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I often find myself agreeing with things like vigilante justice, and have a generally harsh outlook on the world with little compassion. This also spreads to my social life (however small it is). I often care little for my friends struggles and when approached for help I usually give them the tools they need and tell them to do it themselves. I never expose my weaknesses unless they are something I cannot help and have overcome, then I flaunt them. The only times I ever really expose my feelings recently is on this forum, and when I am here all my emotions and feelings come pouring out over analyzed from a detached standpoint for the entire internet to read, but I only let my friends and family see me as cold, calculating and callous . I feel little for my family, definitely nothing akin to love for them and I can't imagine myself feeling very hurt if something were to happen to them. There are few people that I know whose wellbeing matters to me. Despite all of this, I am a leader to my friends and its easy to make them follow me to the end of the earth. Its almost as though I am their commander, not their friend.

This makes me feel cold and inhuman. Tell me someone else feels this way.
 

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Well, going from your Enneagram and Myers briggs types it may not be all that out of character. I don't feel anything for my mother and it bothers me to some degree even though it doesn't feel like anything is wrong with me.
 

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I've felt inhuman, with little care for my family. In fact, nothing mattered tbh. It was all numb.
You sound lost. Keep working with yourself and it will pay off.
 

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Culture, a dominated culture, has given you cues on what it means to be human. Much like many aspects of society, perhaps not all of it fits for you.

These notions of what it means to be human have been derived by people with personalities probably very unlike your own. Why should their notions of humanity be any more valid than any others.

This is where critical thinking, evaluation, and analysis are crucial. You have to analytically process and determine what it means to be human. You have to quantify and learn to understand the nuances of humanity in order for you to determine what it is for yourself. You can't just look inside yourself either, you have to evaluate this system from every angle so your result as to what 'humanity' is best fits reality. This way, your views on humanity can be what shapes society and the people around you.

Don't fall into the treadmill of internally rehashing the same information.

Don't get bogged by subjective thought.

You're a scientist, objective analysis is your forte.

Cultural and Social study is just another science.

In the end, with time, you'll figure out what it really means to be human. My clue for you is that the meaning is one, that when applied; you are happy with it; your values make sense within yourself and the world around you; your social circle is improved; and you're more in tune with all your aspects.


Earlier in life I struggled with misanthropic thoughts and behaviors. Getting through it, for an intuitive thinking perceiver, takes analysis and objectivity.
 

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The odd thing is that I only feel this way on rare occasions, like last night, and now I am back to cold thinking. Thanks to you guys I now have more ways to look at situations and avoid relapsing into my identity issues. One of the problems is that I have never met another INTP in real life, and only a few 8's, but I am friends with none of them. Without ever seeing a person in real life that is similar to me in any degree, I feel lost. But I usually can handle it.
 

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I often find myself agreeing with things like vigilante justice, and have a generally harsh outlook on the world with little compassion.
Contradiction. Vigilante justice is the only true justice. Without justice, there is no compassion. This is coming from a super-squishy Type 2 of gleeful squee.

I often care little for my friends struggles and when approached for help I usually give them the tools they need and tell them to do it themselves.
That's actually ultra-compassionate. That shows that, not only do you care, but you seek to empower others with self-confidence.

I never expose my weaknesses unless they are something I cannot help and have overcome, then I flaunt them. The only times I ever really expose my feelings recently is on this forum, and when I am here all my emotions and feelings come pouring out over analyzed from a detached standpoint for the entire internet to read, but I only let my friends and family see me as cold, calculating and callous . I feel little for my family, definitely nothing akin to love for them and I can't imagine myself feeling very hurt if something were to happen to them. There are few people that I know whose wellbeing matters to me. Despite all of this, I am a leader to my friends and its easy to make them follow me to the end of the earth. Its almost as though I am their commander, not their friend.
Sometimes, it's fun being a sociopath of demented do0m.
}:-D

This makes me feel cold and inhuman. Tell me someone else feels this way.
To be ubermensch is to be super-human, not inhuman. Embrace sociopathy, for it is the path to self-liberation!

