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Discussion Starter #1
I'm currently working my way through college to be an electrical engineering technician, I'm seriously starting to question the point of it all, it's like an endless cycle of work and school all to chase the all mighty dollar.

I'm currently a computer technician at a local store, I don't particularally enjoy it, it's just a job to me.

I feel like a slave to societial standards, It just seems pointless, I don't give two shits about money yet I decided to get 40,000 dollars into debt so I can make one day make 20-25 dollars an hour. (half of which will probably go to pay off student loans for the next decade.)

I feel like an indentured servant, forced to play a societial role, forced to play this fucked up little game called "life".

It seems to all revolve around money, which I don't give two shits about.

I would be happy living in a small home in the country, growing my own food and living off the land, occasionally creating works of art or maybe even studying the universe (independently, not for money.) but in our modern society all of those things require this "energy" we call money.
Which in reality is worth absolutely nothing but everyone is content with living the lie, so the lie continues, simply based on a mass mindset.

The Majority agrees on a set of rules and we are all expected to live by them, even if they make absolutely no sense, I absolutely hate it. I recently had a dream, where I was talking to the spirits of my dead relatives, they told me I would be dead before 2019, in my dream I was quite elated, almost as if it was a release.

I am doing all of these things but I am not fulfilled, I am not happy, it is just a depressing cycle, I can't quit my job because my family relies on me to bring home the bacon, I just feel forced to live by a set of rules that I did not agree to, almost as if from birth I was forced into this world and to live by it's rules, it's almost as if living on an alien planet.

I know I'm rambling a bit but It's getting close to my bedtime so I'm a bit tired but I wanted to know if the rest of you feel the same way?

Does it seem unfair?

Do you feel like you are forced into a life of unhappiness only to satisfy others?
 

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Don't complain about it and then stick with it.

I completely agree with your views and opinion, however I was 'smart enough' so far to not being obligated to bring anyone any bacon but myself. I dropped out of University and instead went with a classic apprentice ship within the IT field and am soon done.

Afterward I'd preferably work only half-time rather than full-time and live my life happy-go-lucky.

I'm not indebted, either. Fortunately.

If you play along any more than you absolutely must, then you can't blame the system but only yourself. You can use the system in place to your advantage by giving it only the bare minimum.
 

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Discussion Starter #3
Don't complain about it and then stick with it.

I completely agree with your views and opinion, however I was 'smart enough' so far to not being obligated to bring anyone any bacon but myself. I dropped out of University and instead went with a classic apprentice ship within the IT field and am soon done.

Afterward I'd preferably work only half-time rather than full-time and live my life happy-go-lucky.

I'm not indebted, either. Fortunately.

If you play along any more than you absolutely must, then you can't blame the system but only yourself. You can use the system in place to your advantage by giving it only the bare minimum.
Unfortunately it's not quite that simple in my case, I have to provide for my 77 year old grandmother and I'm about half way done with college so I can't just up and quit, although sometimes I wish I had never started.
 

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Unfortunately it's not quite that simple in my case, I have to provide for my 77 year old grandmother and I'm about half way done with college so I can't just up and quit, although sometimes I wish I had never started.

I can identify mostly with your opening post, but I do feel I need to say that you are never obligated to finish anything -- although I understand to walk away from college at this stage will probably result in a substantial loss without any opportunity to bump up your later income (since the college degree would not be completed).

Pretty much we're given a bunch of set rules to operate under in life, and we can choose at any moment to step out from under them if we are willing to accept the trade-off. Maybe the college loss is too great to just walk away from, but I've discovered that in life it can be tempting to throw good money after bad simply to try to recover losses, and that it just kind of deepens the financial codependence there, you just get more and more mired in the situation you're tossing money into. Eventually you get in so deep that you can't walk away without the losses being so signficant that you feel very trapped.

I suppose since you have your grandmother + are halfway through the degree that you should finish the time out and get that degree and benefit from the investment... but afterwards, feel very cautious in the future about entering the game that you don't like playing. For you personally, it sounds like you need to experience more freedom.
 

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What you're describing pretty much fits the definition of Weltschmerz. It is said that connecting with others on more than just the plane of small talk is beneficial. Get ideas from them, think of what you could do etcetera.
 

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You're halfway through, might as well finish what you started with the amount of student debt you've racked up. I had a crisis during my first year of university.

What in the hell am I doing here? Is this it? I'm going to get a nice tidy life and live by a nice tidy set of rules and everything predetermined for me? It felt like I was following a script. At the end of the school year, I did a runner. I still lived in England at the time with an EU passport and grew up with my parents moving around western Europe, but never had the chance to see the sights. I already knew people who lived in all these different cities. I decided to visit them on pocket change. I wandered for nearly 3 years. At first family called it backpacking. Then eventually realized I was basically semi-homeless and content. But I grew up, got it out of my system and managed to make a career without a degree using the gift of the gab I was born with.

