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Discussion Starter #1
So there is this INTX guy (it's very likely that he's an INTP) who was on the art course I just finished. The last time I spoke to him, we had this brilliant, engagingly abstract conversation about our interests, ideas and theories. The art course was dominated by Sensors, who weren't interested in talking about purely abstract concepts and ideas, so I had to suppress what I really wanted to talk about just to be accepted by my purely Sensing group of friends. When he came over to talk to me, I got to enjoy what happened to be the first in-depth, iNtuitive conversation I had had in months! I found it so exhilarating and stimulating. I even had a little mind-crush on him by the end of it. I'm not attracted to him sexually or physically at all, but intellectually (if that makes sense.) I loved experiencing his brilliant, rational mind and I wanted more :blushed:

I want so badly to talk to him (in person) again... not since being with my ENTP ex have I had a conversation with someone with whom I was able to mesh so wonderfully, so perfectly, that I was left craving their company so long after. I love all the Sensors that I've encountered and befriended over the course of this year. They truly know how to party and relish the physical world. But there has always been a disconnect when I speak to them, like each of us doesn't really understand where the other is coming from. My friends struggled to see the point in my need for analytical discussions, my periods of solitude needed to digest social events, or my "overthinking". Similarly, I had to study the Sensing/Experiencer type online in order to understand their overwhelming obsession with the novel and the current, their ability and need to take in so much sensory information without analysing it as I would, and their love for back-to-back clubbing, socializing and physical experience.
For this reason, it will always be the Rationals with whom my heart does lie :blushed: I really got the impression whilst talking to this INTX guy (as I have done when talking to other iNtuitive Thinkers) that he valued intelligence, ideas and in depth discussion as much as I did. I even think he was indirectly flirting with me- after I told him that I preferred discussing concepts and ideas to the clothes and gossip my friends loved talking about, he recited an Eleanor Roosevelt quote: "Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people."

The only problem is this: how to explain wanting to meet up with him outside of college, without it seeming like I see him as a potential love interest/like I'm asking him out on a date? (we are both about to go to uni, so I'm not looking for a long term relationship with anyone) All I want to do is talk to him, and experience the kind of iNtuitive connection I've been missing out on all year.. :unsure: this would be so much easier if I was of the opposite sex.

Anyone been in similar situations? (it's probably a cliche by now, the typical "ENFP likes INTX..." :rolleyes:)
 

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Agreed. Honestly, if you explain everything you just said here to him, he'll probably understand. NT types enjoy hearing a logical explanation of how you're feeling, and find it very refreshing compared to all of the "OMG I'm just so sad why can't you understand" crap that we have to listen to from most of our friends. There's really no need to sugar coat it, avoid the topic or lie about how you feel. Just be honest, and he will appreciate it.
 

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*An INTJ appears*

Yes, the INTJ/ENFP dynamic...classic. Made especially more classic knowing I have had relations with an ENFP...or two...or three.

I would suggest being forward with this INTx. There's nothing I hate more than when someone obviously beats around the bush. For me, it's relatively easy to tell when someone is interested in me (if I pay attention; usually, I'm not interested in relationships enough to pay that attention). I can tell when they're dancing around a subject like an ENFP Baryshnikov and it's happened with the ENFPs I know so many times that I begin to wonder if the beating-around-the-bush approach was started by an ENFP.

Just be forward, but be your playful self. Personally, I love a good challenge. Show him how interested you are in his intellect, his contributions to your conversations, his imagination. Show him why he should return the interest by being your natural self (for I have yet to encounter an ENFP who hasn't piqued my curiosity and love for a challenge).

Simply put, go for it.
 

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Discussion Starter #7
update: a month later, and I still haven't contacted him. I just typed out a message and hope it's up to scratch. INTPs, what would you make of this?

this is the message I sent him via Facebook inbox.

"hi, how's your summer going? Hope you're well.


I know it's been a while, but I just wanted to say that I really enjoyed talking to you when we were at college. Interesting discussions about theories, ideas and concepts are what truly stimulates me, but due to personality differences, I never found much of that whilst hanging out with my friends. I think it's safe to say that the conversation we had in the art room was one of the most intellectually satisfying conversations I have had in a long time.

I admire your intelligence and artistic talent, and I'd really like to speak to you again. :)"
 

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I can really relate to what your saying. Ns to me are so much more engaging for me personally. I have nothing against Ss but they just don't move me the way an N personality can. I would do what you can to pursue him what could you possibly lose? Believe me if not him there will be another one to turn your light on and I bet this one likes you anyway INTXs are suckers for ENFPs I know I am. It's such an effortless communication. I find it so stimulating it is in fact one of the main reasons for me coming to this site there just aren't as many N types.
 

