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Hi! I have a really big problem these days. Or many big problems. I've started high school this autumn, and it is terrible. I feel so lonely in class. People almost only want to talk about drinking parties, hair and make-up, and I feel they look at me like really different since I like to write poems, politics, and talk about things with "depth". I spend my whole day trying to make the rest of my class happy - asking them how they are doing, what they did in their holidays and always try to be kind and helpful, I really want to make their day happy. and get to know them. But I get nothing in return. Peole talk very little to me, and the most common question is "What is our homework?". Most people knew each other before the school year started, and are not so interested in getting to know new people. And I was stuiped enough moving to a city where everybody is busy with their own lives.. So my sister and I spend a lot of time alone.

I have always done wll in school when it comes to subjects, and therefore it seams like evreybody think I am so damn happy all the time. Just because I am not afraid of talking about my opinions and views, and are interested in other people's lives. But there is so much going on inside my head. I feel that my school say is without meaning, and I have difficulties with staying there the whole day. I just can't take it any more.

And in top of all this, I chose the wrong thing to study. In Norway we can choose a lot of diiferent "school types", and I chose the one where you only have "study" subjects, like sciense, maths and language. I wish I chose music instead. You can study whatever you want afterwards, coz you have other subjects as well. I love to sing and play guitar, and want to learn piano. I visited a friend at a school with music, and it was great. Everybody was so welcoming and kind, and mature. So I'm starting next year. But it such a long waiting time. I really really look forward to it, but how can I keep going these days? Any help?

I feel like I'm just in the way, and that school is without meaning. All my near friends live far away. Any advices? Some ENFPs who have experiensed the same thing? Thank you so much.

Besides school, I have a great life. I love to help and inspire people, and weite, sing, paint, act and do politcs, and of course talk with people. i have good friends I can call, and a great family. So it is not like I am depressed or something. but school i sstill a challenge.

I am sorry if you find my english difficult, just ask if something is diffuse :) Have a nice day! :happy:
 

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Hi!

I'm sorry to hear that you're having trouble. I know from experience that school can be very difficult for us ENFP's. My experience was almost exactly the same as yours. Everyone seems superficial and no one seems to care much about anything except things you talked about (which don't matter in the long run at all). BUT I'm sure there are people there who feel the same way you do and are having the same problems. You are doing the right thing by trying to socialize with people so much. Hopefully you will find somebody you really connect with.

And, honestly, it may seem like the biggest thing in the world right now, but soon all of this will be a distant memory. I know it's hard to hear and it may not make sense, but these times will pass. You'll go to the music school and I'm sure you'll make plenty of friends there and you can do something you really enjoy. And that's what life is all about, right?:happy:

Also, remember that school is not all there is to life. Don't get caught up in trying to be popular and things like that. I have had difficulty making friends at school as well but I have friends from other places such as sports teams or summer camps or work or anywhere really. And if things ever get too difficult, jus think about how much fun you're going to have next year!:happy:

Hope I helped!
 

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Be my wife? :happy:

Jk.

I'm actually having similar problems. I skipped up a year, I didn't know anyone in my class and my old friends drifted away from me as I made friends with a bunch of bitches.

But I've been where you've been. I know it's tough, but let me tell you, I conformed recently, just to see the hype about a few things. I had a horrible time and I'm having great difficulty forgiving myself. Just stay yourself and stick to your way, at the end of the day you'll actually be happier than if you did something you didn't want to do or if you acted like someone you weren't. I can tell you to avoid this with confidence, we both use Fi and staying true to yourself is something valued strongly right? I learned the hard way that being something you're not is more harmful than people not understanding you because you're being yourself.
 

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This thing makes me think much about my own personality. I feel the same, because I can be quite extroverted at times, i mean, really, not just a posse, or speaking about stupid things, I can be very passionate at times, and I usually feel uneasy around people.
My advice is to be yourself. don't feel obsessed or bad.
you're much worthy than a shitty school in the nowhere. ENFPs will rock the world with our emotions, our pains, our smiles, and all we have. Doesn't matter if the normal people can really understand us. They know we rule them.
 