Maybe when you're finished the degree, you can take off. It's hard for debt to follow you abroad, I hear. But I don't know much about your student loans, but they'll still be here when you get back. How did you alone become responsible for grandma?
 

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Discussion Starter #9
I want to say thank you to everyone here, it's nice to know I'm not alone in my sentiment.

You're halfway through, might as well finish what you started with the amount of student debt you've racked up. I had a crisis during my first year of university.

What in the hell am I doing here? Is this it? I'm going to get a nice tidy life and live by a nice tidy set of rules and everything predetermined for me? It felt like I was following a script. At the end of the school year, I did a runner. I still lived in England at the time with an EU passport and grew up with my parents moving around western Europe, but never had the chance to see the sights. I already knew people who lived in all these different cities. I decided to visit them on pocket change. I wandered for nearly 3 years. At first family called it backpacking. Then eventually realized I was basically semi-homeless and content. But I grew up, got it out of my system and managed to make a career without a degree using the gift of the gab I was born with.

Maybe when you're finished the degree, you can take off. It's hard for debt to follow you abroad, I hear. But I don't know much about your student loans, but they'll still be here when you get back. How did you alone become responsible for grandma?
The whole backpacking around thing actually sounds quite nice, not so materialistic but totally free.

As for being responsible for my grandmother, I've lived with her since I was a small child, she has always taken care of me, my uncle lives here as well but sadly, he's going to prison soon. So it's up to me to take care of her, especially since she's always looked after me.

I've considered suicide quite a bit lately although my family has had alot of death. (my 15 year old cousin committed suicide about 4 years ago as well as many other family tragedies that I don't care to discuss)

So it seems suicide isn't even an option, as it would destroy my family all over again, it's truly a conundrum.
 

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I want to say thank you to everyone here, it's nice to know I'm not alone in my sentiment.



The whole backpacking around thing actually sounds quite nice, not so materialistic but totally free.

As for being responsible for my grandmother, I've lived with her since I was a small child, she has always taken care of me, my uncle lives here as well but sadly, he's going to prison soon. So it's up to me to take care of her, especially since she's always looked after me.

I've considered suicide quite a bit lately although my family has had alot of death. (my 15 year old cousin committed suicide about 4 years ago as well as many other family tragedies that I don't care to discuss)

So it seems suicide isn't even an option, as it would destroy my family all over again, it's truly a conundrum.
I take it she has no pension, savings or social security? Where are her kids/siblings/cousins and friends?
 

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Discussion Starter #11
I take it she has no pension, savings or social security? Where are her kids/siblings/cousins and friends?
She's got social security, no savings left though. Also social security doesn't really pay enough for her to pay the taxes on her house. (her house is all she really has)

She originally had 5 kids, 1 daughter is raising a family of her own (my aunt). One of her sons got sick one day and died when he was in his 40's, I remember when we found him dead in his room, I was 8 at the time. Her other daughter (my mother) she has a strained relationship with (as do I) because she used to be a drug addict and she suffers with mental problems.

She has another daughter that we never hear from and of course her son (my uncle) who lives here is going to be going to prison in a couple of weeks.

Not only that but two of my family members (my cousin who shot him self and my uncle whom I found dead) have committed murder, it's bad but if you want to send me a pm I'll explain in better detail the circumstances of what happened.

Our family has never had it easy...
 

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All the more important to get out of there and experience the free side of life, leaving all these people behind. I, too, left my family behind for most part. They'll always be what they are, family, but they're not good for me.

How's she faring anyway? My grandparents (I lived with them for 3 years) would've never held me back from anything, but at best be concerned they were holding me back. While I see your sentiment and understand them, if your grandma is healthy and content rather than crude and bitter she might even support you in making a cut.

That cut will be important for your development as well, as I'm certain you carry enough baggage around as is, which then can finally be dropped or be dealt with more appropriately. There's a point in life where a line needs to be drawn.

That isn't to say throwing the hands in the air shouting "I don't give a fuck" is what you should do, but least make the experience that such positions can be acquired in life and they're probably closer than you'd like to think at this point.
 

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She's got social security, no savings left though. Also social security doesn't really pay enough for her to pay the taxes on her house. (her house is all she really has)

She originally had 5 kids, 1 daughter is raising a family of her own (my aunt). One of her sons got sick one day and died when he was in his 40's, I remember when we found him dead in his room, I was 8 at the time. Her other daughter (my mother) she has a strained relationship with (as do I) because she used to be a drug addict and she suffers with mental problems.

She has another daughter that we never hear from and of course her son (my uncle) who lives here is going to be going to prison in a couple of weeks.

Not only that but two of my family members have committed murder, both are now dead. Our family has never had it easy...
Your aunt should take care of her. I'm raising a family and I'd take care of my mother and not expect my nephew in college to be responsible for my own mother.

