seem to have serious trust issues.

12. Comment on your relationship with trust.
It's an on again, off again kind of relationship and unfortunately I have to live with this one. It comes in through the window when I least expect it, grabs hold of my cock; and the minute after I stop fighting, it drives a knife through two ribs in my back and disappears through the window again.

13. List some of the traits you:
a) like - learning how to do things quickly, this seems to save my ass more often than I like.
b) dislike most about yourself - the emotional a-bomb I'm always carrying around.

14. What do you see or notice in others that most people don't?
Their motivations, or at least, I think so.

15. If a stranger insults you, how do you respond/feel? What if they compliment you?
I have worked long and hard to not want to destroy every person who insults me. Compliments I tend to only take seriously for a few seconds, then question the motives of the giver - patronizing compliments often get taken as insults.

16. What's something you are:
a) thankful you have - self control, what little I have. Jail is some place I'm pretty sure I do not want to be.
b) wish you could have - companionship, but good fucking luck there with the way I am. I guess I feel empty with out, as much as that just leads to more problems.
 
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This isn't helpful, but I'm finding it very difficult to type you because your thoughts are so different from mine or the associations I have with each type. I'm also a 4, but a 4w3 and I'm not an angry or cynical person. Not that that means you can't be a 4, but I'd definitely see you as a 4w5 over 4w3. And I can't think of any heart types fitting you better... You also seem like a counterphobic 6, so maybe the 6 is also right? I would think 6w5. Your righteousness I could see as having 1 in your tritype.

Edit: And as far as your stacking I would definitely say so last, though I'm not sure sp/sx or sx/sp.
 

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Discussion Starter #7
For now, I need you to read the 4 and 7 descriptions here and share your impressions:

1. Typewatch Enneagram: Typewatch Enneagram Type Descriptions

2. the enneagram ...info from the underground

So far, it seems to me, that we are dealing with a 7 (under stress).


For the 7, don't get caught up in the "life of the party" stereotype. @Dark Romantic , Get in here! :)
On second thought, I may be downplaying my underlying sense of responsibility, as much as part of me would absolutely love to eschew it I know I'll just feel like crap again if I do.

The 7 descriptions still seem a little more free in impression and more lucky than I have been in life.

Could I be over-thinking it?
 
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On second thought, I may be downplaying my underlying sense of responsibility, as much as part of me would absolutely love to eschew it I know I'll just feel like crap again if I do.

The 7 descriptions still seem a little more free in impression and more lucky than I have been in life.

Could I be over-thinking it?
7 descriptions have so/sx-ish bias. It can tough to relate to if you haven't been "As lucky" in life. I completely understand where you're coming from. Try to focus on the core motivation, avoidance of pain, deprivation and boredom. The sense of responsibility is coming from your 1 fix. 7 also has a line to 1 (disintegration, but from what i've read, people can access both points of integration and disintegration under stress/when integrating). Type 7 isn't about irresponsibility. Wanting to eschew responsibility, but feeling like crap when you do falls in line with 7 (and it's line to 1, it's amplified in cases of 1 fixed 7s, like yourself, with self preservation first).
 

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Discussion Starter #9
7 descriptions have so/sx-ish bias. It can tough to relate to if you haven't been "As lucky" in life. I completely understand where you're coming from. Try to focus on the core motivation, avoidance of pain, deprivation and boredom. The sense of responsibility is coming from your 1 fix. 7 also has a line to 1 (disintegration, but from what i've read, people can access both points of integration and disintegration under stress/when integrating). Type 7 isn't about irresponsibility. Wanting to eschew responsibility, but feeling like crap when you do falls in line with 7 (and it's line to 1, it's amplified in cases of 1 fixed 7s, like yourself, with self preservation first).
Would this also be in line with me doing my best to behave, even though I had a bad habit of wandering off if I wasn't careful?

When the core motivations are distilled, I'd be hard pressed not to see them in myself. This may link into the ADD diagnosis in my early teens.
 
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Discussion Starter #11
Why do you do your best to behave? :)
How often do you feel guilt? What makes you feel guilty?
Good question. The methods of discipline my parents employed would explain everything after 4yo, but not before that. Both my mother and my father have commented that I was always an extremely well behaved little boy. These days I do it because if I'm not taking care of #1 no body will.

I often feel guilt when it seems like I've allowed myself to enjoy a situation beyond what it can support. I should be able to handle myself - any one who can't still needs to grow up (and now I'm starting to hear dad's voice...).

The other shoe always drops, no matter how prepared I try to be for it, then shit just burns up again. It's gotten to the point where I can't enjoy something because I'm scared of that other shoe dropping.

My mother also started becoming more explosive in her reactions to being annoyed as I went from age 8 to age 10, when I coined a nickname for my mother that included the title "Hurricane". By twelve I had to start tearing her a part verbally just to get her to listen to reason (and I don't mean a 12 year old's reason).

After 12 I started into my most popular time in school which came crashing down at 14 when I tried defending my friends against a bully who thought he aught to have what ever he wanted. Burned again.

