I fell in love for a short period of time, and it was online and once I met the person, I fell out of love and I'm not attracted to them anymore, because of their personality. Yes, most of you know wtf I'm talking about, we made such a huge deal about us for such a long time. There are times when I feel like I can love this person, other times I am not happy. I don't know if this is my fault or if it's him. It makes me sad, and it makes me revert into day dreaming and imagining actually being in love.
Have any suggestions? Don't be offended if I disagree with them btw, just saying.
Meak - I suppose my intuition always gets ahead of myself - but this (your post) is likely why we have to talk. You are somehow part of my healing process. I was recently involved with a Type 4 male, and I could see from a distance his romantic nature. I too can get quite emotional. So what I did for a long while, was remain at a distance from him, in my heart. Then his 'romantic' words really eroded my efforts, and eventually, I developed some feelings for him. Now he has left me, likely onto another romance with another lady who has captured his interest - but I feel so abandoned in my heart.
Now I am not criticizing you in any way, because regardless of type so many people get carried away in 'romance'. However it is important for each person to take responsibility for the things they say and do. I was very cautious with him, he fought with me saying that I was skeptical, etc, but I was on firm ground with him, stating he shouldn't say things to me if he didn't mean it, or make promises that he cannot fulfill. I let my love for him grow regardless - I think me being so tough, pushed him to treat me more romantically.
Overall it is a messy situation. One that I believe is avoidable. Please look into yourself, and find reasons why you as Type 4, have these romantic ways. It is good to be so romantic and beautiful, but it can really hurt others, when your feelings are show in an enthusiastic way, and then when the feelings are gone, the other person may be involved (it took them some time to get caught up) and they may feel abandoned.
I think it is good to explore romantic feelings - just be clear and up front, whether it is fantasy or reality for yourself, and be clear to others too. If you are unsure, err on the side of caution with communication. I did this recently too, I had another mini-affair of the heart, but it was really awesome. I said to him - this is going to be fantasy, and I'm not interested in a relationship right now. And we have now parted, but no feelings hurt on either end. So there are ways to get around this 'Romantic' stuff. But in the meantime, I would advise you to get control over what is said and not said to others, and also to try to not make promises that cannot be kept. This is what I would tell my friend, but he has disappeared on me, leaving my heart gapping open and in pain. But I am highly forgiving, maybe he will come to know this if he comes back - but I don't think he will.
Girl, don't be hard on yourself, this is all about growing up, in love and life. But I know, from being around my Type 4 friend, he was extremely hard on himself, I could feel it, although he never showed me this. And I want to help him, but that is out of my hands. I just wished he was more responsible, and not leading me on. I don't doubt that he cared for me 'in the moment' but making promises that can't be kept is painful - that he should not have done.
