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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
And I think I'm better than he is.

I wish I didn't. I'm certainly not better than he is. I'm just as flawed in just as many ways and if I knew how not think think it I would stop. But it's instinct. Deep down when I see him I sigh a little. I find him loud. I find him irritating. I find him tiresome.

I feel as though he isn't worth my time.

It's really not a thing I'm proud of. I think it says a great deal more about me than it does him. But it is what it is, I suppose. Does anybody else ever feel this way sometimes?
 

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And I think I'm better than he is.

I wish I didn't. I'm certainly not better than he is. I'm just as flawed in just as many ways and if I knew how not think think it I would stop. But it's instinct. Deep down when I see him I sigh a little. I find him loud. I find him irritating. I find him tiresome.

I feel as though he isn't worth my time.

It's really not a thing I'm proud of. I think it says a great deal more about me than it does him. But it is what it is, I suppose. Does anybody else ever feel this way sometimes?
Of course everyone has these thoughts and feelings, but there are social niceties that keep us all from treating each other like shit.Personally I’m cautious of this topic because of so many hot button words, and the potential for you to be lying and trying to get others to open up so you can use it against them in the future.Regardless, I’ll bite.
Sometimes I think I am better than an overweight person because I can move more quickly and chances are I’ll have less health problems in the future. But that is just a surface analysis.I know plenty of overweight people with hearts of gold.Do you know that a lot of times people eat to soothe difficult feelings? Unconsciously, too, I think people sometimes put on weight to protect themselves. I think it’s super important to keep in mind that everyone has struggles, and some might be going through some really trying times right now.

Do you believe that people are just minds and bodies? I have a very deep belief that people are also composed of emotions and spirits as well. I had someone tell me once that overweight people KNOW they are overweight.I mean it’s obvious but sometimes easy to forget.I’m guessing it is a major difficulty that they struggle with daily, but the mindset of being better reduces that struggle simply to: “they are sloppy” or “not trying,” which is hardly a full analysis of a person’s situation. People are way more complex than a two second look and a two second judgment. You know this.
As far as someone not being worth your time, I’m guessing you are of the mindset to improve yourself. I suppose it’s good to weigh yourself against others to see where you fit in, to see who you want to be more like and less like; But for balance I also believe it’s good to remember that no matter how awesome you get, there will always be someone better, and there will always be someone worse.Rare that that isn’t true.
 

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SAY MY NAME
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Have you considered that you may be externalizing feelings of self-loathing onto this man? Because I used to irrationally dislike people proportionate with how much I disliked my self. Only when I began being confident in my self did I stop harbouring bitter feelings for others. (I mean 'my self', not 'myself' - there's a big difference there!)

I don't think I have a virulent dislike toward anyone in particular apart from Ayn Rand; and I'm not sure she should count because it is her works and ideology that I find revolting, not herself.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
I don't think I have a virulent dislike toward anyone in particular apart from Ayn Rand; and I'm not sure she should count because it is her works and ideology that I find revolting, not herself.
I think I might have made this thread a bit too specifically about one person. I don't hate the guy at all. He was an example more than a target. I just have an unwarranted feeling of superiority when it comes to some people and I'm interested to see if that's an INFJ thing, a me thing or something everybody experiences. StableSun's post assures me it is something we all feel from time to time, but part of me wonders if, in this case, it has anything to do with our weaker functions.
 

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Ah, ok…I think you will find several recent threads touching on the topic of INFJ’s feeling superior, with discussion of the functions, though I can’t point you toward any specifics. Read through some, give it time, you will find your answers.

 

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I've honestly never felt like this before. I've either felt inferior or equal.
I do view in general everyone are equal regardless of their accomplishments, talents, fame, wealth, looks, shape, whatever.
We're all just people, humans, who live on this planet doing things alone or together.
It's sad to give each other more or less worth.
 

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I've honestly never felt like this before. I've either felt inferior or equal.
I do view in general everyone are equal regardless of their accomplishments, talents, fame, wealth, looks, shape, whatever.
We're all just people, humans, who live on this planet doing things alone or together.
It's sad to give each other more or less worth.

i wish i could be that forgiving to people. through all the pain and tough times i know we all go through, i respect that view of people. it's one i cannot have.
 

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Sure, I feel this way sometimes. After that I feel lucky that I am not fat and stupid. Being fat and stupid must be hard.

I have never been fat, but I have been unable to eat or move. I am really glad I had people who helped me in those times.

I have also done many stupid things. It's nice to have people who still care about me after seeing some of them.

I guess nobody is perfect.
 