I went into high school with a near perfect plan and I screwed it up because I allowed anime and the internet to mess with my junior and senior years (my first computer and the first time I had near unlimited access to the net - not a good excuse, though).

Then there's the list of girl troubles I had since 19. I've become paranoid...

But I also feel guilty when I don't head out and have fun with others, and that seems to hit deeper.
 
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Discussion Starter #12
I'm starting to think that the way I worded the title to this thread also has some baring on my type...
 
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Discussion Starter #15
How do you react to negative situations? Think carefully about this one; it might not always be apparent upon first glance.
Before brains kick in, it's either rage, frustration, or dread. It really depends on the specifics of the situation, where my head is at, and how recently I have eaten.
 

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Good question. The methods of discipline my parents employed would explain everything after 4yo, but not before that. Both my mother and my father have commented that I was always an extremely well behaved little boy. These days I do it because if I'm not taking care of #1 no body will.

I often feel guilt when it seems like I've allowed myself to enjoy a situation beyond what it can support. I should be able to handle myself - any one who can't still needs to grow up (and now I'm starting to hear dad's voice...).

The other shoe always drops, no matter how prepared I try to be for it, then shit just burns up again. It's gotten to the point where I can't enjoy something because I'm scared of that other shoe dropping.

My mother also started becoming more explosive in her reactions to being annoyed as I went from age 8 to age 10, when I coined a nickname for my mother that included the title "Hurricane". By twelve I had to start tearing her a part verbally just to get her to listen to reason (and I don't mean a 12 year old's reason).

After 12 I started into my most popular time in school which came crashing down at 14 when I tried defending my friends against a bully who thought he aught to have what ever he wanted. Burned again.

I went into high school with a near perfect plan and I screwed it up because I allowed anime and the internet to mess with my junior and senior years (my first computer and the first time I had near unlimited access to the net - not a good excuse, though).

Then there's the list of girl troubles I had since 19. I've become paranoid...

But I also feel guilty when I don't head out and have fun with others, and that seems to hit deeper.

Thanks for sharing that. The bolded portion is notable. Everything you're describing has to do with core 7. The conflict between having self-preservation as the primary instinct and the 7s need for stimulation (gluttonous want of experiences and variety) is quite evident in your post.


p.s. SOM, I don't see 3. 4? yes. He is likely a 4 fixer.
 

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@Runvardh , what do you mean that you feel having been called out? Has someone written to you something like you're not a Four? Anyway, I think you might find reading about my journey useful. Here and here are some posts about how I realized I'm not a Four but a Seven. Oh, I do not mean you would be a Seven but just for the comparison. Sp Sevens are said to be the most Five-like Sevens and many times introverted. Not all Sevens are "life of the party" kind of Sevens, forget the stereotypes and focus on the motivations.

I don't know if you can relate to this but I felt type Four forum was boring. Emotions and feelings, I'm not interested in them. I am ENTHUSIASTIC (sorry, some things you just can't emphasize too much ^_^) kind of curious about issues, knowing something fascinating more deeply, building my own theories and discussing about them. I felt I wanted more, that type Four forum was missing the things that make me glow. I have put it to my last fix, it's the unhealthy state of me I wish to avoid. And yet, I could relate to it so strongly... I could relate to all the negative issues of 4w5, I wasn't happy, I wasn't myself. But luckily that wasn't all life had for me.

What I mean is think about what makes you especially happy, what qualities and things are the most delightful and uplifting for you. Think about what kind of child you were. It bothered me that I wasn't a bit Fourish child, I should've realized before just because of that since I was a very Sevenish tomboy running after boys and girls with too many interests when it came to people, hobbies or anything in my life.


Edit: this is a story by @Spades, very interesting and insightful.
 

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Discussion Starter #18
Carrying out ill-advised experiments, building snow forts, disappearing into the woods were all things I enjoyed as a child.

I preferred the encyclopedia set behind me to the teacher in front of me. I also created a problem more complex than what we were doing in class and solved it at the end of my homework to illustrate how well I understood a concept that I felt we were beating to death. I even included the comment underneath: "I get this, can we please move on?" I was in grade 3 at the time...
 
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@Runvardh, you know, in the end we are who we want to think we are. Somehow I get the idea of you not being as free as you would wish to be. Why, I do not know really... Maybe because your writing makes me feel like you have this image of yourself and you don't want to let go of it.
 

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@zallla
I actually like that he didn't try, at all, to cater his responses to a specific (read: desired) type. @Runvardh responded very honestly and didn't hold back. And, I was happy to read his questionnaire because people have this ridiculous image of 7w6s as Peter Pans skipping through poppy fields, eternally happy and smiling. His answers strike at the core of what type 7 is all about, and this thread is required reading for anyone who thinks 7s (especially 7w6s) are all about partying, goofiness and frivolity.

There is a sense of restraint, but it seems like a product of stress (disintegration to 1 and his clear 1 fix). I quite appreciate his forthrightness and openness.
 
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