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Well, I am not a girl, but I am responding.

I honestly am not attracted to the tan, popularized image you described, but I think a tan can be attractive. That said, I easily notice and distinguish between the girls who happen to get out in the sun and get a nice tan versus the ones that tan obsessively in the sun or in the parlor, getting their tan perfectly even. I do not find the latter very attractive. Pale can be beautiful, too, but one shouldn't obsessively avoid the sun, either.

Do you feel pressured that being a few shades lighter than other tan girls reduces your attractiveness in comparison? If so, don't feel that way, because I, as a male, do not look at it that way. And besides, do you really want the approval of the males who fall for the conventional image?
 

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My friend is the complete obvious archetype for conventional beauty. Skinny, with um... some you know, heaviness up top, blonde(by force, not nature), blue eyed and tan. She gets all the guys. Even though, to be completely honest (and I really do love her), she's not the brightest crayon in the box, or at least she doesn't portray herself that way to them. Some of the guys she's dated have even been completely intelligent people who I've had nice conversations with and would not expect to date someone completely based on looks. They do anyway. Maybe it's where I live, but it really seems like the idea of the barbie isn't going away.

This is not jealousy. I think she's gorgeous and I'm glad people like her. But it bothers me for her sake. They don't want her for her. She can't spot this but I can and I'm sick of watching it. And this striving to be pretty? Doing some damage. Her hair has significantly become thinner from dying it blonde for nearly 7 years, her skin on her face is dry and constantly peeling from the tanning beds and her self esteem is lower than it's ever been. Constant, "Am I fatter than her? Am I as tan? Am I prettier?" are not a good sign.

There is nothing wrong with blonde hair (I'm blonde! Don't be offended!), or blue eyes, being tan, or even conventional beauty but I think society would improve if that wasn't the only standard that people felt they had to adhere to. Be whatever you are.
 

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i don't like tan and blondes are a bit overrated, my ideas of beauty are pretty diffrent than the soical norm:i don't like skinny girls at all, and i prefer brunettes. personally though i like it when i have a tan,not leik sayingi go and get tanned i just gooutsdie in summer and i get tanned and i think it is an improvement for me
 

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I'm the tannest I've been in years and I'm still several shades lighter than what most people are in the very earliest spring. As for conventional beauty, the only feminine clothes I have are my work clothes and an outfit or two that I wear when casual-casual attire is a nogo. I don't really do my hair, unless even bothering to run a comb through it before I race out the door is doing anything to it (though I do enjoy it when I take the time to find something fun with it) and I only wear contacts for dance class because I almost broke my glasses doing spins across the floor. Make-up... I don't even know where it is right now. I'm not as curvy as I have been (hips've stayed the same but my waist and stomach looked A-Maze-Ing after boot camp-my waist is about 2" more than it was then. :dry: ) but I still have a decent hour-glass figure. At least when you can see it as I've a lot of big and comfy t-shirts I like to wear...

The funniest thing is that I still get more compliments than I ever would have imagined because I don't bother trying to play it up most of the time. I'm just chillin' and that seems to be worth much more than the gals who spend 2 hours getting ready to go out to the store. I admire the ones who do that because they've obviously got some motivation and focus hiding in there somewhere. Yes, they are pretty, some are even gorgeous if you can tell that they work hard for their figure, but I tend to think that unless they've got a personality that you can see in their eyes and face and the way they carry themselves, then all the beauty fades in my eyes. One of my best friends when I was younger is not necessarily a text-book beauty, though she does have the blond hair/blue eyes thing going on, but you better believe that she was one of the most sought after girls in my class because her personality was so bright and big and hard to ignore. The other girls who fit the stereotypical idea of beauty had to chase after the guys, not the other way around.
 
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I tend to find conventional beauty rather disgusting. In fact, physical appearance isn't much of a factor in genuine attractions with me. It's more about the essence of a person. What I do like physically is a woman who looks healthy and has some sort of unconventional perfection going on - it's rather hard to describe. Just, a bunch of little features, some imperfect, together just sing and make a beautiful symphony.

EDIT: of course, I don't try to look like that, either. That would just be... wrong.
 

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The only beauty I consider beauty is unconventional. :crazy:

Fake tans make me want to cry. All these girls risking skin cancer to get the wrong guys to be attracted to them... Sometimes in summer I have a light tan, but that's because being out in nature is something important to me! And it's a completely introverted thing to do because I mostly explore by myself and wonder about my spiritual connection to this planet and the universe, things like that ^^;

But generally, I don't tan, I burn. I don't know if being a tomato is anything anyone would consider 'beauty' but I honestly couldn't care less. :tongue:

Also, my boyfriend finds my paleness really attractive. So don't give up hope, all of you! Some people actually prefer that! :crazy:
 

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Discussion Starter #9
There was this girl I knew. She really doesn't like me, and she would tan to the point where she would look like a slick sea lion. She bleaches her hair platinum blonde and piles on eye makeup. I really don't mind that she's doing those things, but then she gets this attitude... Ugh. :bored:

She would always try to "one up" me when it comes to looks, but I let her have all the fun... In the end, I'm glad I don't have to worry about getting skin cancer. :sad: I feel a little sorry for her, honestly, and that's not me saying that just to appear more elite than her, I really do feel bad for her deep down.
 

