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I hate not being able to communicate well. It feels so very lonely at times.

One contributing factor towards this is I seem to have trouble translating my experiences and thoughts into words. Many of them are so bizarre and complex that words do not do them justice. Connecting with others through words, even if I can relate to the person well, is something that I have always struggling with.

Another contributing factor is that I have had so few life experiences compared to many people. Hell, I've never even been in a relationship with anyone, and I'm 36. I'm just socially inept all around.

Can anyone relate to any of this?
 

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yes i can relate im not sure what the solution is thoigh but i am finding i communjcate much better online or txting im also ok one on one, usually more people there are.the harder it is though
 

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well, maybe keeping a journal or diary, smwhere where you arent exactly talking to anyone else, just urself, will help u express urself better. I believe we all have the power to express ourselves, we just need to TRUST what we want to express.
 

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Yes this happens to me a lot depending on the topic, but i'm improving fast :)
Just need to talk talk talk, write... do it. More difficult it's to communicate less we tend to do it and that wont end well. There are times when i feel words just come out perfectly, flowing beautifully surprising even myself and times when i'm bogged by my own overactive mind. Speaking or writing as fast as your thoughts flow would be amazing, because it's distraction when you need to get that one thing out and you're already way ahead.
 

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I think there's just something about the INFP personality that makes verbal communication difficult. I am terrible at it. I either don't get out the words to accurately convey what I am trying to say, or what I say makes sense to me, but gets misconstrued by the listener.

This is probably why I became a journalist. I have no problem whatsoever communicating my feelings and thoughts to paper, or electronically. In fact, I have won multiple awards from my state's press association for my ability to do so.

I don't know if you have tried committing your thoughts and feelings to paper (or a computer screen...LOL), but you might find it to be much, much easier if you do.

I just flat-out tell people I'm not a talker. I tried for years to improve, and I couldn't. I'm not going to beat myself to death over it. God didn't give me the gift of gab, and that's all there is to it.
 

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I think there's just something about the INFP personality that makes verbal communication difficult. I am terrible at it. I either don't get out the words to accurately convey what I am trying to say, or what I say makes sense to me, but gets misconstrued by the listener.

This is probably why I became a journalist. I have no problem whatsoever communicating my feelings and thoughts to paper, or electronically. In fact, I have won multiple awards from my state's press association for my ability to do so.

I don't know if you have tried committing your thoughts and feelings to paper (or a computer screen...LOL), but you might find it to be much, much easier if you do.

I just flat-out tell people I'm not a talker. I tried for years to improve, and I couldn't. I'm not going to beat myself to death over it. God didn't give me the gift of gab, and that's all there is to it.
i agree. i'm better at written communication, where I can word things differently and thoughtfully emphasize certain points. I can also rework phrases and make them clearer and more concise. I feel like when I'm actually speaking, I get too abstract and lost in the way I like to think about things, sometimes. I usually lose people and have to figure out more concrete ways of explaining things.
 

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Most people are exactly alike. They find certain things offputting, other things excite them, but they are never calm.
Think of who ever you're talking to as if their brain is a clone of your brain.
What do you want a person to do for you? What would make you feel at ease? Treat others that way and then work on yourself from there, to see how to get what you want from people.
What you say matters little to others, but how you make them feel is what makes them want to be around you or to avoid you.
 

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I am brilliant in written communication, but verbal, which is so integral in functioning in the world, is something I painfully struggle with all the time. Nothing is more frustrating than conveying something verbally and having everyone around you not "get it". We understand them. Why can't they get us?! I'm always going to keep trying though, to get better at verbal communication, even if I'm always going to suck at it. I think that's why I practice conversations in the shower sometimes or when I'm driving home, because I want to get the same clarity of expression in verbal communication that I do in writing. The practice sessions allow me to go back and rephrase something a different way if I didn't like how it could be taken, or pick up a different train of thought if I think that will reach a certain person better than another. It may seem nuts to have conversations by "myself", but for something I want, it's worth how strange it looks.

lol Nucky, I sooooo feel your pain. Hang in there. We can't be great at everything :)

Oh, and do remember, there are times where an INFP knows what to say when everyone else is searching for words. Maybe we wouldn't be who we are if we could say everything we wanted so beautifully all the time. Then we'd be our ENFJ cousins ;)
 

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I'm actually not bad at communicating my thoughts coherently.

