[curious0610]

I've noticed a trend in the type of people I am usually drawn to or interested in. They usually fall in the NT Temperament, and I think i've been gravitating towards INTJs. But older, better balanced INTJs, in their late 20s, early 30s. (not so much with younger INTJs.... with them, i think i have a completely opposite reaction lol...)

>Intellectual
>Pretty chill
> Disciplined
>Usually hear from other people that they think this person is arrogant, selfish, and self-centered (i beg to differ. i see the selfish part, but maybe not so much the arrogant part. even with the selfish part, i see in the older INTJs, that once you;re "in" you're IN, and they will make it known they care about you.)
>Very fair
>Ivory tower category - most of the ones i've been interested in usually have a Masters in one area of concentration, but are pursuing a degree (PhD or Masters) in another area (we share the same restlessness and that search/thirst for knowledge. for different reasons though - i think for them, it's more of this thirst/search for knowledge and figuring out a practical career, whereas mine is more about figuring out an ideal career, in line with my values... and on the way, i also thirst for knowledge to make that happen)
>Very little interest in talking to anyone who is already not inclined with their views, prefers people who are heavily interested in the conceptual issues he is already interested in
> Usually hear from other people that they think this person doesn't care for other people - i would have to kind of agree, though i'd love to be the exception? :blushed:

The thing is... i would appreciate if i could get to know these people better. im not really looking for romantic relationships or anything, but i would like to eventually get to know them better and be friends with them? the thing is, i see our similarities, both in mannerisms and the conceptual issues we are interested in, but this is what i'm having a problem with:

1. we're interested in the same conceptual issues, but i dont know how to bring it up into a conversation, casually? since they are INTJs, i feel like i need to have a reason to say anything, and even for myself, i find it just hard to randomly talk about something that we are both interested in, when the conversation is about something else.
2. actually, that's the main thing up there. i think that if we were to be on the same page on the conceptual issues, that would be a platform for how we can develop a platonic friendship and they might even care about me as a person?

IDK, i think there's something else im trying to get my finger on, but i dont know what! :bored: Any advice would be appreciated, esp. if any of you have any interactions with older INTJs.

 

[Filigeedreamer]

I get on really well with INTJs...we just tend to click pretty quickly. I donno what it is I do exactly though, I just be me.

What I have noticed though is boys I supsect were INTJ or INTP have come up to me a few times after some sort of preformance, and said basically how much they liked it/me. It's as if they don't think much of me at all, I hardly exist/matter, as I am usually so quirt. I'm just another nerdy girl, then I stand up and say give a talk and it tends to be quite quirky and creative...I am very good at talking to audiences and engadging them in what I do. If I am allowed to I go all out, I do slide shows, sometimes with hand drawn pictures ect. With music acompanying it, video clips ect. After that it's as if they see me for the first time. I sort of interest them, as I am a bit of an enigma, I think.

Other times I have had them start getting friendly with me is after a debate, especially if I argued with them and held my own, for some reason. I had quite a heated debate with one boy, and afterwards he rushed up to me as we left class and said how great he thought I was and how much he respected me! I mean before hand I just got treated with general distain, and I thought right, I'm taking you down a peg or two. Aparently, he liked that...unfortunatly he was a bit of an IQ snobb, and I wasn't into all that, so there wasn't a friendship. But he was very cordial and warm towards me from then on.

Most of my male friends have been INTX...I think they like creative people, who help them consider things from another perspective. They are great listeners like INFJs, but that means they really value being listend to, especially when it comes to those subjects that excite them. But you need to be genuinely interested in the subject too, don't fake it to flatter them.

The INTJ I have been the closest too was my best friend in the whole world from the age of 5 to 11. I found we settled into a pattern where he was a teacher figure, and I was the student. Anytime I struggled with something, he would very paciently explain it to me. He taught me the names of all the dinosaurs, and gave me plastic ones as gifts, so I didn't forget. I also remember one accossion at a birthday party when all the other kids were off playing bowling, we sat on our own in a quirt area chatting away excitedly. Someones mother came over to check we were ok, and asked what we were talking about. He told her were were discussing if God existed or not, and I chirped in that he was teaching me what an agnostic was too. The women looked at us as if we were crazy. :tongue:

He was the boy that knew the latin name for different varieties of seaweed, and the only child I knew, other than me, who would stop playing to pull up their socks. I seemed to just boss him about, hug him against his will, and help him have fun. He took great joy in joining in with my imaginative ideas.

(My INTJ is now the man you discribe, and is doing a Masters in Chemestry.) Just bring up their favorate subjects, any excuse is often welcome to touch upon it. Don't be afraid to question them, or ask their advice if you are new to a subject, but don't fake an interest or pretend you know more than you do. Don't be afraid to be funny, or bright, or do slightly silly things. (They tend to sectretly like that.) One of the INTXs I know has a captians hat, and bubble pipe he wears on and off, just for fun. If you don't know him well he seems really stuck up and seriouse, but he can be silly, not as silly as me (I bring that out more), but still silly. He is often funny in a dry/witty way, which I really like.

Getting to the soft, fuzzly bit inside can be tricky...but it can be done, and is very rewarding. The joy I take from being with smart INTX men, is why my mother thought I might run off with a lecturer at uni...I did get very fond of some of them and vice versa, they are like puppies! But like puppies, I wouldn't want to get romantic with one...I mean all that grey hair...:crazy:

 

[ertertwert]

Talking to INTJ's is easier than talking to any other type. You don't even need a reason to bring up something. Just flat out say, "So what do you think about Death Note?" or "So what's your favorite band?" and just go from there. I usually try and figure them out before trying to explain myself. If you come along side them as a friend and show that you are interested in them, they will come around and show interest in you. The number one key is R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Just show them that you are interested in what they have to say and you'll be surprised how much they actually have to offer. INTJ's are my favorite type probably.

 

[geeklady]

My bf is an INTP. We have been dating for about 3 years and it is amazing. It can be difficult at times because we are so different, but our differences are really a reason why our relationship is so wonderful. I am his emotional side and he is my intellectual, logical side. I have always been attracted to NT's also and I am extremely happy with mine. They are quite similar to our personalities, if you take the time and effort to open up with them and give them the caring and respect that they crave, they will be some of the best people you will ever meet and one of the best friends and lovers :happy:

 

[viva]

I had to giggle when I read this because there was a phase when both me and my INFJ best friend were madly enamored with an INTJ and experienced the same struggles that went along with it... and one day he called me and said, very seriously: "I've had a revelation. We're both so obsessed with their dark, strange energy because we don't understand it. We envy it and we want to obtain it. But you know what? Honestly, they're not mysterious-- they're just assholes!"

:crazy: