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Im not sure if anyone can shed any light on this for me. I got up at 5 am and went through my usual routine of going for breakfast, doing odds and ends. I came hom and tried to get things done around the house.
2:30 came around and I realised I had been trapped in a mind storm all day, locked in my head thinking about scenarios, and actions Id like to see myself doing. I wont go into details but the thoughts all surrounded emotions towards situations and not practical or rational by any means in my daily life. I had been robbed of myself by myself. Now post 2:30 I feel like I have been balling my eyes out all day,physically and mentally, even my eyes are tired. Its like the entire morning was a dream. Im not sure what this is, I have no knowledge of psychology, but it has been happening lately. The best I can do to counter act this problem is to load my system up with fresh live food.
Any feedback would be appreciated. The situation is not pleasant.
 

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Im not sure if anyone can shed any light on this for me. I got up at 5 am and went through my usual routine of going for breakfast, doing odds and ends. I came hom and tried to get things done around the house.
2:30 came around and I realised I had been trapped in a mind storm all day, locked in my head thinking about scenarios, and actions Id like to see myself doing. I wont go into details but the thoughts all surrounded emotions towards situations and not practical or rational by any means in my daily life. I had been robbed of myself by myself. Now post 2:30 I feel like I have been balling my eyes out all day,physically and mentally, even my eyes are tired. Its like the entire morning was a dream. Im not sure what this is, I have no knowledge of psychology, but it has been happening lately. The best I can do to counter act this problem is to load my system up with fresh live food.
Any feedback would be appreciated. The situation is not pleasant.
INTP/ISFJ: Ti/Si or Si/Ti--Schizotypal Personality Disorder. I see this most commonly in INTP dom/tert loops (Ti+Si), resulting in totally giving up on attempting to obtain the social/interpersonal connections that inferior Fe drives them to unconsciously desire. Schizotypal people are seen (and typically see themselves) as having such unusual thoughts and behaviors that widespread social acceptance is nearly impossible. Ti thinks, "I cannot find any logical explanation for social rituals" and Si reinforces this self-isolating, risk-averse behavior by constantly reminding the user: "Remember how badly this went last time you tried?" If Ne were doing its job, it would remind the user to continue experimenting to find a new approach. In the ISFJ version, Si becomes ultra risk-averse and refuses to try anything new or unfamiliar. If Fe were doing its job, the ISFJ would learn that some risk is necessary in order to uphold obligations to others and avoid living in total solitude. Deep down, these types really do want social connection and ritual (Fe), but have found themselves so poor at it that they simply give up trying.
^
Does this strike a chord at all?

When you speak of "emotions towards situations" are you talking about experiences in your past? the future? just possibilities?

Have you heard of dissociative disorders before?
 

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Discussion Starter #3
^
Does this strike a chord at all?

When you speak of "emotions towards situations" are you talking about experiences in your past? the future? just possibilities?

Have you heard of dissociative disorders before?
Thanks for your reply Nova,

The post you provided strikes a very strong resemblance to my typical behaviour.
I do however in certain situations have no reservation taking control, leading and delegating people around me, but only in a purely objective impersonal matter. Its almost as if an alter ego comes through as I handle these instances in a very confident alpha manner which totally contradicts my true self.
Im often a sounding board for many people on personal and professional level. This is ok for me as I can take a third person perspective and deal with such situations objectively. However If you were a stranger and you came up to me and said hello with no objective I would lock up, speechless, nervous, and painfully shy. If conversation unfolds further, but more specifically on a topic Im not ofey with, Im looking for a way out. I feel threatened. This kinda hurts as I should be taking interest in the individual not the topic of conversation.
An example. The cafe where I have breakfast the girls there are so friendly, Its like I put up a wall of ice, and struggle with even the most basic of phatic communication. I sweat, feel clammy, and dissapointed in myself afterwards that I couldn't speak. I may be misreading the next part, but it seems now they are uncomfortable in approaching me due to my apparent arrogant nature, which in truth could'nt be further from the truth.
I look towards society with longing eyes, all the while sabotaging myself along the way.
I love people and carry no resentment towards anyone, even if I am the subject of their abuse. I love people and long to connect. I have an awfull mechanism which dissallows it.
Iv sought professional help, only to be sent on my way with a "you don't need to be here".
I need some tools, as Im withdrawing further with time.:frustrating:
Screaming on the inside.
Checking out dssosiative now.
 

