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I've been doing a lot more reading recently about the Enneagram in general, and am starting to confuse myself somewhat. I've taken several tests, and I always turn up a 4w5, strongly. In many ways, this does feel like the right fit for me, and I resonate with a lot of it. Although there's something underlying it all that doesn't seem quite "me"? It seems like my tri-type is 459, and so maybe that's what is causing me some confusion. I guess maybe I don't understand what to do with all of the information when you start taking into account type + wing + instinctual variant + tri types. It's so layered, and I have been wondering whether or not I really am a 4 in the first place, but maybe more like a 5 (I'm very cerebral and love to get lost in books and ideas) or some sort of unhealthy 9 (I block out and disassociate from painful things by going into my fantasy world, although it's usually ultimately unsuccessful. I'm also crazy with routine in my life. I'm in a very complacent place right now). But maybe that's to do more with maybe being a SP 4? Ah I'm so confused. Any insights? Thank you.
 
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