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Hello! I am an INTP. I have traveled a long way from home to get here, and I hope you all could give me some advice.

I've had a crush on a female INFJ for around a year. During this year, she has been my main interest and really is the only reason I get up in the morning. If she's sad, I'm sad... if she's happy, I'm happy. Without her, I feel like there is really nothing to look forward to during the day and thus I am not motivated.

But, the thing is, I am very unsure of whether or not she likes me. She seems very interested in me. She questions my taste in books, music, etc. and I'm pretty sure she never talks to anybody else about that sort of thing. Maybe it's just because I am a very knowledgeable person in those fields and display interest... idk. She asks me questions like where I want to go to college or what I want to be. She remembers stuff I say and do, because she will bring them up in conversation days later. Do you guys do this with everybody? I know I myself am a very different person.. do you think she likes me or is just observing me?

Also, should I make the first move? I really don't want to make the first move... do you think she would have told me already or would've hinted already that she likes me if she really did? I have a very low self-esteem when it comes to talking to her because... well... you know us INTPs. I almost never have anything together.. I wear the same 5 shirts everyday, I say embarrassing things, I have an F in biology, etc. She has every single aspect of her life very organized and I feel like the chances of her wanting to really start a serious relationship with me is so slim... oh yeah, btw, SHE STARTED A CLOTHING LINE. A CLOTHING LINE. HOW TOGETHER DOES YOUR LIFE HAVE TO BE TO START A CLOTHING LINE. WE ARENT EVEN OUT OF HIGHSCHOOL YET...

Is it ok if I start hinting that I like her... do you think maybe she will realize that I like her and maybe then begin to like me also, after considering us as a couple? I know that happens to me sometimes....

UGH. Please, I am begging you, just tell me what to do. Ask me questions. Give me advice. Be relentless. Tell me if I should get my stuff together for her. Is it ok if I act clingy? I am reluctant to initiating conversations, yet we somehow always end up talking because she approaches me. Is this another sign that she likes me??

Please just be honest with me. I am tired of wasting my energy always focusing on her and I just want to know if she likes me without ruining our friendship or my friendship with her friends.... save me :dry: :unsure:
 

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First of all, it's cute that you like her so much lol.

I think you're doubting yourself too much. Have you tried flirting with her? Start off with some basic flirting and see what her reaction is. If she looks at you like you're a mad man then you might be a bit out of luck. If she looks at you and smiles & blushes you might have a chance. I wouldn't be too clingy until she starts showing some interests. Idk about other INFJ women, but I like to be chased. So initiate conversations about whatever.
 
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@spoons
IMO, it's quite definite that she likes your company, but it's very hard to ascertain if she likes you as a friend or someone special. INFJs have an interest in knowing & understanding people and that can be misconstrued. I'm not trying to discourage you but just telling you what could be. You should take active action to find out and try progress this friendship. It's unlikely for INFJs to make the move or be direct and the two of you might end up playing lotsa mind games and feel frustrated.

Don't be clingy or pushy but actively show signs of interest and see if she responds. If she needs time to mull over, give her time.
 

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Don't flirt, be honest. You're too young for games. Gently ask her out.
 
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Ok I admit I didn't read the story.

But, if you want to test the love factor... buy her a dresser from Ikea and put it together, together.

The heart wants what the heart wants.*

*allen key sold separately
 

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I would do more than hint. I would just ask her out. That way, if she says no, you can just say "okay, just thought it was worth the ask :) so did you finish the bio homework?" and yada yada and brush it off. (Not sure if she'll believe that, depends on her.)

Also, I would suggest seeing a therapist. It sounds to me like you might have depression, and it will be a lot easier to be in a healthy relationship if you try to get that taken care of. :)
 
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