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Just ignore those people and be yourself. It will work out in the long run, trust me. My "circle of friends" may have been a bit strange, but--to me--being strange just means you're interesting. :)
 
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Just ignore those people and be yourself. It will work out in the long run, trust me. My "circle of friends" may have been a bit strange, but--to me--being strange just means you're interesting. :)
Yeah I agree. ENFPs tend to be diverse pulled between opposite social worlds...Pulled from geeks, to jokes, to stoners, to club hoppers...Not saying those groups specifically, just between groups. Do what you feel is right, keyword: FEEL we are enFp after all.

School was hard for me too. though if you're in a subject you enjoy I think you'd enjoy it despite the negative surroundings. Hey, I kept my eye that my education would bring great opportunities with the potential to earn enough money to never worry about cash again and just LIVE. And it did! I got hired a month ago for a great job ready for me the day I graduate. Stick with it and ENFPs always succeed, you'll soon be in a condo filled with weird art and music like my pad will be...And school will bring that dream much closer.
 

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I know how you feel. In high school I was a sort of a "nerd." And in certain classes I had taken in college, I was the only one who actually wanted to discuss the subject matter the class pertained to. (Or at least it seemed that way.) All I can say is be yourself. And who knows? You might just find a kindred spirit amongst the masses.

P.S.: Being from the U.S., I'm not familiar with Norway's educational system. Is there any way that you could possibly transfer to the music school?
 

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earn enough money to never worry about cash again and just LIVE.
Sorry, off topic, but damn. I really like this quote. Thats the way I view jobs as well. They just provide the means (money) for me to do the things I love. That's what life is all about. I don't really care what my position is or how much I'm actually making as long as I make enough to not think about money. I could really care less if I'm rich as long as I can do the things I want to do and as you said just LIVE. Thanks man and good luck with the job!
 

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Hi!

I'm sorry to hear that you're having trouble. I know from experience that school can be very difficult for us ENFP's. My experience was almost exactly the same as yours. Everyone seems superficial and no one seems to care much about anything except things you talked about (which don't matter in the long run at all). BUT I'm sure there are people there who feel the same way you do and are having the same problems. You are doing the right thing by trying to socialize with people so much. Hopefully you will find somebody you really connect with.

And, honestly, it may seem like the biggest thing in the world right now, but soon all of this will be a distant memory. I know it's hard to hear and it may not make sense, but these times will pass. You'll go to the music school and I'm sure you'll make plenty of friends there and you can do something you really enjoy. And that's what life is all about, right?:happy:

Also, remember that school is not all there is to life. Don't get caught up in trying to be popular and things like that. I have had difficulty making friends at school as well but I have friends from other places such as sports teams or summer camps or work or anywhere really. And if things ever get too difficult, jus think about how much fun you're going to have next year!:happy:

Hope I helped!
Yeah, you definatly helped. It is just so wonderfull hearing that someone understand you. It is true like you says - there usually is someone int he crowd you can relate to, it is just so difficult get to know them. Evreybody stays in big groups, or behind their computers. I can "feel" that there are people who are not comfortable with it, but they are terrified being alone so they follow evreything the other people do. Once in a while I get a little chat with somebody, but that is very hard because people are also terrifiled to get bad grades and study all day.. School is definatley not evreything, that is so true! I get so angry when I see how excausted it makes people. Like it is never good enough. Why couldn't we have more about "life" at school? That would be great.

I am sad to hear that you have experienced the same. It really helps to have friends from other places. I am gratefull for that.

It really made me smile when you wrote about music school next year. I can't wait :D Thank you so much!
 

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Be my wife? :happy:

Jk.

I'm actually having similar problems. I skipped up a year, I didn't know anyone in my class and my old friends drifted away from me as I made friends with a bunch of bitches.

But I've been where you've been. I know it's tough, but let me tell you, I conformed recently, just to see the hype about a few things. I had a horrible time and I'm having great difficulty forgiving myself. Just stay yourself and stick to your way, at the end of the day you'll actually be happier than if you did something you didn't want to do or if you acted like someone you weren't. I can tell you to avoid this with confidence, we both use Fi and staying true to yourself is something valued strongly right? I learned the hard way that being something you're not is more harmful than people not understanding you because you're being yourself.
Definatley :D

Yeah, it is excactly like that. If i don't stay true to myself, I feel like such a bad person and I hate that more than anything. I really apriciate tour understanding! My mom has Fe, and she has problems understanding why I can't talk "shit" with people. Just talk like people arround me does. But than I would loose myself, and that is one of my biggest fears. Then it is, like you said, much much better to not be understood.