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Im not sure if anyone can shed any light on this for me. I got up at 5 am and went through my usual routine of going for breakfast, doing odds and ends. I came hom and tried to get things done around the house.
2:30 came around and I realised I had been trapped in a mind storm all day, locked in my head thinking about scenarios, and actions Id like to see myself doing. I wont go into details but the thoughts all surrounded emotions towards situations and not practical or rational by any means in my daily life. I had been robbed of myself by myself. Now post 2:30 I feel like I have been balling my eyes out all day,physically and mentally, even my eyes are tired. Its like the entire morning was a dream. Im not sure what this is, I have no knowledge of psychology, but it has been happening lately. The best I can do to counter act this problem is to load my system up with fresh live food.
Any feedback would be appreciated. The situation is not pleasant.
I believe you are getting in touch with your emotions. It's okay, it happens. Emotions don't have to be rational. You feel what you feel. There is nothing wrong with what you feel. Your emotions are a part of you.

Experiencing our inferior (or even shadow) functions can be very scary. Especially if you've been avoiding it for years. I think you should perhaps embrace it more. I notice this tends to happen during mid-life transitions. I would breath through this experience and allow it to happen.

I really want stress the necessity for taking full low breaths when you are feeling this. I believe you are on the cusp of having anxiety/panic attacks. Breath in counting to 3 and breath out counting to six, etc. This will prevent you from going into a full blown attack. If you want to feel like you are not alone or want to go to a nice web site to help you breath, I suggest going to the Universal Breathing Room Do As One

When you are experiencing these emotions ground yourself in the reality that these are simply "emotions" and that they will pass. They are not concrete reality, you are okay and you are safe. Keep breathing, slowly. It's okay to feel.

If it gets too scary, always call a friend, therapist, family member you trust, or just blog through your emotions on this website. If you can, right now would be a good time to start some counseling. You can have someone there to support you through these emotions and help guide you a bit. Take care.
 

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I have dissociative amnesia. I never considered it to be a bad thing, though. My mind simply blacks out, and shuts off my ability to recall terrible things, that have happened to me, or terrible things, that I've done. I do believe these are memories, that I'd rather never recall. I've experienced some dissociation from reality, in other ways, as well. That's actually fairly creepy feeling. It's like walking in a dream. Nothing seems or feels real. In some of those states, it's like handing over control to someone else, who does the terrible things. I come back to, and the shit's all like a bad dream.
 

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Get some exercise
 

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I agree exercise or talking a walk is good. Not knowing you but, reading your comments it sounds like you are overloaded. You need a day or two and recharge. Release that stress go camping, fishing, or something. Take time to smell the roses.
 

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Thanks for your reply Nova,

The post you provided strikes a very strong resemblance to my typical behaviour.
I do however in certain situations have no reservation taking control, leading and delegating people around me, but only in a purely objective impersonal matter. Its almost as if an alter ego comes through as I handle these instances in a very confident alpha manner which totally contradicts my true self.
Im often a sounding board for many people on personal and professional level. This is ok for me as I can take a third person perspective and deal with such situations objectively. However If you were a stranger and you came up to me and said hello with no objective I would lock up, speechless, nervous, and painfully shy. If conversation unfolds further, but more specifically on a topic Im not ofey with, Im looking for a way out. I feel threatened. This kinda hurts as I should be taking interest in the individual not the topic of conversation.
An example. The cafe where I have breakfast the girls there are so friendly, Its like I put up a wall of ice, and struggle with even the most basic of phatic communication. I sweat, feel clammy, and dissapointed in myself afterwards that I couldn't speak. I may be misreading the next part, but it seems now they are uncomfortable in approaching me due to my apparent arrogant nature, which in truth could'nt be further from the truth.
I look towards society with longing eyes, all the while sabotaging myself along the way.
I love people and carry no resentment towards anyone, even if I am the subject of their abuse. I love people and long to connect. I have an awfull mechanism which dissallows it.
Iv sought professional help, only to be sent on my way with a "you don't need to be here".
I need some tools, as Im withdrawing further with time.:frustrating:
Screaming on the inside.
Checking out dssosiative now.
You actually write quite poetically, Noosabar. And I really empathise.

Do you relate to this a little as well?

ISTP/INFJ: Ti/Ni or Ni/Ti--Schizoid Personality Disorder. These types are socially incompetent for lack of trying, because they see little to no value in significant interaction with others. They live in their own abstract worlds, constantly second-guessing themselves as Ti poses a framework for a problem and Ni shoots it down as too definitionally precise. Without any real external input, these two functions will dream up all sorts of elaborate systems and implications for them, only to repeat their own self-defeating behavior, never bothering to emphasize putting any of its intense ideas into practice. Frequent disregard for rules, laws and other forms of behavioral standards is common, as no function provides any significant sense of external influence. If Se/Fe were doing its job, the user would recognize the value of connecting with others and of paying attention to their needs, preferences, habits and appearances.
How'd your research into dissociative disorders go?

