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Discussion Starter #1
I am tired of beyond belief of reviewing my life when I had pretended to be someone else and hid my heart just to please others, just because I was scared :angry::angry::angry::angry::angry::angry::angry:

I am sick of years of being untrue to myself :angry::angry::angry:

I can fool everyone else, I can fool my family, I can fool the world but I cannot fool MY HEART :angry::angry::angry::angry::angry::angry::angry::angry: It's tiring that because I was afraid from my past, I was afraid of my pain that I pretended to be someone else for FAR TOO LONG. That I was dishonest with myself when I interacted with a lot of people in my life!! :angry::angry::angry:

For one year plus, I won't be able to set foot in UK because I currently have problems with my studies right now. And you know what sucks? My second ex and my guy best friend - THEY NEVER get the chance to know DIRECTLY from me about how much I've loved them all along. Why? Because I was NEVER true to myself, I never got the guts to show who I really was. FUCK.

It hurts like hell, nobody can imagine how exhausted I feel right now but me.

I've had ENOUGH of pretending and bullshitting in becoming someone I'm not. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.

From now on, I just remain as kind hearted to everyone as possible but at the same time be true to myself.
 

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No one knows the real me either. It hurts. But the real us will not thrive in this world, will we? If I were to be really myself, I'd show my weaknesses and all, who would accept them, apart from our own loving parents?
 

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you go girl! :D just think, what would the world be like if Martin Luther King didn't stand up for what he believed? i'm glad you've come to the realization but crap that you had to go through all that pain to get there. I hope this helps Izzie XD
 

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I truly wish I had your courage, but I'm so scared of the thought of showing my true self to the world that I don't even consider trying. I guess it all comes down to a dependency of having people not thinking negatively about me.
 

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Discussion Starter #6
It sucks that I cried tonight wondering who it is , AGAIN, when I look in the mirror okay
 

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In a nutshell..

I think, I conclude, both logically and intuitively, I HAVE TO remind myself that although I have the duty to serve my parents, society, people in my life.. I also need to balance all of these out with a stronger sense of self and a stronger sense of living my life for ME.

I think I need to be reminded many times by myself that I live my life for myself too. And in that process, I realize that I desire independence and a greater clarity of my strengths and weaknesses.

I really want to conquer the fears of disappointing people and looking stupid.

Thank you INFP's and INTJ's I have found online..I am getting somewhere..sigh
 

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Well I really hope you'll actually do that cause I've had a lotof that "enough" moments. And nothing really changed. But I honestly wish you'll do it ;)
 

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No one knows the real me either. It hurts. But the real us will not thrive in this world, will we? If I were to be really myself, I'd show my weaknesses and all, who would accept them, apart from our own loving parents?
It is to my experience that friends that accept us for who we are will accept our values, across the board with myself and my INFP friends who have close friends.

Izzie, you've gotten up all on your own, and your welcome. You got this. :mellow:
 
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