Misanthropy uber alles!
 

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The odd thing is that I only feel this way on rare occasions, like last night, and now I am back to cold thinking. Thanks to you guys I now have more ways to look at situations and avoid relapsing into my identity issues. One of the problems is that I have never met another INTP in real life, and only a few 8's, but I am friends with none of them. Without ever seeing a person in real life that is similar to me in any degree, I feel lost. But I usually can handle it.
This site helped me a lot with that problem. Really allow yourself to read any books, experience art, movies... whatever, that truly is YOUR wants and likes no matter what your inner committee is telling you you should like! Be very mindful of the difference between what your Inner Committee (super-ego, conscience) is telling you to be and what is actually your wants and needs. Proactively endorse your own self interests (versus selfishness) and seek anything that reinforces and clarifies who you are. A moral, socially respectable identity will eventually emerge out of this behavior if it is self aware enough. This has helped me gradually with personality type isolation.

FYI, i don't think anyone needs to be worried about there own emotionlessness, thoughts or character unless they notice that they're planning on cruelly manipulating and hurting others. If so then that's actually a form of self-destruction, and may indicate repressed resentment and anger which the emotionlessness is just trying to cover up. Yet, some people are just better detached thinkers that others and may confuse that for having issues.
 

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As a disclaimer: The entire point of this analysis is to help you, by providing you with some thoughts to think about. My intention is not to attack you.

I often find myself agreeing with things like vigilante justice, and have a generally harsh outlook on the world with little compassion.

This also spreads to my social life (however small it is). I often care little for my friends struggles and when approached for help I usually give them the tools they need and tell them to do it themselves. I never expose my weaknesses unless they are something I cannot help and have overcome, then I flaunt them. (...) I feel little for my family, definitely nothing akin to love for them and I can't imagine myself feeling very hurt if something were to happen to them. There are few people that I know whose wellbeing matters to me.
It sounds like you're afraid. Deep down, you might be more compassionate than you are admitting even to yourself. By not admitting it, you can detach yourself from "the weak" and thus, feel strong.

The only times I ever really expose my feelings recently is on this forum, and when I am here all my emotions and feelings come pouring out over analyzed from a detached standpoint for the entire internet to read, but I only let my friends and family see me as cold, calculating and callous. (...) Despite all of this, I am a leader to my friends and its easy to make them follow me to the end of the earth. Its almost as though I am their commander, not their friend. (...) This makes me feel cold and inhuman. Tell me someone else feels this way.
It sounds like you feel lonely. You want to find others who see the world as yourself. Also, by finding others would work as a reinforcement to your idea of how you are.


Considering all of this, there are some thoughts:

1) Personality is not set in stone. It's a process. We change constantly, as we think and react to the world.
2) The way to develop is to first admit to your weaknesses. You have already made great progress by opening up in the internet.
3) The next step is to seek answers as to why the weaknesses are there. Mostly the answers lie in your past; it has shaped you into the person how you are now. Yet we are more than the sum of our pasts: we have the power to think and choose how to act. This allows us to develop ourselves.
4) The key to developing is to take responsibility for your own actions, knowledge, attention and behaviour. It is very important not to blame others for how you are, even if you have had difficult experiences in the past. Doing so only stagnates you. Every person, always, behaves in the best manner given the situation in the world, their knowledge and experience, their emotional state and the attention they put into themselves and what they do. By accepting the weakness of others, you can come to terms with what every person always is: only human. In this, you can come to terms with the thought that you're only human as well.
5) All this can take a lot of time. Allow this for yourself, but do not use it as an excuse to not work for your development.
6) I really hope that you will feel better and be successful in this :happy:


Two quotes which might be of use:

"The sage holds in his embrace the one thing (of humility), and manifests it to all the world. He is free from self-display, and therefore he shines; from self-assertion, and therefore he is distinguished; from self-boasting, and therefore his merit is acknowledged; from self-complacency, and therefore he acquires superiority."
- Laozi

"You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection."