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That kind of 'beauty' is terribly boring. It's so... common. There's nothing really unique about it... it's too perfect. Yuck. Yuuuuuuck!!! Fake fans are gross, as are bottle blonds! Double yuck. Same with torpedo tits. I don't understand why a chick would want tits like that. It's so wrong.

I'm getting my tan back. Last Summer, I was brown as those girls in Baywatch. It was pretty amazing. I actually kind of miss it...
 

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I like getting a little sun. I'm not fond of the tan it creates and the damage that's probably doing. The skin on my upper arms is pale and smooth, that's how I like it. If the tanning trend isn't dying, it needs to.
 
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I have a few more thoughts about tanning. To be honest, I thoroughly enjoy lying out in the sun! As the rays of sun pelt me with waves of varying intensity, I like to imagine in my mind the energy from this distant, yet nearby star interacting with the energy from my body. I imagine the sensation of the chemical processes taking place - the benefactory process of the sun creating vitamin D for my body, and the melanin increasing over the surface of my body. The swirling energy becomes a vibrational sense of oneness. So the point is, I like tanning.

By the way, since people have mentioned skin cancer... our bodies are built and equipped to handle the sun's rays; not as well as thousands of years ago when human bodies were in better condition to handle the sun, partly due to a better ozone, but I believe these skin cancer incidents are largely the fault of humans, more so than the sun, because we have disrupted our physiological processes and the actions between the sun's rays and our bodies. Skin cancer incidents are highest in countries where sunblock use is highest. Our synthetic chemicals play a largely unknown intermediary role between sun and body. In the United States, skin cancer rates among African Americans is very high, but in Africa skin cancer is almost unknown (except South Africa). So really, it is the general health of our bodies and the skin in their ability to protect from and utilize the sun's rays that affects whether the sun is ultimately damaging or helpful to us.

One other thing...people are being told they need to wear sunglasses when in the sun to protect their eyes, and in certain instances that is good, but not when tanning or when exposing your skin to the sun for long periods of time. The reason is because our eyes have receptors that, when ultraviolet rays of sunlight hit them, send a signal to the skin to begin the process of protection and metabolisis. Those receptors cannot be activated through sunglasses, so wearing sunglasses actually makes you more prone to sun burn damage, and as a result, more prone to skin cancer later on.

Anyway those are my thoughts!
 

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About conventional beauty..and the idea of subscribing to it..(what is conventional beauty anyway? it's most likely imaginary and insecure people might just want to brainwash us to feel ugly, hah)..sorry if this is off topic but I just remembered.

My male ex best friend Jon used to say that of all the 50+ (I'm not even sure now if he was telling the truth) girls he dated, I was one of those with the best personalities but lowest in terms of looks :bored: *rolls eyes* I remember him me secretly agonizing over it. And I'd tell myself that I should look hotter and more stylish to be in a 'higher' league. And then I also remember after I broke up with my third ex, my ex best friend was telling me about how his fling had a hotter body to rub it in, etc. *Shudders* Story of my past. I wonder why the hell I was best friends with me. Imagine coming across him today, I'd roll my eyes at him or kick his ass a little.
 

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*A wild non-infp appears~* Hai guise..

I just wanted to say I also agree with a lot of what you have said in here. If someone happens to be naturally tan, thats cool.. but naturally pale skin looks so much nicer kept pale. I have always been one to prefer natural looking people - whatever natural is for the individual. Nature is pretty, not some fakey cultural standard mess. :wink:
 

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About tanning... I used to naturally soak up the sun really easily; I could go to the beach for a week and I would be toasty brown all year long. I only ever got sunburned once, and I didn't even feel it, lol, it was just on my arms a little, pretty mild. Now, for some reason, with or without sunblock, the sun seems to just bounce off my skin - I don't burn/tan at all. :confused:
 

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I am physically incapable of tanning.

My skin turns ruddy and I get freckles...which I often obsess over, because of the prevalence of skin cancer.

I just don't find tanning attractive, though!
Pale skin is like a souvenir of youth. It's soft, and does not have wrinkles...

Why anyone would PAY MONEY to age their skin and increase their risk of disease is beyond my comprehension.
 
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