I am sad to hear that you're experience has botherd you so much. You seem like a wonderfull person! Try not to be to hard on yourself - I think Fi have a tendency too that. I definatly have. A lot of people never thinks about what they have done in the past. It isn't fair that some people should take all the responsibility. Just that you think so much about this - says that you are a kindharted person who makes the world a better place!

I really like ENTJ's ways of thinking. It is so fascinating. I know an ENTJ from politics, and we really have interesting conversations.

Again, thank you!
 

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This thing makes me think much about my own personality. I feel the same, because I can be quite extroverted at times, i mean, really, not just a posse, or speaking about stupid things, I can be very passionate at times, and I usually feel uneasy around people.
My advice is to be yourself. don't feel obsessed or bad.
you're much worthy than a shitty school in the nowhere. ENFPs will rock the world with our emotions, our pains, our smiles, and all we have. Doesn't matter if the normal people can really understand us. They know we rule them.
Yeah, even though I am extraverted I also get uneasy arround people if I feel like I am not aprriciated, in the way or that there is "negative energy" in the room. Then I go totally into my own world - and people may think I am an introvert. We all have some introvertion even thoug we are extraverted, and visa versa. Thanks for you're advice and support, and good luck with being arround people. Hope you have someone who understands you and that you can trust and talk with :)

I reconmend you to see some interviews with J. K Rolwing - she is also an INFP. I love her way of looking at life, speaking, writing, thinking... Evreything.
 

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Just ignore those people and be yourself. It will work out in the long run, trust me. My "circle of friends" may have been a bit strange, but--to me--being strange just means you're interesting. :)
I think society have a wrong picture about "strange". It so easy to be looked upon at strange - just because you have a deep passion, an original dressing style or a special interest. Variety is great, and like you said - interseting! :D Glad to hear you'ce had great times with you're friends!
 

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Yeah I agree. ENFPs tend to be diverse pulled between opposite social worlds...Pulled from geeks, to jokes, to stoners, to club hoppers...Not saying those groups specifically, just between groups. Do what you feel is right, keyword: FEEL we are enFp after all.

School was hard for me too. though if you're in a subject you enjoy I think you'd enjoy it despite the negative surroundings. Hey, I kept my eye that my education would bring great opportunities with the potential to earn enough money to never worry about cash again and just LIVE. And it did! I got hired a month ago for a great job ready for me the day I graduate. Stick with it and ENFPs always succeed, you'll soon be in a condo filled with weird art and music like my pad will be...And school will bring that dream much closer.
Yeah, it is great spending time with different people! It's like the typology says - we have friends from all walks of life. It is a great strenght, but it can also be very difficult, since some people just want to be with a special group, and you're only "allowed" to be there if you "belong" there. Why can't we all be friends?

Yeah - but sadly most of our subjects are tiering. We never get to reflect or think or do enything except writing facts.. (Alomost). But next year will be different, and I am so thankfull for that!

Love to hear that it worked out for you, and that you're happy with you're job! :) School can be, like you said, hard. To LIVE is great. Thanks you for support!
 

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I know how you feel. In high school I was a sort of a "nerd." And in certain classes I had taken in college, I was the only one who actually wanted to discuss the subject matter the class pertained to. (Or at least it seemed that way.) All I can say is be yourself. And who knows? You might just find a kindred spirit amongst the masses.

P.S.: Being from the U.S., I'm not familiar with Norway's educational system. Is there any way that you could possibly transfer to the music school?
It is just like that here too! I am the only one who wants to discuss, and people think I weird because I'm so passionate about it. Maybe, that would be GREAT. Thanks for chearing me up! Hope ypu have found persons you can discuss interestign things with :D

Forgot to answear the question!

Sadly, it is not possible. There is only one music school in my "state", and I am only allowed to go to schools here.. It is very popular, and therfore full :( I had very good grades, so I could have gotten in, but I found out to late.. I see know that I always wanted to go there, and how important music is to me. Since I have been singing my whole life, and it has been so natural, I haven't realized before now how much I really love it and how keen I am for learning more. It is so terrible, terrible terrible knowing it is you're own fault that you're in this situation! Know I have to wait for a whole year, and thake a year extra. But atleast I get done with all the hard subjects this year :D
 

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Yeah, you definatly helped. It is just so wonderfull hearing that someone understand you. It is true like you says - there usually is someone int he crowd you can relate to, it is just so difficult get to know them. Evreybody stays in big groups, or behind their computers. I can "feel" that there are people who are not comfortable with it, but they are terrified being alone so they follow evreything the other people do.
Yeah, that's the way of the world sadly...