- Siddhartha Gautama
 
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To be ubermensch is to be super-human, not inhuman. Embrace sociopathy, for it is the path to self-liberation!
Try to not be so literal in your interpretation of the Ubermensch. It sort of bugs me when Nietzsche's concepts are de-contextualized and, therefore, not very well interpreted.

/slowly retreats from type 8 land feeling ridiculously pretentious.
 

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There's no right or wrong way of doing it -- for instance, I have detached myself from people time to time due to overseeing ulterior motives and what not, whilst in the process of showing compassion. Emotional manipulation and being used as a dumping playground has also left me a little cold and careful. But this does not mean that everyone is out to get me, despite falling into the trap of assuming it might be the case. They are just extreme situations, or the fact that I let myself go too far into the deep-end.

You could try to see someone, whenever they are expressing their talents or emotions or anything really, as a life story instead of a "problem-solution" situation, since curiosity creates a scope that is readily available for things like compassion and consideration. If you are able to be a little attentive to a person in that manner you may also realize that it becomes a tad bit easier to be attentive and considerate of your own emotions buried inside and that you don't have to criticize yourself too much nor do you have to do the same to others.

Bear in mind that there's not a perfect way of being attentive to a person nor is there a right or wrong -- all you need is curiosity and from there can you be open to walking on a trail you hadn't been on before and have learnt something new. Main thing is to remain your real self and not be anything you're not. People don't need 100% compassion or sympathy/empathy, only as much as they'd probably need tools or solutions -- and even then, each person is different so you'll find so many variations. What does it take to be human?

“Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better.”

Life is a succession.
 

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"Logical Compassion" is something that might help you.

I started thinking of compassion as a skill somewhat recently. And more importantly, as an extension of logic. I believe there is an objective reason to have compassion, why it's best for everyone, etc. -- a lot of logical compassion also has to do with your own self-awareness. i.e., someone doesn't "make you angry" -- you have to develop an awareness of the fact that, just as a simple matter of human behavior, we project our emotions onto other people. We allow ourselves to *respond* instead of *think.*

In a way, thinking "I'm lonely" is *responding* instead of *thinking.* This seems like a very cold thing to say, and I wouldn't say this to someone who I didn't think would understand what I'm talking about right now. Anyway, in that sense, empathy is secondary to tact -- "human emotions" aren't the only thing that's human, and making a rational decision not to upset someone, not because you care about their feelings, but because it's an unproductive/inefficient thing to do that is of no benefit to you, or anyone else, is as human as anything else.

You are a human being. I think it's very important to think for ourselves, and beyond that, I think this is one of the things that gets us most in touch with our humanity. Emotions aren't better than objectivity, and objectivity isn't better than emotions. Everyone has different aptitudes.

Back to loneliness being *responding* instead of *thinking*: this is kind of a gray area. To discount all emotional responses as frivolous is not a logical thing to do: THAT, in and of itself, is an emotional response, which adds to the irony of saying "emotions are stupid" (there is nothing "stupid" to a completely objective person -- making what's basically ad hominem or playground insults the basis of an analysis of a situation indicates a clouding of judgment).

I will have to catch myself thinking of things as "stupid," including people. I heavily, heavily strive to be non-judgmental, and a large part of this is that I KNOW that when I'm judgmental, I suffer. Being judgmental is a very painful experience, because it allows emotions to torture you without any thinking or reasoning to pull in the reins.

The truth is that people are not stupid. No one is stupid. People are human beings; some people look at this with an overflowing sense of empathy and compassion, and a sort of mystical grandeur; but without even a shred of empathy or emotion, I think it's possible to have a healthy and very human view of humanity. And possibly a much healthier and human view of humanity than could be had if you were entangled in a web of emotions that had no reasoning or conviction behind them.

Loneliness is a very painful and difficult experience. I do empathize with you -- I just don't want to emphasize any empathetic feelings I have, because that would be kind of counterproductive to the point I'm making here. Either way, you know what it's like to care about people. You said it yourself; and you know what? Being able to care about even one person is a blessing. The worst is when you can't care about a single person at all.

