If you really want to move past all this, then there's your seed -- tend to it and eventually it'll grow into a sapling, then into a tree, and before you know it, it'll be bearing fruit. But that's a long way away; I suppose I get ahead of myself by thinking about eating fruit from a fig tree when I haven't even planted the thing in the ground yet XD
I am most definately one and am sick and tired of being so damn useless, sensitive, abstract, enslaved by my perceptions of others feelings (toward me), imaginative instead of PRACTICAL and Sturdy.
Have compassion for yourself; you may want to move full-steam ahead, but that subconscious part of you -- the INFJ that you are having problems with now -- seems to have different plans. You have to come to a compromise with that part of yourself; and the only way to do it is with compassion. The INFJ-you will not want to be practical and sturdy because, by nature, it's imaginative, sensitive, abstract...
...it's like picking up an 8 year old kid while he's right in the middle of playing with a bunch of blocks; there's going to be a lot of kicking and screaming, and even when you've accomplished the goal of getting him away from the blocks, he's going to either be pissed off or depressed or anything like that -- and that's going to end in a lot of hair pulling and frustration.
...so damn useless, sensitive, abstract, enslaved by my perceptions of others feelings (toward me), imaginative instead of PRACTICAL and Sturdy.
Sensitivity, abstract thinking, understanding others' feelings, and imagination all can work very well with extroverted intuition: a good way to practicality and sturdiness might be detaching from other's feelings toward you, and contemplating them from a distance.
We're enslaved when we don't step back; it's very easy to get caught up in others' feelings toward us and to take it personally, when the more practical option is to listen to what the person has to say, take it seriously, and to speak from a practical and sturdy standpoint, not one fraught with emotions or disorganized thinking.
I have a lot of problems with this -- we all do. That's because this is very difficult to do, and it requires complete independence. Treating everyone equally is practical and sturdy, but almost
always, we will give preference to one person or another. And when we give preference, that's when we let ourselves slip into slavery; that's when we allow other people's emotions to affect us, and instead of being practical, decisive, and solid, we tend to allow our foundation to crumble under our feet.
Naturally, my inner personal world is the strongest, and this is difficult for me because that complete independence is both what I need most and what I fear most. If there were no emotional conflict it would be much less difficult.
So I am working toward being practical and sturdy because I know I have to; so in a way, I am doing it very half-heartedly. You sound like you want to pursue that path of independence -- that is a big plus.
Anyway, yes, about extroverted intuition: if you 'think lightly of yourself and deeply of the world,' I think you may find that all the sensitivities and abstract thoughts you have may be very well-suited to strengthening your practicality and sturdiness: and they can do that by helping you to form a very clear picture of the outside world, and to see patterns and connections between all sorts of things. Using knowledge of the inner world to identify realities in the outer world -- this is how we all learn, I take it.
Just remember not to beat yourself up; I want to change too, but I have personally found that change is impossible when I demonize any part of myself that I want to work on. Compassion is the way to go -- if you want to improve, don't think of your sensitivities as weaknesses, but as children that need to be taught how to live in the world.
Steady integration -- baby steps -- a seed growing into a tree --
...you might like "Lieh-Tzu: A Taoist Guide to Practical Living" by Eva Wong. In the meantime, I recommend this page:
EXY · KOANS
...as well as this page:
http://www.essene.com/B%27nai-Amen/j-precau.htm
...as well as this page:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dokkōdō
Take care, and good luck to you
EDIT: Please take what I say with a grain of salt; I'm learning too, and one trap I've found is that 'over-zealousness' in growing. We see problems in ourselves, or deficiencies or difficulties, and there can be a habit to drop them 'cold turkey' and just go full throttle into recovery. But recovery, like all other forms of learning, is a slow process; you have to walk before you can run.
Embracing recovery can lead to neglecting to embrace what is damaged in the present moment. A builder can see in his mind what the house will look like, but if he's lost in designs and blueprints to excess, the work will be delayed and progress will actually be put off.
I can appreciate the links I provided here, and I find all that to be very valuable information; but at the same time, I have to acknowledge that trying to tackle the breadth of meaning in all those writings is, again, like trying to run before I've learned how to walk -- it's fathoming blueprints and fantasizing about designs without actually accomplishing anything.
That is ironic, because the very wispy state you are trying to escape may be maintained by an over-eagerness to escape it. It is simply another kind of wisp! There are pitfalls everywhere; so all I can say is be mindful, and take things slowly -- I will be trying to do the same in the meantime, as well as the rest of us, I'm sure
Take care.