Once in a while I get a little chat with somebody, but that is very hard because people are also terrifiled to get bad grades and study all day.. School is definatley not evreything, that is so true! I get so angry when I see how excausted it makes people. Like it is never good enough. Why couldn't we have more about "life" at school? That would be great.
Haha, I've wondered this my whole life!



I am sad to hear that you have experienced the same. It really helps to have friends from other places. I am gratefull for that.

It really made me smile when you wrote about music school next year. I can't wait :D Thank you so much!
It's awesome that you know what you want and where you want to go in life already! You're a lot more mature than I was when I started high school. Good luck and do your best! I know you'll do great!
 

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Hi! I have a really big problem these days. Or many big problems. I've started high school this autumn, and it is terrible. I feel so lonely in class. People almost only want to talk about drinking parties, hair and make-up, and I feel they look at me like really different since I like to write poems, politics, and talk about things with "depth". I spend my whole day trying to make the rest of my class happy - asking them how they are doing, what they did in their holidays and always try to be kind and helpful, I really want to make their day happy. and get to know them. But I get nothing in return. Peole talk very little to me, and the most common question is "What is our homework?". Most people knew each other before the school year started, and are not so interested in getting to know new people. And I was stuiped enough moving to a city where everybody is busy with their own lives.. So my sister and I spend a lot of time alone.

I have always done wll in school when it comes to subjects, and therefore it seams like evreybody think I am so damn happy all the time. Just because I am not afraid of talking about my opinions and views, and are interested in other people's lives. But there is so much going on inside my head. I feel that my school say is without meaning, and I have difficulties with staying there the whole day. I just can't take it any more.

And in top of all this, I chose the wrong thing to study. In Norway we can choose a lot of diiferent "school types", and I chose the one where you only have "study" subjects, like sciense, maths and language. I wish I chose music instead. You can study whatever you want afterwards, coz you have other subjects as well. I love to sing and play guitar, and want to learn piano. I visited a friend at a school with music, and it was great. Everybody was so welcoming and kind, and mature. So I'm starting next year. But it such a long waiting time. I really really look forward to it, but how can I keep going these days? Any help?

I feel like I'm just in the way, and that school is without meaning. All my near friends live far away. Any advices? Some ENFPs who have experiensed the same thing? Thank you so much.

Besides school, I have a great life. I love to help and inspire people, and weite, sing, paint, act and do politcs, and of course talk with people. i have good friends I can call, and a great family. So it is not like I am depressed or something. but school i sstill a challenge.

I am sorry if you find my english difficult, just ask if something is diffuse :) Have a nice day! :happy:
I'm sorry to hear that you're having such a hard time. And I agree with a lot of the advice that people have given so far, but I just wanted to add something that I also thought was important.

When I was beginning high school, a lot of people were very image-driven. They projected the image that they wanted to be and focused their abilities on that as if they were that image. And a lot of people didn't talk to me because I didn't project the same image. But later on, I discovered that many people weren't like the images they tried so hard to project. So, I started talking to people regardless of image or social group or classes. And so I learned that if I tried to talk to a person like they were just themselves, I could connect with them on an individual level.

So, what I guess I'm trying to say is that some of the people may not be what they seem at first. There may be someone with whom you can connect with that you weren't expecting. I'm not sure about your situation, so I don't know if this is something that would be good for you. And you can take it if you like or leave it if you don't. I won't feel bad either way. Because often I'm just an idea generator because I think if we have enough ideas we can come up with a good solution eventually. :proud:
 

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Hahaha, I've never really had friends. The burdening feeling of isolation gives me power, if you can master that concept then you've little to worry about. But i'm an INTJ so that's easy for me, and i've such little experience with ENFPs that I really don't know what to tell you. It's hard to understand your problem as it is, but just know that every stressor is worth it in the long run, because you will always conquer it in the end! By adapting... and changing. HAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!

No one understands my ideas and so I hide them, which benefits only myself. If only others would listen to me, would they get the same results... idiots... :frustrating:
 
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