However, being logical...I don't know if it's possible to not be able to care about a single person, so long as our minds are open to being truly objective, and we make an effort to *think* instead of *respond.* I may make a snap-judgment about you, for making this thread, for example -- that is a response. It isn't necessarily an emotional response, but either way it would be a result of me not being holistic in my thought process, and failing to be completely objective about what it is you have to say.

I wish I could get across to you how much power you have to help people. We ALL have special aptitudes that are suited to helping people in our own unique way. Forget vigilante justice. I'll say that to you right now. I have had violent fantasies, e.g. torturing people, snapping people's necks, strangling people, stabbing people, doing all these sorts of things, for many years. I've felt enraged and completely cold toward people for how "vile and disgusting" this world is. Injustice has made me so mad at some points in my life I would become completely obsessed with fantasies about torture and murder and I felt like all someone had to do was push me one more inch and that'd be enough to make me hunt them down and smash their face in with a baseball bat.

I understand, to my own degree -- I can of course only speak for myself -- violent mindsets. This is a very emotional thing; it isn't objective. Violence will not solve anything. Taking life doesn't bring life back. And being obsessed with injustice in society, is actually a form of allowing yourself to (basically) be mind-controlled.

I don't mean that in an aliens and demons are taking over the world type of way. I mean mind-controlled in that you are allowing these emotions to trick you into thinking that that's who you are, and that that's what you want -- say, how some people go out and blow up buildings or become suicide bombers or do all these kinds of things.

Don't allow yourself to be brainwashed. Objective thinking will reveal to you that hurting life can't help life. As horrible as people can be, we can't completely blame them: to demonize one person in a world full of such complexities is not logical, it's emotional. This person's a "sick fuck" is *responding*, not *thinking.* No one stops for a second to think why this person did what they did, and how they might share some responsibility in it.

Many times I've contemplated suicide and I've had to go to a lot of therapy and programs and involuntary hospitalization. Countless, countless times, I felt like screaming at the top of my lungs about injustice. Injustice, injustice -- I wanted to scream, I don't need medication, I don't need to be hospitalized, what I NEED IS TO BE SURROUNDED WITH *SANE* PEOPLE!!!!!!!!

That is where loneliness comes in. If you are an objective thinker, more or less, you will be significantly separated from most of the people in society. You aren't better than them. They aren't better than you. It has absolutely NOTHING to do with that.

Also, they aren't stupid -- remember what I said about that. They're just human beings. The basic fact is that people's minds can be more emotional and less rational, and the more rational you are and the less you let your emotions control you, the less "human" you're going to seem, and the more people are going to be likely to separate themselves from you.

Basic example: I don't condone violence. I don't think that what criminals do is right. But at the same time, I see no point in demonizing criminals. That's a waste of emotional energy: why use this mouth to be screaming slanderous things at a condemned person, instead of using it to kiss or provide comfort to the victims of whatever crime it was that created this tragedy for the victim(s)? It makes no sense.

If you say something like this, though, and I have before, people get very angry. "He's defending the criminal! He's siding with him!" I can't blame people for saying these things. It can be very lonely, though, when you proclaim something to be logically true, and yet no one will listen to you. And beyond that, your own loneliness and pain from being separated from humanity is completely invalidated.

People will call you cold and heartless, or unsympathetic, or that you only care about yourself. And you can suffer a lot from that. People will stand their ripping you to pieces from the inside out.

At that point, it's very possible to feel homicidal urges. I think this is incredibly important to take note of. If you find yourself agreeing with vigilante justice, it's possible that you might perceive an injustice like that to yourself as a reason to kill someone -- I will say right now that it's VERY, VERY, VERY important, for this reason, to think critically and objectively in the times where you aren't under such stress.

Logically, it isn't that person's fault for saying these hurtful things to you. They're trapped in what you might call relativistic thinking, and will project all their problems onto you. Basically, they have absolutely no idea what they're doing. I'm not comparing people to wild animals here, please don't think that: but if a dog bites you, what use is it to get angry at the dog? The dog is responding out of instinct. It isn't consciously processing something and making a deliberate choice to bite you. We can't judge people by our standards, because we aren't other people.