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There are definitely people that will irritate people, and there are definitely people that aren't worth more time than you are forced to spend with them. There are a billion apples out there, some of them are bound to be bruised and unappealing. If you've gotten to know the guy well, and that's your opinion, then it is what it is. You have to call a pole a pole, you know?

Keeep in mind that this isn't all that objective, though. Some people are just bound to rub certain people the wrong way just by being who they are. It's like when you judged even though you haven't necessarily done anything wrong. There was just something fundamentally wrong with you on their subjective level. Same thing here. I, personally, wouldn't feel bad.
 

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I think I might have made this thread a bit too specifically about one person. I don't hate the guy at all. He was an example more than a target. I just have an unwarranted feeling of superiority when it comes to some people and I'm interested to see if that's an INFJ thing, a me thing or something everybody experiences. StableSun's post assures me it is something we all feel from time to time, but part of me wonders if, in this case, it has anything to do with our weaker functions.
I think it's a human thing in general.
 

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I have an ambivalent attachment style, so I naturally view myself as lower than everyone else (which is potentially as bad as the opposite).

The way to help you get around this is to realize that you're viewing the world in regards to yourself. You're comparing who he is to yourself, and thus valuating his worth. But his worth isn't comparable to yours. You're extremely valuable, just as he is.

Start searching for the good in people, rather than the negatives. Both make up a person, but your thread purely focuses on the negative parts of this person. When you look at people, make yourself find what makes them good. It will eventually humble you when you realize the things strangers have done, and what they are like.
 

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There are some people I find myself devaluing whether it's conscious or not. Despite feelings I have about them, I do try to treat them as well as I do others. With that, I regard justice and fairness highly. I'm in a class that's known to have two distinct groups who hate each other, but I'm settled on the fence.. and I intend to stay there. Sitting on the fence mean that I know the gossips from both sides, I can see the big picture of situations, and that I stand as someone who sees them equally.. as if as a protest that they are equal. Being friends with the majority of them, I'm exposed to different good sides and bad, like other INFJs, I'm seen as someone who they can talk to when they need it. I've had rough times with people who are selfish, some even narcissistic, plain rude, and thoughtless. I tend to challenge these people, but for their own good. The nature of it is that you often see their good part before encountering their bad ones, and I hold onto that idea when I try to help them. When they start valuing our friendship or for some reason depend on me, and at some point offends me deeply (usually not on purpose, but either way, uncaring), they become frantic and are really forced to reflect why I withdraw from them. When I withdraw, really heavy tension fills the room. Sometimes people just need to have some time for reflections and consider their actions and attitudes towards others. It's not easy. There have been people who have failed, but for those who didn't, the results are amazing.

I think I just went on a tangent, sorry. While we tend to see good parts of other people, our perception is also somehow prone to linger on their bad side-- if they do get on our bad side. I know someone who I also find very annoying, he drains the energy out of me, her loud mouth.. everything she does-- I find annoying. This is why I don't get the belief that 'the things we dislike about others is a reflection of us', sorry but I don't think I'm loud-mouthed :tongue:. Anyway, I guess we have to find ways to see pass that. Not exactly nullify them; which is probably worse for the overall scheme of things, right? It's not easy to tolerate. But then again, there are different kinds of people in this world (16, not including subtypes? :wink:), there will always be those who 'repel' us. But that's okay, I guess what matters is how we respond to that, how we grow from that.
 

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I don't see how to make the leap from finding someone loud/irritating/tiresome to thinking I'm better than them. I don't see the fact of experience or logic that would allow me to arrive at that conclusion given those premisses.

Better how?
 

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I don't see how to make the leap from finding someone loud/irritating/tiresome to thinking I'm better than them. I don't see the fact of experience or logic that would allow me to arrive at that conclusion given those premisses.

Better how?
It's possible, but it would be more of a subconscious thought than a conscious thought.
 

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It's just a matter of perspective. When you focus on a person's flaws, but then ignore or dismiss your own by comparison, of course you will view that person as 'lesser'. It's that whole thing about not taking out the plank in your own eye before pointing out another person's splinter, si? And the same holds true in reverse.

If you focus on another person's strengths, but ignore or downplay your own during the comparison, they will appear to be 'better' or of a higher station than you. You know, seeing the tree instead of the forest and such.

Every person is superior to every other person in some way. They're also lesser in some other way. Equal in some others.

But regardless, have no fear. For I am the superior lesser of you all!

Or something like that. :tongue:
 

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How about the subconscious state when one sees a homeless person? A very grimy and smelly, hunched and mumbling homeless?

"thank God I am not" careful to get out of his path

"Oh my, poor soul" careful to get out of his path

"______" careful to get out of his path

take some cash out to hand it to him

give him a hug and say God bless

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