I brought it up, because I have encountered derealisation in the past (particularly when I self isolate) and it can be unsettling being in a "dream state". Perhaps it's not what you're experiencing, but I have seen other people become very distressed by severe disassociation.
 

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How'd your research into dissociative disorders go?

I brought it up, because I have encountered derealisation in the past (particularly when I self isolate) and it can be unsettling being in a "dream state". Perhaps it's not what you're experiencing, but I have seen other people become very distressed by severe disassociation.
This is a good point.

I just wanted to add that I do have a dissociative disorder. My above advice were the tools given to me to handle my episodes. Breathing and relaxation techniques are essential for those of us who dissociate. It's very important to "ground" ourselves.

Also, what may have caused the episode in the original OP was a "trigger". OR, it could have been brought on simply because he was in a newer safer place in his life where he was finally free to express his emotions. Either way, I still think therapy would be the best thing. I also recommend yoga. But just be prepared to have more emotions. They have to come out eventually.

I think I'm going to go get someone to come here on this thread.
 

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Wow, Nova.. I'm a bit blown away by those two posts, as I relate to them very strongly. Where did those come from?

Also, Noosa, what has helped me before is getting back into a routine. Its hard to make that conscious decision (illustrated in Novas previous posts, why) but you need to really give yourself that push. Rather than just keep drifting, with these thoughts, give yourself some structure and engage your S more. It sounds simple, but those who mentioned exercise are absolutely correct. It can release some endorphins in your brain to give you the will to swing to the next branch.. keep on going.
 

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Noosabar, I'm concerned that you said you have been robbed of yourself by yourself. Did you mean just this day, or in life in general? This speaks of a deep regret. Is it possible you were crying all day? You seem to feel the scenarios were irrational. Are you afraid you will carry them out?

Do you feel any paranoia or anything else that's not your normal? You sound very intelligent and aware of how you interact with others. And you can express your longing to connect but anxiety about it. I hope you will continue to share what is happening.

Exercise can help, and so can taking time out in a natural place, unless the irrational thoughts escalate when you're alone. If you have someone to talk to or are willing to ask a professional, I would recommend it.
 

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2:30 came around and I realised I had been trapped in a mind storm all day, locked in my head thinking about scenarios, and actions Id like to see myself doing. I wont go into details but the thoughts all surrounded emotions towards situations and not practical or rational by any means in my daily life. I had been robbed of myself by myself.
This sounds like a relatively common ailment that we really don’t have a way to talk about in the west as our culture has effectively zero vocabulary to deal with this.

Sometimes, unconscious impulses and thoughts rise to the surface and demand attention. We then acknowledge them in the only way we know, which is to incessantly appease the desire by looping ourself into a compulsive obsession with this thought.

The good news is that the unconscious impulse is strong enough for you to deal with, so it should be relatively simple to find its source. The bad news is that if you do not respond appropriately, you’ll lock the neurosis in deeper and stronger… only for it to come back twice as strong next time.

2:30 I feel like I have been balling my eyes out all day,physically and mentally, even my eyes are tired. Its like the entire morning was a dream.
You need to break this loop and figure out its source. Deliberate introspection coupled with calming the body is the best way to do so. For calming the body, I suggest meditation. The key is following your breath. Do nothing but this. Sit upright comfortably and keep your attention 100% on your breath. You see, the breath is the gateway between the voluntary (sympathetic, daily life) and involuntary (parasympathetic, unconscious impulses) nervous systems. By bringing your attention to the breath, you can reconcile your conscious and unconscious minds (which really aren’t two, but that’s beside the point). Sit, follow your breath, and you will find that this loop will break, giving you some peace. (Ultimately, even loops like “I” and “space and time” will break, but that too is beside the point.) When you feel the chaos of this mental storm subside, under your own terms recall the emotions and thoughts in a non-biased, non-judgmental sort of way, just as a passive observer and just listen. ALL of the information is there; you just need to listen to it. If you feel it helpful, pray to God or whatever analog you find useful for insight and assistance.

Remember, break or weaken the loop first through adjusting the body and mind in meditation. Once it weakens, turn your attention to it in a loving way. The last part is the hardest really which is weathering the emotional storm that gets let out. If this problem is as strong as you make it out to be, there will be a tremendous amount of emotional energy that needs to be worked out. Meditation will allow you to work on this energy on your own terms, which is helpful, but it may be uncomfortable. Crying is a way to dissolve emotional energy, so don’t resist it if you get the urge. A good cry may be incredibly therapeutic here. If it comes, just let it out.