Other people will judge us by their standards, but that objective awareness of "ah -- this person is attacking me *ad hominem* -- logically, this doesn't even make sense, and this person isn't aware that they're projecting their own internal emotional pain onto me."

And this is where you can turn that hatred and those violent impulses -- your own internal pain you're projecting onto someone outside of you, thinking that if you kill them, that pain in you will die (it won't; doing that will only make it much worse) --

-- let me say that again. It was a little choppy! This is where you turn that hatred and those violent impulses into logical compassion. You can withdraw from being sucked into this person's world of emotional pain, and look at it objectively, and all of a sudden, you are like a person watching someone drowning.

I think the best thing to do is to lend your hand to this person, whatever that means in that specific case. Sometimes it's as simple as not provoking their anger, and remaining calm and passive, and willing to listen to what they have to say, so you're like a mirror to that person: and through your calmness and passivity, and unbiased/unemotional/non-condescending and non-condemnatory objectivity, that person may be able to see the reflection of their own emotions, and then *see* that they are drowning in their own pain, and are projecting that pain onto you.

Objectivity is non-judgmental, or perhaps non-snap-judgmental. Though no human being, no matter how rational or 'holistically perceptive,' knows everything. You can see situations more clearly than some people, perhaps, but on an ultimate level, you can't see anything more clearly than anyone else, because life is a mystery to all of us.

Seeing all humanity as truly equal is perhaps something that's only possible when we reach a high level of objective thought. I of course struggle with this, because I still get angry, and it takes me a long time to calm down and rationalize what's actually going on in my head (e.g., "I'm not angry *at* this person, I feel lonely, I feel frustrated, and I'm projecting my emotions and hatred that's completely within myself onto things outside of myself, etc.).

But logically, I know that hatred doesn't add up. You don't have to have a shred of empathy to understand this truth, or live it daily. You don't have to have empathy to make the objective choice to practice compassion, which is logically beneficial to everyone, and if you're a very selfish person, compassion is more satisfying to your own self than anything else. What greater sense of freedom is there than maintaining objectivity and not being bound by chains of *responding* instead of *thinking*?

*ENDING NOTE*

I think empathy and 'human emotions' will come into play at one point or another, unless you're a legitimate psychopath or sociopath. I still have read many accounts of emotional pain in these people, though, and even if it has nothing to do with anyone else...well, that can even be a worse hell. If you're unable to have empathy for other people but feel all this emotional pain within yourself, what do you do? This is one reason I emphasize logical compassion: some people really can't feel empathy, and if compassion is something that can only be born out of empathy, then it seems to be a pretty useless tool for creating a better world. Of course, it is the most useful tool for creating a better world, and arguably it's the only one. Love is all that's going to help, and I'm completely convinced that you can prove this on a level of logic alone. People may say I'm an idiot for this, but instead of saying that, maybe it's something worth thinking about, instead of simply responding to.

I struggle with a lot of loneliness problems, and have my whole life. I have a history of extremely low self-esteem, hence the suicide problems, hence my reason for writing this right now -- as objective as I'd like to be, I'm still a very emotional person, it's just that years of social isolation and trauma thereof has led to me repressing/compartmentalizing a lot of my emotions.

This is perhaps what happens with people like you, who can't feel as much empathy or concern as they'd like? I can't judge you and I won't. I'm just proposing an idea here, that maybe the extremity of some emotional pain can cause us to block emotions nearly altogether, if not altogether, as a way of self-preservation. Objective thought seems to be the remedy to this.

But yes XD See, I start to really ramble when I get emotional. I'm not feeling much of anything right now except anxiety and nervousness and a sense of discomfort. This is enough to make me like this, though. So I would like to say, though I didn't want to emphasize empathy here, I can relate to you, and you're not alone in feeling your pain. The only reason I'm not 'gushing' about this, even though I probably could if I allowed myself to feel more emotions right now, is because objective thought/critical thinking/holistic thinking as opposed to relativistic thinking, is one of the best helps for times where you are extremely stressed. It lets you 'step back' from the emotional whirlpool -- and feeling bad about not having empathy or emotions is itself an emotional whirlpool -- and it lets you calm down and get back in the pilot seat, so to speak.

I don't have a history of affection and I've never had sex. I know that I would probably enjoy these things right now, though. And I don't have to be emotional about it -- I'm an emotional person, but at the same time, instead of thinking "I would love to have a woman here for emotional support" or romanticizing everything, I could cut it down to the basics, like, right now I would enjoy being touched. I don't have to embroider what I'm saying with emotions to make it 'human'; you can write a beautiful poem about making love, but at the same time, would it be lying to say that you really enjoyed having sex? It sounds crude, but it's objective, and that level of honesty can also be relieving to have.

I have no obligation to feel something that I'm not feeling. I'm a human being; I don't have to jump through hoops or meet certain standards to make that true. I was born a human being and that is all I can be as long as I'm alive. And thinking "I would like to be touched" right now is a very simple and very comforting thing to me: all of a sudden, this emotional pain and all this confusion go away. Humans are interdependent. I have a desire to be connected with people just like anyone else has.

Instead of confusing myself and becoming enraged to the point of thinking that the only way I can connect is by doing some vigilante thing, going on a rampage, or sharing my feelings of hatred and misery with other people by bringing hatred and misery into their lives via extreme violence perhaps masquerading as justice (and I do think that this is what it is; violent tendencies always seem to come when you have falsely convinced yourself that there is absolutely no other way that people will listen to you)....

...instead of that, I can see that I don't have to meet other people's expectations to fit their criteria of 'what's human,' and I can just be honest with myself. I would like to be touched. I would like to have pleasant interaction with people. This is what we all want and looking at the world this way makes everything so much simpler. And this is where empathy comes in; we can relate to one another's pain. And sometimes it's crazy how beautiful these things can be in their simplicity.

An Objective Human Connection:

"I want to be touched."
"I want to be touched too."
 

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P.S. Empathy: "understanding and entering into another's feelings"

To understand another's feelings, we have to experience them ourselves. Human emotion is just that -- human emotion. You're a human being. If you look deeply enough into your own feelings you'll eventually find the empathy you're looking for.

People've called me selfish a lot, for example, and a lot of other things. Most of the time I have no one to share any of my feelings with, and it makes me feel like I'm screaming in a 'glass cage' (this is how I think of it: it's like you're inside a glass cage, where you can see everything around you clearly, but no matter what you say, no one can hear you, and you can't touch anyone, and people just stare at you and think you're weird/crazy for running around the cage like a lunatic or some kind of zoo animal, and then you start thinking you're crazy and aren't seeing things clearly, enter: beating your head against the glass walls, 'something must be wrong with me,' etc. etc.).

It makes me cry a lot, but at the same time I'm really thankful for it because I don't think there would be any other way for me to feel sorry for other people, or be able to relate to them.

You aren't inhuman. That's impossible. It's possible that you're not allowing yourself to experience the full range of your own emotions -- I can't say for sure, but I know this is what happens with me all the time, because I'm so used to being put down for it, I feel like I have to degrade myself or abuse myself for feeling certain things, because I 'have no right' to feel them. We're so used to hearing "inhuman" that we can really come to believe that we're less than human, that other humans are above us and better than us, and that can lead to all kinds of resentment and hatred.

Of course, that resentment and hatred are misplaced emotions. One of the biggest stumbling blocks I've had in terms of empathy/coldness is my unwillingness to admit my own feelings. I'm so used to being condemned and ostracized for saying how I feel, over the years I've come to feel like I'm a bad person or am very selfish and evil for having feelings of pain.

So you don't recognize your own pain. There's a line in a Roy Harper song that goes, "and how can you see yourself by searching someone else?" -- the point, at least in this context, being that if you look at other people's emotions without recognizing your own, you won't be able to draw any connections at all. If you feel like you have no right to feel pain, and deny your true feelings and refuse to admit what's really bothering you, you won't be able to empathize with the same pain other people are having -- how can you understand someone's pain, if it's the same as your own, and your own pain is something you don't understand because you live in denial of it?