Somedays, though, I am too lazy to talk. I don't want people to talk to me, and if they do I get very hrmphhh. I end up talking like:



Most of the time I'm in my thoughts. But when someone asks me something regarding an issue like: What do you think about developing countries and pollution (weird example, I know)? I will be quick and give them a list of things to support my opinions.

I think about a lot of stuff on my own, so when it comes to discussing, I already have the 'equipment' to share well-constructed ideas (at least to me they are haha).

If I don't know about the subject at hand, I'll be honest and say, "I don't know enough about this topic; actually, I know nothing on this matter." And I refuse to give my view points because that'll just make me feel... silly.
 

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i'm pretty good at "faking it" in short bursts, like a job interview or a party... but i'm not really myself. i'm just kindof automatically responding in the most uh... i dunno. just trying to be friendly and fun and whatever. but talking like this with people (being "on") doesn't really let me be myself and the people never get to know me. and i get worn out really fast, too. i can't keep it up for long.

if i'm trying to be myself around someone and really tell them my actual thoughts and have an actual, real conversation with them... it's a lot harder for me to say what i want to say.

boo :(

like, super close friends... i'm really not bad at expressing myself. i'll eventually get there to my point, i may have to ramble a bit, but given how complicated what i want to express usually IS haha... i think i do okay. but aquaintences and stuff, i have a VERY hard time communicating with. i just don't know what i'm doing.
 

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I hate not being able to communicate well. It feels so very lonely at times.

One contributing factor towards this is I seem to have trouble translating my experiences and thoughts into words. Many of them are so bizarre and complex that words do not do them justice. Connecting with others through words, even if I can relate to the person well, is something that I have always struggling with.

Another contributing factor is that I have had so few life experiences compared to many people. Hell, I've never even been in a relationship with anyone, and I'm 36. I'm just socially inept all around.

Can anyone relate to any of this?
Wow. Did you ever come to the right place?!

Each of us has our own mode. Determining what that mode is...that is the key, I think.

Some of us communicate best through the written word. I speak better and faster with my fingers than lips. Perhaps artists communicate best through their fantastic and wonderful paintings, drawings, sculptures?

Whatever your mode is, I am certain there is a treasure within you. Everyone has one.
 

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Most people are exactly alike. They find certain things offputting, other things excite them, but they are never calm.
Think of who ever you're talking to as if their brain is a clone of your brain.
What do you want a person to do for you? What would make you feel at ease? Treat others that way and then work on yourself from there, to see how to get what you want from people.
What you say matters little to others, but how you make them feel is what makes them want to be around you or to avoid you.

That reminds me of a quote I once heard, "People don't care how much you know; they just like to know how much you care."
 

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I can communicate verbally quite well when I am comfortable with a person, but usually I am only comfortable if they get me, hence they understand what I am trying to say...
I do not think I communicate well through written language either. I am too careless. If I spend a lot of time writing an email maybe.... My thoughts just are not linear, so it makes writing difficult for most to follow.
 

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I like to run up behind people and put one hand on each of their shoulders and shake them a bit while sharing my enthusiasm. Its like a hug that isn't a hug. I love it. I can do it with almost anyone.

Then when I talk I try to keep my responses down to about this length of sentence.

Well i made it here without getting flicked off today.

Oh well for some reason i like to go 25 over the speed limit.

But thats okay, because I have a great radar detector. (make enthusiastic sarcastic or knowing im weird face)

It really makes life so much easier, but anyway, whats up with you?

Wow, that seems nuts, why did you do that?

Oh thats cool, well, i try to avoid that when I can.

Haha, yeah, hmm...

Pause, looks around, moves, scratches chin

So, i wonder what kind of crazy bla bla will happen today?




I think the trick is to just say short interesting sentences and wait for feedback, and, do weird quirky things but not too much so that it shows u arent just focusing on them and they dont have to feel self conscious.

*shrugs, idk haha :)
 
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