Personality Cafe banner

1 - 20 of 29 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
547 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
When I try to imagine my crush's face in my head, nothing comes up apart from a blurry image based off what I know of him, ie I know he is slim, I know he has freckles and I know he has brown hair but all that comes up is a generic reproduction of those facts, not the exact image of him. It's not like I can't recognise him; I just can't recreate a picture of him in my head. This ONLY happens when I try to imagine HIM, not with anyone else. This has happened with the crush before as well. However when I stop liking them it's easy for me to imagine them.

tl;dr version = I can't remember the exact features of a guy when I'm crushing on them even though I have no trouble recalling the facial features of every other person I know. But I have no trouble remembering the crush when I've stopped liking them.

Has this phenomenon occurred to anyone else?
What on earth is going on here?
 

·
MOTM January 2013
Joined
·
10,639 Posts
I've had this with ex's and crushes. I don't know what causes it but it would sure be interesting. I think its like when you try to visualise, the image becomes even more distant, I can't remember what their voice sounds like or anything.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,493 Posts
Ah, interesting. That's how I feel about everything and everyone.

My dreams and memories are all extremely blurry but very emotionally charged nonetheless. It could be related to an excess of opioids generated by your brain as opioid receptors are able to alter perception and lead to transient (or permanent) depersonalization.

Otherwise, I could also see this being a problem relating to anxiety.
 

·
Grand Inquisitor
Joined
·
8,118 Posts
Weird, I kinda get this too. But maybe only seeing them once a week has something to do with it... (but I've known them for years)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
381 Posts
Hehe! I had this "problem" back when I was younger and had crushes at school! I remember thinking that I could remember they were handsome and I could remember their hair and bodytype and such, but when I was trying to identify them online (facebook equivalent websites) it was veery difficult! Like I'd end up finding someone similar looking and going "Is this him? He looks kinda like him... I think...Wait..What does he even look like?!"

Proves that love really is blind, huh? ;)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,308 Posts
It happens with me and faces in general. Its probably part of my bad prosopagnosia. I have pictures of my gf everywhere up to and including as wallpaper on my phone and I think that is how I remember her face.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,658 Posts
It seems to me that you're idealizing your crush.

That person you see is not the de facto person, but the set of traits that you see in this individual that you find appealing. That way, you can ignore the flaws of the person over this ideal 'crush' that looks so perfect.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
381 Posts
@Tenshi hm it's not that I can't identify him. When I see him online or IRL I know it is him. It's just in my imagination where I can't recall his face XD

Yeh, obviously. I didn't mean it like that. I would definitely recognize him everywhere (although I remember I started seeing my crush everywhere, if someone had similar clothing or so on ["OH IS THAT HIM OMG oh wait it's just someone with a similar shirt...."]) XD)

And if people didn't have blurry pictures of themselves online, it would've been much easier haha.

But I would identify him in real life easily of course. :D
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
395 Posts
I've actually never heard of this before. It sounds kinda cool actually, in a 'having an interesting quirk' kind of way.

I'm just terrible with faces in general and any face I do remember, it's always just one expression or facial characteristic.
One guy, I simply remember because he has a small face. Any other detail, I don't know.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
547 Posts
Discussion Starter #13
The answer?

Someone online said it's because crushes make you feel nervous and since the mind automatically blocks out negative emotions/memories, it's trying to block out the feeling of nervousness you get that it associates with your crush. This explanation made sense to me.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
78 Posts
Someone online said it's because crushes make you feel nervous and since the mind automatically blocks out negative emotions/memories, it's trying to block out the feeling of nervousness you get that it associates with your crush. This explanation made sense to me.
I have this problem every time and this does make sense.
Right now, trying to imagine what she looks like and I just can't get it to work.
Also, imagining myself asking her out or something can make me just as nervous as the real thing.
Just the idea that I'm standing in front of her and mumbling some words get's my heart pumping like crazy.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
85 Posts
lol me too! But I never thought that others would have this as well.

I used to see my crush everyday and I know it's him when I saw him, but when someone asked me "So what does he look like?", I just can't seem to picture him clear enough to describe his face.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
8,597 Posts
"Help! I can't remember what my crush looks like!"

Pfft, introverts. Typical. :rolleyes:

:wink:

I have a very good visual memory and I can still remember what the first girl I kissed looked like (that was ~20 years ago). It also doesn't hurt to, you know, take pictures of each other every once in a while if you find your facial memory to be somewhat hazy. :)
 
  • Like
Reactions: ENTPfemme

·
Registered
Joined
·
618 Posts
Wow I have never heard of this... Very odd. Although understandable. :) How cute.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
414 Posts
I've had this with ex's and crushes. I don't know what causes it but it would sure be interesting. I think its like when you try to visualise, the image becomes even more distant, I can't remember what their voice sounds like or anything.
I find something even weirded. When I try to imagine my crush I can't see him either. But I can totally hear the guys voice in my head. And when I concentrate really hard, then I start seeing him. But without his voice, I can't see him in my head. That is weird, I know. Anyone else with this situation?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,560 Posts
Do you react differently when you try to picture your crush? As if he's really important and you have to remember what he looks like thus putting pressure on yourself?

I bet you don't even think of picturing other people, it just happens yet with your crush it seems like you're trying too hard.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
829 Posts
I can't recreate a picture of him in my head...I can't remember the exact features of a guy when I'm crushing on them even though I have no trouble recalling the facial features of every other person I know. But I have no trouble remembering the crush when I've stopped liking them.

Has this phenomenon occurred to anyone else?
It exactly happens to every time I have a crush on some boy. Very well described.
 
1 - 20 of 29 Posts
Top