This is why demonization of people is dangerous, and beyond that, very harmful: people are made to feel less than human, which leads to more repression and self-abuse, which inevitably leads to the abuse of other people. And so the cycle continues.

This is just a suggestion. You have to figure out what it is for you, but these have been my experiences, and I hope they can at least be of some use to you. Take care, and thanks for sharing.
 

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My best friend died in March, 3 days after my birthday. I had just seen him the day before and planned on calling him that day, only to receive a call that morning telling me he had died from an overdose of his pain meds that were legally prescribed.

It wasn't the first time a friend of mine that died. Several years ago one died and we had been friends for over 20 years. It became a joke that I would say to another friend of mine. Like "Do you know Pat's dead?" Or "Pat's Dead!" And we'd both laugh. I did that for years.


Another died last fall. I took that more seriously and went to his funeral. The friend I shared the joke about Pat dying didn't attend and it angered me greatly, to the point I was disgusted with him and didn't speak to him for months. We were all close and had known each other more like 30 years. I felt sad he was gone and still miss him.


My friend who just died was my best friend and we went back 35 years though all kinds of hard times and life experiences. It really hit me hard this time and I'm just now getting over it. I used to see a show on TV and if I thought he'd like to see it would call him to tell him about it. I thought about it once after he died before I realized he was dead and I wouldn't be doing that anymore.

I don't know what point I'm trying to make but it seemed relevant. Maybe it will come to me later...
 

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I often find myself agreeing with things like vigilante justice, and have a generally harsh outlook on the world with little compassion. This also spreads to my social life (however small it is). I often care little for my friends struggles and when approached for help I usually give them the tools they need and tell them to do it themselves. I never expose my weaknesses unless they are something I cannot help and have overcome, then I flaunt them. The only times I ever really expose my feelings recently is on this forum, and when I am here all my emotions and feelings come pouring out over analyzed from a detached standpoint for the entire internet to read, but I only let my friends and family see me as cold, calculating and callous . I feel little for my family, definitely nothing akin to love for them and I can't imagine myself feeling very hurt if something were to happen to them. There are few people that I know whose wellbeing matters to me. Despite all of this, I am a leader to my friends and its easy to make them follow me to the end of the earth. Its almost as though I am their commander, not their friend.

This makes me feel cold and inhuman. Tell me someone else feels this way.
Hmm.... yeah, u might want to learn 2 be a little more feeling. Odd though that u don't care about these people yet u still notice this happening in such a negative light.
 

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I often find myself agreeing with things like vigilante justice, and have a generally harsh outlook on the world with little compassion. This also spreads to my social life (however small it is). I often care little for my friends struggles and when approached for help I usually give them the tools they need and tell them to do it themselves. I never expose my weaknesses unless they are something I cannot help and have overcome, then I flaunt them. The only times I ever really expose my feelings recently is on this forum, and when I am here all my emotions and feelings come pouring out over analyzed from a detached standpoint for the entire internet to read, but I only let my friends and family see me as cold, calculating and callous . I feel little for my family, definitely nothing akin to love for them and I can't imagine myself feeling very hurt if something were to happen to them. There are few people that I know whose wellbeing matters to me. Despite all of this, I am a leader to my friends and its easy to make them follow me to the end of the earth. Its almost as though I am their commander, not their friend.

This makes me feel cold and inhuman. Tell me someone else feels this way.
I'm sorry that you feel this way. Maybe you should stop being afraid to show your weaknesses becuase if your family and friends really love you, they probably won't think you're weak. In fact, you are far from it. Here's a peice of advice---try to control your violent urges. Whenever you feel angry and just want to choke someone, write about it or withdraw and listen to angry music. That's what usually works for me. And, you should find out why you feel that way and process your emotions logically. Going about things in a more logical way instead of taking out your anger on others not only makes life easier for others and yourself, but it's also less emotionally draining. Also, you're not inhuman. People hate whatever is different from them and what they can't understand, so they demonize those people. I'm not fully sure what you should do, though, so I suggest you read Jib's posts. They seem pretty helpful.
 
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