Edit: I should add, exercise will help burn off the emotional energy, so do something physical for sure. Also, try to find where in your body the tension originates. Then, take very deliberate deep breaths into that part of the body and try to relax it. If you you couple all of the above methods, I think you will find yourself in a better place to deal with this emotional energy.
 

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Discussion Starter #13 (Edited)
Thankyou everyone for the information you have provided.
I would like to give more feedback to your responses, however I not sure how to highlight and place sections of each post into my response, can anyone give me the heads up on how to do this.
 

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Discussion Starter #14 (Edited)
Anyway, I can't figure the quote within quote part.

The thougts that occupy my mind are not malicious by any manner if thats what you alluding to.

Exercise?. Well my occupation places me on the end of shovels and crowbars, in and out of trenches, in and out of ceiling voids, up and down ladders, manual loading and unloading bulky materials, and bulk material. Pushing, shoving, grunting and sweating, day in, day out. Not much cardiovascular of late, maybe that is the key, Ill get on my bike.

Need a break, well, thats a tough one, im financialy crippled due to unforseen circumstances surrounding economic downturn, a relationship break up resulting in payout of former ex, combind with solely carrying asset obligations in a market where unloading is not viable. Work is essential, as much as is physically possible or I sink.

Get into nature?. I live in a forest cabin surrounded by native flora and fauna , no TV, no radio.( bliss and serenity)

Schizoid? it does not ring true

Breathing, yes, I tried that today, and it helped.

Yes, these situations arise mainly when Im alone, sometimes when surrounded by others but not in the company of.

Fishing, camping, getting barrelled, riding my motorbike, my mountain bike, 4wding= no real enjoyment, flatline.

Doing things outragously dangerous or narrowly escaping death makes me smile cause I feel alive.

Im not,bitter or pescimstic, Im finding myself sliding beyond sensation and into my head, I am aware its happening when its happening and cant pull myself back. I don't suffer amnesia, in hindsight its just like a dream. During, its an emotional rollercoaster loaded with dynamite.

There is one other factor which is on my mind a lot, and that is touch. For the past twelve months and for the first time in 13years I have no touch with other humans. The sum total of touch each week amounts to one 15min session with my chiro.
Im not a hugger, Im not comfortable with anyone touching me unless its a significant other, and when in a relationship I am very tactile. I miss that, a lot. To touch and be touched Is very soothing and important to me. It feeds my soul.
Pursuing a relationship is not a fair option at the moment as I have tame the afore mentioned menagerie.

What Im hearing, is a chioce. It sounds like I need to be stronger and choose situations which are better for myself. I guess what Im doing isnt working so well for me to state the obvious.
Ill adopt what I can from what you have offered so far.


Intellectually, it also takes a long time and trust to open up in person. Though I find I can do it in text.

I have watched a few presentations on schizotypal and found social anxziety the the only factor I could relate to, dissociative on only a handful of points, I think Iv had some dissociative moments, to inferquent to be of significance..

My last relationship was a personal tragety involving a child, coupled with all the other issues could it be possibe that my recent experiences are the result of stress?. Any thoughts on this?
 

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Noosabar, I think to do a quote within a quote, you click on the + at the bottom of each post you want to quote, then click on 'quote.' It should go to advanced with each quote listed and you can remove what you don't want.

Yes to stress! Stress sounds like a huge factor and possibly depression. Depression doesn't always feel like sadness; it can be a subtle ongoing loss of energy, feeling lackluster, not caring so much anymore. You experienced something traumatic. It might be time to work through the loss.

Your living situation sounds ideal (to me) and it sounds like your work is giving you a lot of large muscle exercise, but you are very isolated. I'm glad you have access to the computer. Maybe being alone helped you deal with some losses for a while but more interaction would be better now. Relationships fire up adrenaline too! Going without that may be why outrageous danger and narrowly escaping death makes you feel so alive.

You need touch; you're aware you need it and with someone you feel safe with or love. I know an ISTP who is alone much of the time. He would seem like a man who needs no one but I'll tell you, the man needs excitement and touch. He hugs and squeezes my upper arms when I see him! He's the only friend I have who really grips me tight with his hands. If a love relationship isn't possible for you right now, is there anyone in your life you feel close enough to, to hug or sit with? Can you go visit someone, reach out? I know that may not sound great, but sometimes just being with someone else helps, even if you don't talk about anything.
 
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