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Discussion Starter #9
I can really relate to what your saying. Ns to me are so much more engaging for me personally. I have nothing against Ss but they just don't move me the way an N personality can. I would do what you can to pursue him what could you possibly lose? Believe me if not him there will be another one to turn your light on and I bet this one likes you anyway INTXs are suckers for ENFPs I know I am. It's such an effortless communication. I find it so stimulating it is in fact one of the main reasons for me coming to this site there just aren't as many N types.
I know what you mean about S types. All my friends are S types, and I only feel comfortable communicating with them because I've known them for long enough to have observed their speech patterns well enough to imitate them convincingly. Whilst this "communication" probably looks authentic to a casual onlooker, it's really a tremendous effort on my part when I'm not in the right frame of mind/lacking energy. They always tell me that I "understand them", that we "have a lot in common", and that I express just what they feel. I'm glad they find our interactions stimulating, because I rarely get much in the way of stimulation out of conversations with them. That probably sounds awfully typist, but it's not an insult; it's just that I prefer to talk about more abstract things that they have little interest in. Trying to speak to my friends about abstract theories would be like going to an artist and asking them to write a lengthy dissertation on philosophy or something; wrong practician.

You're right about me having nothing to lose. I just messaged him, and whether or not he replies, at least I made an effort. I hope he does though, people with such brilliant minds and intriguing perspectives are hard to find. I can always tell I'm speaking to an INtuitive when we can spontaneously converse so easily.. speaking to S types requires a conscious effort to keep my speech concrete and to not appear "weird". So rarely do I meet Ns, with whom I can tune the outside world out and focus on exploring dreams and ideas. Afterwards I feel like I'm buzzing. Thanks :happy: I'm a sucker for INTXs, in particular INTJs, although INTPs seem especially drawn to me. It's good to find that you guys find us ENFPs as stimulating as we find you.
 

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"hi, how's your summer going? Hope you're well.


I know it's been a while, but I just wanted to say that I really enjoyed talking to you when we were at college. Interesting discussions about theories, ideas and concepts are what truly stimulates me, but due to personality differences, I never found much of that whilst hanging out with my friends. I think it's safe to say that the conversation we had in the art room was one of the most intellectually satisfying conversations I have had in a long time.

I admire your intelligence and artistic talent, and I'd really like to speak to you again. :)"
Here you are saying that you care about him, you miss him, you enjoy his company, you don't classify him in with your friends, you find him intellectually stimulating, you admire him, and you'd like to spend time speaking with him again. Sounds to me like you may be interested in doing more than just talking with this guy.
 

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Chances are you'll become romantically attracted to him eventually. The best relationship start out this way. :)
It remains to be seen whether he feels the same way for her, but... yeah.
 
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Discussion Starter #13 (Edited)
Here you are saying that you care about him, you miss him, you enjoy his company, you don't classify him in with your friends, you find him intellectually stimulating, you admire him, and you'd like to spend time speaking with him again. Sounds to me like you may be interested in doing more than just talking with this guy.
shit.. rumbled :blushed: you NTs always see right through me.
truth is, I kind of do find him attractive. It's a different kind of attraction- not physical at all, but intellectual. I'm not really used to it, usually physical attraction comes first and intellectual attraction is a whole different ballgame (with the SP guys I've met, the attraction has been purely physical.)

Now it all comes down to whether or not he replies. He isn't the type of person who frequents his facebook, so I have my doubts that he will, but it was worth a try. Like I said, Ns are so rare and connecting with them is such a pleasant experience that I'd rather not let it pass me by. If it doesn't work out, I don't ever have to see him again (we don't live near each other and will be going to different unis.)
 
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shit.. rumbled :blushed: you NTs always see right through me.
truth is, I kind of do find him attractive. It's a different kind of attraction- not physical at all, but intellectual. I'm not really used to it, usually physical attraction comes first and intellectual attraction is a whole different ballgame (with the SP guys I've met, the attraction has been purely physical.)
It was easy enough to see your attraction -- you spilled it all over your writing. You know, it has often been said that the brain is the sexiest human organ. Your initial intellectual attraction may very well under the right time and circumstances lead to something more.

Now it all comes down to whether or not he replies. He isn't the type of person who frequents his facebook, so I have my doubts that he will, but it was worth a try. Like I said, Ns are so rare and connecting with them is such a pleasant experience that I'd rather not let it pass me by. If it doesn't work out, I don't ever have to see him again (we don't live near each other and will be going to different unis.)
Are the universities located near each other?
 

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Discussion Starter #15
It was easy enough to see your attraction -- you spilled it all over your writing. You know, it has often been said that the brain is the sexiest human organ. Your initial intellectual attraction may very well under the right time and circumstances lead to something more.



Are the universities located near each other?
That may well be true. At least I spoke my mind.
Perhaps, who knows? I don't know how he feels about me. He seemed to like me; when we were at art college, he often came to speak to me (despite his being in a different room) and one time he came over to talk to me more than 5 times in one day :laughing: He is very shy though, I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't respond to my message out of genuine bewilderment.

No, they're in completely different parts of the country. Which is why I'm a bit hesitant about the idea of getting involved with him as more than friends; uni is an opportunity to meet a whole range of different people, and I'd prefer to go there single.
 
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