We've had some suicides and prison in my Dad's family. Always pulled the family closer together. They might not be an educated or churched lot and they swear like sailors. But hardship was always what made them pull tighter. It's a shame that isn't how your family responded. Even after my great-grandmother died (matriarch who ran the pub for decades), we've kept contact with her siblings kids and grandkids and great-grandkids. Still have my Nan's siblings (all boys known collectively as the uncles) and their kids and grandkids. It's a big family.
 

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Discussion Starter #14
All the more important to get out of there and experience the free side of life, leaving all these people behind. I, too, left my family behind for most part. They'll always be what they are, family, but they're not good for me.

How's she faring anyway? My grandparents (I lived with them for 3 years) would've never held me back from anything, but at best be concerned they were holding me back. While I see your sentiment and understand them, if your grandma is healthy and content rather than crude and bitter she might even support you in making a cut.
I think you're misunderstanding, I truly want to help her, she has always been my rock, she has been a mother to me ever since I was a child and she's truly the kindest person I know, her life has essentially been a series of tragedies, she's alot worse off than I am.

That being said, it's just alot of pressure right now, a feeling of being trapped more than anything, I want to help I just hate feeling trapped in the cycle.
 

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I am doing all of these things but I am not fulfilled, I am not happy, it is just a depressing cycle, I can't quit my job because my family relies on me to bring home the bacon, I just feel forced to live by a set of rules that I did not agree to, almost as if from birth I was forced into this world and to live by it's rules, it's almost as if living on an alien planet.


My case is even worse, I'm studying architecture and there's literally no jobs in my country (Spain), the career is fucking hard and I hate it, but it's too late to quit, I will have to go find a job somewhere else, leaving home only to survive and not feel like a charge to my parents, and I'll be forced to work 12h every day for a shitty salary, after 24 years of studying.
 

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I'm currently working my way through college to be an electrical engineering technician, I'm seriously starting to question the point of it all, it's like an endless cycle of work and school all to chase the all mighty dollar.

I'm currently a computer technician at a local store, I don't particularally enjoy it, it's just a job to me.

I feel like a slave to societial standards, It just seems pointless, I don't give two shits about money yet I decided to get 40,000 dollars into debt so I can make one day make 20-25 dollars an hour. (half of which will probably go to pay off student loans for the next decade.)

I feel like an indentured servant, forced to play a societial role, forced to play this fucked up little game called "life".

It seems to all revolve around money, which I don't give two shits about.

I would be happy living in a small home in the country, growing my own food and living off the land, occasionally creating works of art or maybe even studying the universe (independently, not for money.) but in our modern society all of those things require this "energy" we call money.
Which in reality is worth absolutely nothing but everyone is content with living the lie, so the lie continues, simply based on a mass mindset.

The Majority agrees on a set of rules and we are all expected to live by them, even if they make absolutely no sense, I absolutely hate it. I recently had a dream, where I was talking to the spirits of my dead relatives, they told me I would be dead before 2019, in my dream I was quite elated, almost as if it was a release.

I am doing all of these things but I am not fulfilled, I am not happy, it is just a depressing cycle, I can't quit my job because my family relies on me to bring home the bacon, I just feel forced to live by a set of rules that I did not agree to, almost as if from birth I was forced into this world and to live by it's rules, it's almost as if living on an alien planet.

I know I'm rambling a bit but It's getting close to my bedtime so I'm a bit tired but I wanted to know if the rest of you feel the same way?

Does it seem unfair?

Do you feel like you are forced into a life of unhappiness only to satisfy others?
Yes! I hate feeling like the drone that society wants me to be. Sometimes I just wish I were a mindless animal, then I wouldn't have to feel the pressures of daily life. The primitive mindset scares me but also seems intriguing.
 

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I would be happy living in a small home in the country, growing my own food and living off the land, occasionally creating works of art or maybe even studying the universe (independently, not for money.) but in our modern society all of those things require this "energy" we call money.
Nothing is stopping you from doing this.
Sure there is defiantly a system in play that is fucked up but that docent mean you haft to comply to it.

If you look at the system from within the system then yea of corse it looks grim. You haft to think outside the box.

By fact that you notice the system means that you can live in it and use it to your advantage.

Its really not so bad if you just do your own thing. Its almost like it docent even exist when I take it out of my existence.
 

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Its not even "modern" society, money has been "important" for like 5000 years now, it not a new thing. Of course its only getting worse because we put more and more importance into it so everybody needs/wants it. I can't wait for the day oxygen has to be paid for. :dry:
 

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Nothing is stopping you from doing this.
Sure there is defiantly a system in play that is fucked up but that docent mean you haft to comply to it.

If you look at the system from within the system then yea of corse it looks grim. You haft to think outside the box.

By fact that you notice the system means that you can live in it and use it to your advantage.

Its really not so bad if you just do your own thing. Its almost like it docent even exist when I take it out of my existence.
haft - definition of haft by the Free Online Dictionary, Thesaurus and Encyclopedia.

What you actually want to say is "have"
 
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